Dockyard takes on the PacNW Derby world!

Roller derby fans got a little bit of everything Saturday night in Tacoma as the Dockyard Derby Dames played host to four different teams representing four different leagues at The Soccer Center. From huge hits and huge leads to first-time and last-time wins, the action was intense from start to finish in the four mini-bout format.

In the format, each of Dockyard’s teams (the Femme Fianna, the Marauding Molly’s, the Hellbound Homewreckers and the Trampires) played host to the visitors (consisting of the Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ Death Rattle Rollers, the Jet City Rollergirls’ CarnEvil, the Rainy City Roller Dolls and the Rainy Terror Brigade, a last-second mix team made up both SCRV and RCRD skaters as well as members of the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade) in 30-minute mini-bouts, showcasing nicely each of Dockyard’s squads while also exposing fans to a variety of styles from across western Washington.

Just as you can imagine, with eight teams of derby girls all under one roof, things heated up quickly (anyone under the roof of the center can testify to that!).

Bout 1: Femme Fianna vs. Rainy Terror Brigade

The Femme Fianna were originally slated to take on the CinderKittens of Lava City, who were unable to make the trip. Instead, a group of skaters banded together from three leagues to battle the first team Tacoma offered on the night. Forming the Rainy Terror Brigade were BrawlyAnna, QT Krusher, Mistress Von Trample, On’Da Sligh and Less Than Shy of Slaughter County’s Terrormedixxx; Suicide Red, Legs Le’nor and Tamazon of the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade; and Crack Attack of Rainy City. The Fiannain contrast, were a little short handed, enlisting the help of roving skater Whomping Willow as well to compliment the likes of T’erin Traxx, Skate Pauli Girl, Goldie Locksdown and company.

Things started off quickly for the Rainy Terror Brigade (RTB), with Suicide Red bursting through for an early 8-4 lead against T’erin Traxx. That’s when Tacoma derby fans got their first taste of On’Da Sligh, the TMX skater who’s been turning heads with her roller-hockey-inspired jamming. Behind a huge blocking line of Legs Le’nor, BrawlyAnna, QT Krusher and Tamazon, Sligh was able to punch through for nine more while Critical Hit was shut out, opening up an early 17-4 RTB lead. Just as Dockyard closed the gap behind a six-point jam by Skate Pauli Girl, Sligh was at it again, racking up eight more. Another four-point jam by Suicide Red and the RTB seemed to be on cruise control, up 29-14.

Suicide Red had picked up a penalty at the end of the fifth jam however, forcing her to start in the box as Whomping Willow took the line for the Femme Fianna. Red was joined shortly after in the box by her Fort Lewis teammate Tamazon, helping open the door for three grand slams to tie things up at 29 apiece, also giving the Fianna a much needed momentum shift.

The Femme Fianna rode that wave as T’erin Traxx and Skate Pauli Girl shut out the Rainy Terror Brigade for three consecutive jams behind great blocking and strategic jamming (not to mention a trip to the box for Sligh), growing their own lead to 45-29 and turning the tables for good.

The Rainy Terror Brigade tried to bounce back, with Sligh picking up eight more in the 10^th jam. But T’erin was right with her again, picking up six herself to make it 51-37 Fianna. But rather than an RTB rebound, the Fianna delivered the knockout blow, shutting out the RTB the rest of the way while Fianna jammers combined for 26 more, blanking the RTB in the bout’s final five jams. One of the best moments during the run came when Diva State donned the jammer cap after focusing on hitting the jammers all bout. Diva State battled her way through the pack, but a minor elbow cost her lead jammer. Rather than take a more defensive approach against Suicide Red, Diva State went on a tear, picking up a grand slam and four more for a 9-0 advantage. When the final whistle sounded, the Femme Fianna pulled of a skillful win, 77-37.

The Rainy Terror Brigade put up a battle, especially early on, considering it was their first time bouting together. For the Fianna, the win is especially nice coming against a mix-team of some very talented skaters, among the best on their respective squads. I had only seen the Fianna skate a scrimmage prior to the bout and was very impressed by how well they skated.

In addition to claiming a win for themselves, the Fianna also struck first blood for Dockyard, looking to represent well for the home crowd. After one mini-bout, Dockyard 1, Everyone Else, 0.

(Here were my recommendations for star consideration: Terin, Diva State and Skate Pauli were my FF picks, with Sligh for the RTB. Also, if I had to call a key jam, it’d be Willow’s 15-pointer to tie it up and change the momentum.)

Bout 2: Trampires vs. Death Rattle Rollers

The second bout of the night may have been the most anticipated, with this blog’s creator and host Elwood Bruise answering the call of duty, stepping up to coach the Trampires against Slaughter County’s Death Rattle Rollers, a team known for hard-hitting blockers and tough defense. Elwood took to the sidelines as normal Trampire coach, Hollywood Chuck Bury, was at speed skating nationals in Peoria, Arizona.

Just as things began in the opening bout, both teams battled for position early, with Dakota D. Stroya breaking through the pack for a fast four for the Trampires. The Trampires got four more from Teeny Mussolini. Speedy Gun Haul-Ass got DRR on the board however, trailing 8-3. Another back-and-forth jammer battle between Bashley Blaze of DRR and Trampire Redd Die forced Die to call it down one to Bashley Blaze, helping DRR inch closer 11-7.

The Death Rattle Rollers seemed to gain some speed in the fourth jam. With Speedy up again for DRR against Tricky Mick, a minor on Tricky ensured no lead-jammer status. Both teams ramped up the hard-hitting, with an injury to Eve Aftermath stopping play following a 7-0 run by Speedy Gun Haul-Ass, giving DRR its first lead, 14-12.

That would be the team’s only lead however. Looking to make the deficit short lived, Dakota D. Stroya rebounded after being run out of the pack by DRR jammer Gun’her Gombos to pick up four. Trampire blocker Mytai Smashya sat back on Gombos after that, allowing Dakota another grand slam, reclaiming the lead 21-14.

Following three more by Teeny Mussolini, Redd Die opened the door wide, getting a nice team blocking effort again anchored by Mytai Smashya, picking up a grand slam plus three for a 32-17 Trampire lead.

The next five jams proceeded similarly, with the Trampires going on a 17-3 run during that span, with Dakota picking up the largest chunk with nine in the ninth jam. The Trampires’ Tricky Mark took a huge hit from Death Rattle Roller Goodilicious, who was shaken up but returned.

Never a team to roll over, DRR got a big boost from Speedy once more, picking up nine points herself with a jamming Mytain Smashya starting in the box. That cut the gap back to 20, but the Trampires proved to be too much to contain the rest of the way, seemingly answering every DRR point with one of their own. In fact, after Speedy picked up three more to make it 53-32, it was the Trampires’ turn to put on a defensive display, shutting out DRR in the final four jams. Teeny, Dakota, Tricky and Redd Die combined for 17 in those five, locking up a 70-32 win. The run was also the result of great blocking by Trampire Rusty O’Toole, who had a solid bout from start to finish.

While the Death Rattle Rollers had some great blocking efforts from Anna Barbera, Goodilicious and others, it was the great teamwork between Trampire blockers and jammers that made the difference. So not only did the win give the Trampires a win, but made for a successful coaching debut for Elwood, who, should he retire from coaching right now, would be undefeated, among the coaching greats with a 1.000 winning percentage! In all seriousness though, the Trampires played a great bout and deserved the win they fought tough for. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 0.

(In this one I’d have to recommend Rusty, Mytai and a toss-up between Tenny and Dakota for Trampires and Speedy or Goodilicious from DRR. Key jam would be Dakota’s fifth jam, scoring nine to take over the lead for good.)

Bout 3: Marauding Molly’s vs. Rainy City Roller Dolls

With the Rainy City Roller Dolls and Dockyard as a league familiar with one another this season (Rainy City topped the Hellbound Homewreckers 128-96 in April and scrimmaged the Femme Fianna in May), it was going to be interesting to see how these two squads matched up.

The Molly’s wasted little time, with a fast pack pace aiding Pain Goodall in blanking Rainy City 4-0 in the opening jam against Toot A. Lou. DVS Dicer, one of two Rainy City skaters bouting for the last time with RCRD, forced Double D-licious to call off the jam after getting a point back, 8-5. After another neck-and-neck jam between Deathrose (the other leaving Rainy City) and Anita Hit Sum Won, proved that the bout would be a narrow one, with the Mollies up 12-8.

After another close jam between Miss Mel Mangles of RCRD and Molly C. Jane Skate made it 14-9, the Molly’s turned up the heat, with Pain Goodall streaking through the pack for lead jammer and four points. A nice cut move at the end capped an eight-point jam for Goodall, putting the Molly’s ahead 22-9 against Rainy City, a team that had won six straight coming into this one. DVS Dicer and Dita Von Squeeze matched each other for six in the next jam to make it 28-15.

With things looking good for the Molly’s, Rainy City responded. A great job early by Slaughter-Kinney, including both a big hit and a nice job sitting back on Anita Hit Sum Won, helped open the door for Toot A. Lou to take lead jammer. Behind a blocking line off Slaughter, Miss Mel Mangles, Holly Hobbler and Crack Attack (making her second appearance on the night after skating with the Rainy Terror Brigade), Toots followed up a four-point pass with a grand slam run that saw Anita sent to the box. Another grand slam later for Toots and the back-and-forth began, putting Rainy City ahead for the first time, 29-28.

With Anita Hit Sum Won in the box, DVS Dicer started on a power jam for Rainy City, picking up a grand slam. Before she could call it however, Anita rejoined the pack and salvaged four for the Molly’s to keep it close, 38-32 Rainy City. Holly Hobbler of Rainy City and Marauding Molly Double D-licious each picked up four in the next jam. After a scoreless 10^th jam Toot A. Lou again helped RCRD inch ahead, getting a 3-2 jam against Dita Von Squeeze to make it 45-38.

Both teams seemed to pick up the physicality of the bout in the twelfth jam, which saw Pain Goodall edge Miss Mel Mangles 4-0 thanks to some hard hitting by Vicious DivaLicious. Mangles got even against Double D-Licious in the next jam however, clearing out Double D while making way for Dicer to get four back for RCRD despite another nice jam for Molly Vicious DivaLicious.

Trailing 49-42, the Molly’s turned to C. Jane Skate. Early in the jam, RCRD’s Deathrose got sent to the box. Capitalizing on the power jam, C. Jane Skate got by Mangles and Crack to pick up a grand slam before adding two more to tie things up 49-49, the first of two ties in the bout. The Molly’s then took that surge of momentum and reclaimed the lead 55-53 thanks to six from Doubel D-licious to Holly Hobbler’s four. The Marauding Molly’s gained another point up in the next jam, with Dita Von Squeeze picking up five to a four-point effort from Deathrose. With time winding down and the Molly’s up 60-57, the fans began to buzz.

True to its build up, the bout came down to the very end. After Toot A. Lou held off Pain Goodall in a physical first pass for both jammers, a miscommunication on a whip attempt ended with Toots on the ground, calling off the jam defensively after three points to tie it back up 60-60. With a little more than a minute remaining, the bout came down to one final jam.

With a slow build up as both teams successfully held the other at bay the first time around the track, DVS Dicer finally got lead jammer for Rainy City. Anita Hit Sum Won stayed close, but got laid out on a big hit by Miss Mel Mangles, who was also sent to the box on the hit. That helped open a path for Dicer to pick up four en route to nine for Rainy City, utilizing a strong blocking effort to shut out Anita. When the final jam was whistled to a stop, Rainy City won a back-and-forth nail biter 69-60, providing the night’s most exciting bout in the process.

The win seemed like something scripted, with DVS Dicer scoring the winning points in her final jam with Rainy City. Both she and Deathrose closed out their Rainy City tenure with strong final efforts. Not only did the win keep Rainy City’s streak alive, but it also kept Dockyard from realizing a sweep at home. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 1.

(In this one I’d have to go with Dicer and Pain Goodall as the clear-cuts. The third could go to any one of Mangles, Toots and Vicious DivaLicsious. Key jam in this one was the very last one.)

Bout 4: Hellbound Homewreckers vs. CarnEvil

With the previous bout being such a close battle, this one seemed to start similarly, with Jet City’s crew taking an early 4-3 lead after the opening jam as Ally Kazaam got a one-point edge against Homewrecker Cookies and MILF. But rather than become another back-and-forth, CarnEvil used some big hits from blockers like Beezlebabe and Suzi 9mm to go up 18-3 through three jams, with Bess B. Ware taking credit for five and Cia Woodnwannabia picking up nine.

The Homewreckers could do little to slow CarnEvil or put big jams on the board themselves, allowing the team from Everett to jump ahead 25-6 behind the jamming of Cia, Mona Agony and Connie Torturous, none of whom earned lead jammer prior to the 7-3 run.

With a fast pack pace continuing into the seventh jam, Homewrecker Streeperella put a big shoulder into CarnEvil jammer Ally Kazaam. Cookies and MILF couldn’t take advantage despite gaining lead jammer however, sent to the box on a cutting major herself. That set up Kazaam on a power jam. Some good blocking (including a blasting hit by Blonde Amazon), helped hold Kazaam early to four before she could pick up a grand slam. Cookies and MILF returned before jam time ran out though, picking up three to make it 34-9.

Following a scoreless eighth jam, the Homewreckers seemed determine to get back within striking distance. Cookies and MILF powered by CarnEvil’s Indy Pendant to earn lead jammer in another fast pack. She was then on the power jam with CarnEvil’s Cia Woodnwannabia picking up an ill-timed cutting major. That (along with more stellar blocking from Blonde Amazon) opened up the door for three grand slams and 17 points total to pull back within 12 at 38-26.

Both teams proceeded cautiously in the next two jams, with a 4-4 jam between Ally Kazaam and Blonde Amazon following a scoreless jam. Someone would have to become the aggressor; this time, it was CarnEvil.

A big hit by Beezlebabe floored Homewreckers’ jammer Ivanna Pound-U, clearing the way for Mona Agony to pick up a grand slam for Jet City. Mona Agony passed the pack twice more before Mary K. LeTurnover sent her to the sport court, forcing her to call the jam off after a devastating 16-0 run. She was given a late penalty after the jam however, forcing her to start in the box after opening up a 58-30 CarnEvil lead. Cookies and MILF couldn’t take full advantage again however, as CarnEvil’s wall held up, allowing just three points.

Connie Torturous grew the CarnEvil lead to 67-33 on a nine-point jam following another scoreless jam in the 14^th. Bess B. Ware and Sister Slaughter battled to make it 69-37 CarnEvil. But with Bess B. ware to the box for cutting and with time winding down, things again started to get interesting.

The Homewreckers again called on Cookies and MILF to begin on the power jam. After picking up lead jammer and getting through for an initial four, Cookies and MILF put a nice juke move on Cia to earn four more. Needing to maximize points, Cookies and MILF sprinted around the track to earn two additional grand slams, capping a whopping 18-point jam and pulling the Homewreckers back within range of a conceivable comeback, 71-55.

It was Cookies and MILF taking on Connie Torturous in what would be the final jam of the night. Showing she can get the job done and score points in bunches, the Dockyard faithful was behind the Homewreckers. Could they really rack up another big jam and tie, or even surpass, CarnEvil on the final jam?

While Cookies and MILF skated well, the answer simply was no. CarnEvil went into the jam with a plan to control the pack pace, setting up hyper defensively to keep the Homewreckers contained. And while Cookies and MILF had a solid six-point jam, it simply wasn’t enough, with Connie Torturous adding three more to cap a 74-61 CarnEvil win, the team’s first victory this season.

So while what started as a blowout got closer toward the end, the visiting teams were able to level the playing field against their hosts. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 2.

(In this one it’d have to be Cookies and MILF and Blonde Amazon for Homewreckers and Ally Kazaam, Connie Torturous and Suzi 9mm for CarnEvil. The key jam in this one I’d say was Ally’s nine-pointer in the seventh from a strategic standpoint, but Cookies’ 18-pointer to pull it close was nice too.)

STATS

Here’s the stats (most graciously compiled by Green Fairy, Jet City’s score keeper and a member of Seattle’s new banked league the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds).

Stats

Jamming

Femme Fianna vs. Terrormedixxx

(Okay. I hate to say it but the scoring on this sheet is all over the board…lol. And I can’t match everything on here up with what Thurston has in his recap. So, no jamming stats for this one. Sorry.)

Trampires (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Dakota D. Stroya (4-4-28)
Teeny Mussolini (5-5-15)
Redd Die (5-4-22)
Tricky Mick (3-1-5)
My Tai Smashya (2-0-0)

Death Rattle Rollers (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Bashley Blaze (7-0-4)
Speedy Gun Haul Ass (7-1-25)
Gun’her Gombos (2-0-3)
Ruby Rottin (1-0-0)
Scuttlebutt Jibberjabber (1-0-0)
Anna Barbara (1-0-0)

Marauding Mollys (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Pain Goodall (5-4-18)
Double D-Licious (4-1-8)
Anita Hit Sum Won (4-1-3)
C. Jane Skate (2-1-9)
Dita Von Squeeze (3-1-17)
Vicious DivaLicious (1-1-4)

Rainy City (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Toot A Lou (6-3-21)
DVS Dicer (5-3-21)
Deathrose (4-0-15)
Miss Mel Mangles (2-0-1)
Holly Hobbler (2-1-9)

Hellbound Homewreckers (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Cookies & MILF (7-7-51)
Pandora Panic (1-0-0)
Blonde Amazon (2-0-4)
Sister Slaughter (2-1-5)
Marcel duStomp (2-0-1)
Mary K. LeTurnover (2-1-0)
Ivanna Pound-U (1-0-0)
Twiggie Smalls (1-0-0)

CarnEvil (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Ally Kazaam (3-1-17)
Bess B. Ware (4-3-7)
Cia WoodNwanna-bia (5-2-13)
Mona Agony (3-1-18)
Connie Torturous (3-2-19)

Blocking

Femme Fianna (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

T’erin Traxx (3-0-1)
Skate Pauli Girl (1-0-0)
Louda Than Bombs (1-0-0)
Snicker Brutal (2-0-2)
Whomping Willow (0-0-1)

Terrormedixxx (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

On’da Sligh (1-0-0)
Brawlyanna (1-0-1)
QT Krusher (7-0-1)
Crack Attack (1-0-0)
Suicide Red (0-0-2)
Leg Lenore (1-0-0)

Trampires (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

My Tai Smashya (3-0-1)
Teeny Mussolini (2-0-0)
Eve Aftermath (2-0-0)
Dakota D. Stroya (2-0-1)
Rusty O’Tulle (4-0-0)
Foul Play (1-0-0)

Death Rattle Rollers (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Miss Direction (0-0-1)
Anna Barbara (1-0-0)

Marauding Mollys (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Vicious DivaLicious (6-0-0)
MzSNOWmer (1-0-2)
Pain Goodall (1-0-2)
Double D-Licious (2-0-0)
Wicked Whip (0-0-2)

Rainy City (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Ghetto Heart (1-0-0)
Miss Mel Mangles (1-0-0)
Holly Hobbler (0-0-1)
Poise N Bury (1-0-0)
Pandora Bloxx (0-0-1)

Hellbound Homewreckers (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Blonde Amazon (0-0-2)
Cookies & MILF (2-0-0)
Mary K. LeTurnover (1-0-0)

CarnEvil (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Beelzebabe (1-0-1)
Bess B. Ware (1-0-0)
Connie Torturous (3-0-0)
Indy Pendant (1-1-1)
Mistress Whiplash (0-1-0)
Mona Agony (0-1-0)
Suzi 9mm (0-0-2)
XE Cutioner (0-0-1)

Penalties

Femme Fianna (PIM)

T’erin Traxx (1)
Skate Pauli Girl (1)
Snicker Brutal (1)
Whomping Willow (1)

Terrormedixxx (PIM)

On’da Sligh (3)
Mistress Von Trample (2)
Suicide Red (1)
Tamazon (1)

Trampires (PIM)

My Tai Smashya (1)
Dakota D. Stroya (1)
Rusty O’Tulle (1)

Death Rattle Rollers (PIM)

Goodilicious (1)
Gun’her Gombos (1)
Ruby Rottin (1)
Anna Barbara (1)

Marauding Mollys (PIM)

Vicious DivaLicious (1)
Anita Hit Sum Won (1)
SARAted Edge (2)
C. Jane Skate (1)
Pain Goodall (1)
Missed Congeniality (1)
Wicked Whip (1)

Rainy City (PIM)

Benj Ya Over (1)
Crack Attack (1)
Deathrose (1)
Holly Hobbler (2)
Miss Mel Mangles (3)
Poise N Bury (1)
Toot A Lou (1)

Hellbound Homewreckers (PIM)

Blonde Amazon (2)
Cookies & MILF (1)

CarnEvil (PIM)

Ally Kazaam (1)
Bess B. Ware (1)
Cia WoodnWanna-Bia (1)
Mona Agony (1)
Suzi 9mm (1)

Short Track

With so much going on, it’s hard to get everything you catch or think about into the recap itself. So let’s do a bout-by-bout on some additional things that impressed me on the night.

Beginning with the very first bout, I was very impressed by the Fianna. I had seen a few of their skaters, but they really skated well against a team that had a lot of talent on it. In the second bout, it was great to see a new team, the Trampires. I’d seen some of their skaters before, but they had a number of skaters who really impressed me. And, getting to see Elwood pick up the ‘w’ was nice. In the last bout, I had never seen any team from Jet City, so CarnEvil definitely gave me a good first impression of what that league has to offer. Another fun crew to watch on the track too with some hard hitters and jukin’ jammers.

But wait, what about the third bout? All I’ve got to say about that is RAINY CITY WHAT!?!?!?!

What a great bout to watch! The Marauding Molly’s, who I’d also never seen, skated extremely well, as did Rainy City after their slow start, making for one hell of an exciting bout from a fan standpoint. But what I really wanted to do was say some additional goodbyes and hellos.

Both DVS Dicer and Deathrose made their final RCRD bout appearances in this one, and both showed exactly why they’ll be missed on the track, with Dicer getting the bout-winning jam and Deathrose continuing to look more and more mentally tenacious on the track throughout. But they’ll also be missed off the track, as they both brought great personalities to the RCRD team. While both are planning on skating down the road (Dicer is moving to Vegas and will try to get on with Sin City while Deathrose is moving to California, where she’s currently researching league’s in her area), they’ll definitely be missed!

On the flip side of that though, three brand new Rainy City skaters made their official debuts in this one, with Chun Lethal, NayK-47 and Benja Over hitting the track for the first time! While they mostly skated in one jam each (Benja had to go to the box, getting her a follow-up jam as well…coincidence? I think not! jk 😉 ), it was nice to see that even as league’s like Rainy City are forced to part ways with talent, that an influx of new talent is stepping up to fill the gaps! And while they didn’t get enough substantial time in this one to fully show how far they’ve come, the fact they made the roster speaks to how hard they’ve been working! Nice job ladies!

But my super huge fucking STAR! star goes to Dicer. You really couldn’t have scripted a better ending. It was fitting that she got to bring it home in her final jam for Rainy City!

So, there you have it. Many commendations to you if you actually made it this far. This is a lot of shit to read; no easy task.

Til next time derby lovers,

xThurstonxGorex