Rollercon 2009! I wasn’t there!
August 6, 2009
But you can bet your ass I will be next year!
After hearing numerous tales of derby and debauchery from Rollercon 2009, I’ve decided to start scrimping and saving, hoping that in a year’s time I too will return home from Las Vegas with my own slew of sensational and salacious stories, and hopefully nothing more.
Herpes does not stay in vegas.
Of course I’ve been familiar with the annual derby lovefest in the city of sin since reading about last year’s in Blood & Thunder. From the action on the streets to the raucous party scene of life after dark, I too long to see the sunrise, while wasted with whiskey in hand, at 7:30 a.m. And I will. Oh I will.
A few of the Rainy City Roller Dolls made the trip down, including veterans Miss Mel Mangles and Crack Attack as well as fresh meat Chun Lethal. They joined thousands of other derby girls and supporters for Rollercon, which includes scrimmages, clinics, vendors, Vegas…just about anything and everything derby!
they'll even airbrush your derby attire, as modeled here by Crack Attack and Chun Lethal.
So, while I didn’t get to make the trip, I’ve been living vicariously for a week and a half. And if that’s reaffirmed anything, it’s that this will be me next year:
My goal next year.
In the meantime, check out recaps here, here, here and here (as well as tons of other places I’m sure; also, don’t forget the comments sections!) to see what went down at this year’s Rollercon-tastic summer party!
Short Track
Next weekend marks my return to the golf course, as I’ll be joining fellow derby adventurer mt.tilicum as well as some other cohorts for the Rainy City Roller Dolls golf fund-raiser at the Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club in Yelm.
First, the details: The four-man scramble will feature a shotgun start with action starting at 2 p.m. The cost for the event is $40 and includes 18 holes at Tahoma Valley, a cart rental and a post-round drink ticket. The event also includes a raffle featuring an assortment of prizes, as well as longest-drive and closest-to-the-pin challenges.
Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club is located at 15425 Mossman St. SW in Yelm. Golfers must pay and register prior to the tournament. For more information or to register, contact Julie Miller (Lucyville SlugHer) at (360) 451-6941.
For me, it’ll be my first time back on an actual course since at least 2004. I’ve hit the driving ranges here and there, sunk a pretty sweet-ass-sweet hole-in-one playing putt-putt last summer, and have been brushing up on my Tiger Woods 04 golf skills via the PS2, but by and large, I expect I’ll suck.
but at least I'll have a better day on the course than this guy!
This is due to several things. First, I can’t drive. I tee off with a 3- or 4-iron, whichever feels right at the time. Can’t swing a driver to save my life. Trust me…it’s safer for everyone this way.
with me on the course, this could be YOU!
But aside from that, I used-to-could golf pretty well, in terms of my approach, short and putting games. So I’m hoping next to channel a little inspiration to hope it all goes well. We’ll be playing in foursomes, and hitting the driving range at least a couple times first, so I think I’ll be able to hold my own OK…all else fails, it comes with the free drink ticket!
"be the ball thurston." or alternately "na-nananananananananana."
Lastly, Rainy City is getting ready for their Aug. 29 bout later on against the Dockyard Derby Dames‘ (of Tacoma) Trampires. Both these teams were at Dockyard’s eight-team four-mini-bout format last month and both won, so it should be a good battle between two very solid teams!
Mark your calendars! In fact, if you want to get the lowdown on this one, you’ll have to get it somewhere else… For the first time since I’ve been involved with Rainy City, I’ll have to (somewhat) voluntarily skip this bout as I’ll be camping up near Mt. Rainier and Paradise, a trip nearly three months in the making.
go to derby for me. i'll be here.
That said, I’m debating how I’ll recap that one…if I’ll just talk to the team and attribute a lot to what they say, or (the preferred idea) if someone out there wants to help me out and write a recap, I’d certainly appreciate it! There may even be a future beer in it for the lucky chosen one! In any event, if you’re interested, e-mail me at thurstongore@hotmail.com and we can chat about it. word.
In the meantime, I’m gonna go get ready for this golf tourney! I leave you with this:
Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the golf course! Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key... Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The little, brown, furry, RODENTS! Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers.
Have fun out there kiddies!
Gopher-killing, derby-lovin’ ¡Thurston Gore!
Dockyard takes on the PacNW Derby world!
July 21, 2009
Roller derby fans got a little bit of everything Saturday night in Tacoma as the Dockyard Derby Dames played host to four different teams representing four different leagues at The Soccer Center. From huge hits and huge leads to first-time and last-time wins, the action was intense from start to finish in the four mini-bout format.
In the format, each of Dockyard’s teams (the Femme Fianna, the Marauding Molly’s, the Hellbound Homewreckers and the Trampires) played host to the visitors (consisting of the Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ Death Rattle Rollers, the Jet City Rollergirls’ CarnEvil, the Rainy City Roller Dolls and the Rainy Terror Brigade, a last-second mix team made up both SCRV and RCRD skaters as well as members of the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade) in 30-minute mini-bouts, showcasing nicely each of Dockyard’s squads while also exposing fans to a variety of styles from across western Washington.
Just as you can imagine, with eight teams of derby girls all under one roof, things heated up quickly (anyone under the roof of the center can testify to that!).
Bout 1: Femme Fianna vs. Rainy Terror Brigade
The Femme Fianna were originally slated to take on the CinderKittens of Lava City, who were unable to make the trip. Instead, a group of skaters banded together from three leagues to battle the first team Tacoma offered on the night. Forming the Rainy Terror Brigade were BrawlyAnna, QT Krusher, Mistress Von Trample, On’Da Sligh and Less Than Shy of Slaughter County’s Terrormedixxx; Suicide Red, Legs Le’nor and Tamazon of the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade; and Crack Attack of Rainy City. The Fiannain contrast, were a little short handed, enlisting the help of roving skater Whomping Willow as well to compliment the likes of T’erin Traxx, Skate Pauli Girl, Goldie Locksdown and company.
Things started off quickly for the Rainy Terror Brigade (RTB), with Suicide Red bursting through for an early 8-4 lead against T’erin Traxx. That’s when Tacoma derby fans got their first taste of On’Da Sligh, the TMX skater who’s been turning heads with her roller-hockey-inspired jamming. Behind a huge blocking line of Legs Le’nor, BrawlyAnna, QT Krusher and Tamazon, Sligh was able to punch through for nine more while Critical Hit was shut out, opening up an early 17-4 RTB lead. Just as Dockyard closed the gap behind a six-point jam by Skate Pauli Girl, Sligh was at it again, racking up eight more. Another four-point jam by Suicide Red and the RTB seemed to be on cruise control, up 29-14.
Suicide Red had picked up a penalty at the end of the fifth jam however, forcing her to start in the box as Whomping Willow took the line for the Femme Fianna. Red was joined shortly after in the box by her Fort Lewis teammate Tamazon, helping open the door for three grand slams to tie things up at 29 apiece, also giving the Fianna a much needed momentum shift.
The Femme Fianna rode that wave as T’erin Traxx and Skate Pauli Girl shut out the Rainy Terror Brigade for three consecutive jams behind great blocking and strategic jamming (not to mention a trip to the box for Sligh), growing their own lead to 45-29 and turning the tables for good.
The Rainy Terror Brigade tried to bounce back, with Sligh picking up eight more in the 10th jam. But T’erin was right with her again, picking up six herself to make it 51-37 Fianna. But rather than an RTB rebound, the Fianna delivered the knockout blow, shutting out the RTB the rest of the way while Fianna jammers combined for 26 more, blanking the RTB in the bout’s final five jams. One of the best moments during the run came when Diva State donned the jammer cap after focusing on hitting the jammers all bout. Diva State battled her way through the pack, but a minor elbow cost her lead jammer. Rather than take a more defensive approach against Suicide Red, Diva State went on a tear, picking up a grand slam and four more for a 9-0 advantage. When the final whistle sounded, the Femme Fianna pulled of a skillful win, 77-37.
The Rainy Terror Brigade put up a battle, especially early on, considering it was their first time bouting together. For the Fianna, the win is especially nice coming against a mix-team of some very talented skaters, among the best on their respective squads. I had only seen the Fianna skate a scrimmage prior to the bout and was very impressed by how well they skated.
In addition to claiming a win for themselves, the Fianna also struck first blood for Dockyard, looking to represent well for the home crowd. After one mini-bout, Dockyard 1, Everyone Else, 0.
(Here were my recommendations for star consideration: Terin, Diva State and Skate Pauli were my FF picks, with Sligh for the RTB. Also, if I had to call a key jam, it’d be Willow’s 15-pointer to tie it up and change the momentum.)
Bout 2: Trampires vs. Death Rattle Rollers
The second bout of the night may have been the most anticipated, with this blog’s creator and host Elwood Bruise answering the call of duty, stepping up to coach the Trampires against Slaughter County’s Death Rattle Rollers, a team known for hard-hitting blockers and tough defense. Elwood took to the sidelines as normal Trampire coach, Hollywood Chuck Bury, was at speed skating nationals in Peoria, Arizona.
Just as things began in the opening bout, both teams battled for position early, with Dakota D. Stroya breaking through the pack for a fast four for the Trampires. The Trampires got four more from Teeny Mussolini. Speedy Gun Haul-Ass got DRR on the board however, trailing 8-3. Another back-and-forth jammer battle between Bashley Blaze of DRR and Trampire Redd Die forced Die to call it down one to Bashley Blaze, helping DRR inch closer 11-7.
The Death Rattle Rollers seemed to gain some speed in the fourth jam. With Speedy up again for DRR against Tricky Mick, a minor on Tricky ensured no lead-jammer status. Both teams ramped up the hard-hitting, with an injury to Eve Aftermath stopping play following a 7-0 run by Speedy Gun Haul-Ass, giving DRR its first lead, 14-12.
That would be the team’s only lead however. Looking to make the deficit short lived, Dakota D. Stroya rebounded after being run out of the pack by DRR jammer Gun’her Gombos to pick up four. Trampire blocker Mytai Smashya sat back on Gombos after that, allowing Dakota another grand slam, reclaiming the lead 21-14.
Following three more by Teeny Mussolini, Redd Die opened the door wide, getting a nice team blocking effort again anchored by Mytai Smashya, picking up a grand slam plus three for a 32-17 Trampire lead.
The next five jams proceeded similarly, with the Trampires going on a 17-3 run during that span, with Dakota picking up the largest chunk with nine in the ninth jam. The Trampires’ Tricky Mark took a huge hit from Death Rattle Roller Goodilicious, who was shaken up but returned.
Never a team to roll over, DRR got a big boost from Speedy once more, picking up nine points herself with a jamming Mytain Smashya starting in the box. That cut the gap back to 20, but the Trampires proved to be too much to contain the rest of the way, seemingly answering every DRR point with one of their own. In fact, after Speedy picked up three more to make it 53-32, it was the Trampires’ turn to put on a defensive display, shutting out DRR in the final four jams. Teeny, Dakota, Tricky and Redd Die combined for 17 in those five, locking up a 70-32 win. The run was also the result of great blocking by Trampire Rusty O’Toole, who had a solid bout from start to finish.
While the Death Rattle Rollers had some great blocking efforts from Anna Barbera, Goodilicious and others, it was the great teamwork between Trampire blockers and jammers that made the difference. So not only did the win give the Trampires a win, but made for a successful coaching debut for Elwood, who, should he retire from coaching right now, would be undefeated, among the coaching greats with a 1.000 winning percentage! In all seriousness though, the Trampires played a great bout and deserved the win they fought tough for. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 0.
(In this one I’d have to recommend Rusty, Mytai and a toss-up between Tenny and Dakota for Trampires and Speedy or Goodilicious from DRR. Key jam would be Dakota’s fifth jam, scoring nine to take over the lead for good.)
Bout 3: Marauding Molly’s vs. Rainy City Roller Dolls
With the Rainy City Roller Dolls and Dockyard as a league familiar with one another this season (Rainy City topped the Hellbound Homewreckers 128-96 in April and scrimmaged the Femme Fianna in May), it was going to be interesting to see how these two squads matched up.
The Molly’s wasted little time, with a fast pack pace aiding Pain Goodall in blanking Rainy City 4-0 in the opening jam against Toot A. Lou. DVS Dicer, one of two Rainy City skaters bouting for the last time with RCRD, forced Double D-licious to call off the jam after getting a point back, 8-5. After another neck-and-neck jam between Deathrose (the other leaving Rainy City) and Anita Hit Sum Won, proved that the bout would be a narrow one, with the Mollies up 12-8.
After another close jam between Miss Mel Mangles of RCRD and Molly C. Jane Skate made it 14-9, the Molly’s turned up the heat, with Pain Goodall streaking through the pack for lead jammer and four points. A nice cut move at the end capped an eight-point jam for Goodall, putting the Molly’s ahead 22-9 against Rainy City, a team that had won six straight coming into this one. DVS Dicer and Dita Von Squeeze matched each other for six in the next jam to make it 28-15.
With things looking good for the Molly’s, Rainy City responded. A great job early by Slaughter-Kinney, including both a big hit and a nice job sitting back on Anita Hit Sum Won, helped open the door for Toot A. Lou to take lead jammer. Behind a blocking line off Slaughter, Miss Mel Mangles, Holly Hobbler and Crack Attack (making her second appearance on the night after skating with the Rainy Terror Brigade), Toots followed up a four-point pass with a grand slam run that saw Anita sent to the box. Another grand slam later for Toots and the back-and-forth began, putting Rainy City ahead for the first time, 29-28.
With Anita Hit Sum Won in the box, DVS Dicer started on a power jam for Rainy City, picking up a grand slam. Before she could call it however, Anita rejoined the pack and salvaged four for the Molly’s to keep it close, 38-32 Rainy City. Holly Hobbler of Rainy City and Marauding Molly Double D-licious each picked up four in the next jam. After a scoreless 10th jam Toot A. Lou again helped RCRD inch ahead, getting a 3-2 jam against Dita Von Squeeze to make it 45-38.
Both teams seemed to pick up the physicality of the bout in the twelfth jam, which saw Pain Goodall edge Miss Mel Mangles 4-0 thanks to some hard hitting by Vicious DivaLicious. Mangles got even against Double D-Licious in the next jam however, clearing out Double D while making way for Dicer to get four back for RCRD despite another nice jam for Molly Vicious DivaLicious.
Trailing 49-42, the Molly’s turned to C. Jane Skate. Early in the jam, RCRD’s Deathrose got sent to the box. Capitalizing on the power jam, C. Jane Skate got by Mangles and Crack to pick up a grand slam before adding two more to tie things up 49-49, the first of two ties in the bout. The Molly’s then took that surge of momentum and reclaimed the lead 55-53 thanks to six from Doubel D-licious to Holly Hobbler’s four. The Marauding Molly’s gained another point up in the next jam, with Dita Von Squeeze picking up five to a four-point effort from Deathrose. With time winding down and the Molly’s up 60-57, the fans began to buzz.
True to its build up, the bout came down to the very end. After Toot A. Lou held off Pain Goodall in a physical first pass for both jammers, a miscommunication on a whip attempt ended with Toots on the ground, calling off the jam defensively after three points to tie it back up 60-60. With a little more than a minute remaining, the bout came down to one final jam.
With a slow build up as both teams successfully held the other at bay the first time around the track, DVS Dicer finally got lead jammer for Rainy City. Anita Hit Sum Won stayed close, but got laid out on a big hit by Miss Mel Mangles, who was also sent to the box on the hit. That helped open a path for Dicer to pick up four en route to nine for Rainy City, utilizing a strong blocking effort to shut out Anita. When the final jam was whistled to a stop, Rainy City won a back-and-forth nail biter 69-60, providing the night’s most exciting bout in the process.
The win seemed like something scripted, with DVS Dicer scoring the winning points in her final jam with Rainy City. Both she and Deathrose closed out their Rainy City tenure with strong final efforts. Not only did the win keep Rainy City’s streak alive, but it also kept Dockyard from realizing a sweep at home. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 1.
(In this one I’d have to go with Dicer and Pain Goodall as the clear-cuts. The third could go to any one of Mangles, Toots and Vicious DivaLicsious. Key jam in this one was the very last one.)
Bout 4: Hellbound Homewreckers vs. CarnEvil
With the previous bout being such a close battle, this one seemed to start similarly, with Jet City’s crew taking an early 4-3 lead after the opening jam as Ally Kazaam got a one-point edge against Homewrecker Cookies and MILF. But rather than become another back-and-forth, CarnEvil used some big hits from blockers like Beezlebabe and Suzi 9mm to go up 18-3 through three jams, with Bess B. Ware taking credit for five and Cia Woodnwannabia picking up nine.
The Homewreckers could do little to slow CarnEvil or put big jams on the board themselves, allowing the team from Everett to jump ahead 25-6 behind the jamming of Cia, Mona Agony and Connie Torturous, none of whom earned lead jammer prior to the 7-3 run.
With a fast pack pace continuing into the seventh jam, Homewrecker Streeperella put a big shoulder into CarnEvil jammer Ally Kazaam. Cookies and MILF couldn’t take advantage despite gaining lead jammer however, sent to the box on a cutting major herself. That set up Kazaam on a power jam. Some good blocking (including a blasting hit by Blonde Amazon), helped hold Kazaam early to four before she could pick up a grand slam. Cookies and MILF returned before jam time ran out though, picking up three to make it 34-9.
Following a scoreless eighth jam, the Homewreckers seemed determine to get back within striking distance. Cookies and MILF powered by CarnEvil’s Indy Pendant to earn lead jammer in another fast pack. She was then on the power jam with CarnEvil’s Cia Woodnwannabia picking up an ill-timed cutting major. That (along with more stellar blocking from Blonde Amazon) opened up the door for three grand slams and 17 points total to pull back within 12 at 38-26.
Both teams proceeded cautiously in the next two jams, with a 4-4 jam between Ally Kazaam and Blonde Amazon following a scoreless jam. Someone would have to become the aggressor; this time, it was CarnEvil.
A big hit by Beezlebabe floored Homewreckers’ jammer Ivanna Pound-U, clearing the way for Mona Agony to pick up a grand slam for Jet City. Mona Agony passed the pack twice more before Mary K. LeTurnover sent her to the sport court, forcing her to call the jam off after a devastating 16-0 run. She was given a late penalty after the jam however, forcing her to start in the box after opening up a 58-30 CarnEvil lead. Cookies and MILF couldn’t take full advantage again however, as CarnEvil’s wall held up, allowing just three points.
Connie Torturous grew the CarnEvil lead to 67-33 on a nine-point jam following another scoreless jam in the 14th. Bess B. Ware and Sister Slaughter battled to make it 69-37 CarnEvil. But with Bess B. ware to the box for cutting and with time winding down, things again started to get interesting.
The Homewreckers again called on Cookies and MILF to begin on the power jam. After picking up lead jammer and getting through for an initial four, Cookies and MILF put a nice juke move on Cia to earn four more. Needing to maximize points, Cookies and MILF sprinted around the track to earn two additional grand slams, capping a whopping 18-point jam and pulling the Homewreckers back within range of a conceivable comeback, 71-55.
It was Cookies and MILF taking on Connie Torturous in what would be the final jam of the night. Showing she can get the job done and score points in bunches, the Dockyard faithful was behind the Homewreckers. Could they really rack up another big jam and tie, or even surpass, CarnEvil on the final jam?
While Cookies and MILF skated well, the answer simply was no. CarnEvil went into the jam with a plan to control the pack pace, setting up hyper defensively to keep the Homewreckers contained. And while Cookies and MILF had a solid six-point jam, it simply wasn’t enough, with Connie Torturous adding three more to cap a 74-61 CarnEvil win, the team’s first victory this season.
So while what started as a blowout got closer toward the end, the visiting teams were able to level the playing field against their hosts. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 2.
(In this one it’d have to be Cookies and MILF and Blonde Amazon for Homewreckers and Ally Kazaam, Connie Torturous and Suzi 9mm for CarnEvil. The key jam in this one I’d say was Ally’s nine-pointer in the seventh from a strategic standpoint, but Cookies’ 18-pointer to pull it close was nice too.)
STATS
Here’s the stats (most graciously compiled by Green Fairy, Jet City’s score keeper and a member of Seattle’s new banked league the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds).
Stats
Jamming
Femme Fianna vs. Terrormedixxx
(Okay. I hate to say it but the scoring on this sheet is all over the board…lol. And I can’t match everything on here up with what Thurston has in his recap. So, no jamming stats for this one. Sorry.)
Trampires (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)
Dakota D. Stroya (4-4-28)
Teeny Mussolini (5-5-15)
Redd Die (5-4-22)
Tricky Mick (3-1-5)
My Tai Smashya (2-0-0)
Death Rattle Rollers (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)
Bashley Blaze (7-0-4)
Speedy Gun Haul Ass (7-1-25)
Gun’her Gombos (2-0-3)
Ruby Rottin (1-0-0)
Scuttlebutt Jibberjabber (1-0-0)
Anna Barbara (1-0-0)
Marauding Mollys (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)
Pain Goodall (5-4-18)
Double D-Licious (4-1-8)
Anita Hit Sum Won (4-1-3)
C. Jane Skate (2-1-9)
Dita Von Squeeze (3-1-17)
Vicious DivaLicious (1-1-4)
Rainy City (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)
Toot A Lou (6-3-21)
DVS Dicer (5-3-21)
Deathrose (4-0-15)
Miss Mel Mangles (2-0-1)
Holly Hobbler (2-1-9)
Hellbound Homewreckers (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)
Cookies & MILF (7-7-51)
Pandora Panic (1-0-0)
Blonde Amazon (2-0-4)
Sister Slaughter (2-1-5)
Marcel duStomp (2-0-1)
Mary K. LeTurnover (2-1-0)
Ivanna Pound-U (1-0-0)
Twiggie Smalls (1-0-0)
CarnEvil (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)
Ally Kazaam (3-1-17)
Bess B. Ware (4-3-7)
Cia WoodNwanna-bia (5-2-13)
Mona Agony (3-1-18)
Connie Torturous (3-2-19)
Blocking
Femme Fianna (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
T’erin Traxx (3-0-1)
Skate Pauli Girl (1-0-0)
Louda Than Bombs (1-0-0)
Snicker Brutal (2-0-2)
Whomping Willow (0-0-1)
Terrormedixxx (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
On’da Sligh (1-0-0)
Brawlyanna (1-0-1)
QT Krusher (7-0-1)
Crack Attack (1-0-0)
Suicide Red (0-0-2)
Leg Lenore (1-0-0)
Trampires (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
My Tai Smashya (3-0-1)
Teeny Mussolini (2-0-0)
Eve Aftermath (2-0-0)
Dakota D. Stroya (2-0-1)
Rusty O’Tulle (4-0-0)
Foul Play (1-0-0)
Death Rattle Rollers (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
Miss Direction (0-0-1)
Anna Barbara (1-0-0)
Marauding Mollys (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
Vicious DivaLicious (6-0-0)
MzSNOWmer (1-0-2)
Pain Goodall (1-0-2)
Double D-Licious (2-0-0)
Wicked Whip (0-0-2)
Rainy City (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
Ghetto Heart (1-0-0)
Miss Mel Mangles (1-0-0)
Holly Hobbler (0-0-1)
Poise N Bury (1-0-0)
Pandora Bloxx (0-0-1)
Hellbound Homewreckers (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
Blonde Amazon (0-0-2)
Cookies & MILF (2-0-0)
Mary K. LeTurnover (1-0-0)
CarnEvil (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)
Beelzebabe (1-0-1)
Bess B. Ware (1-0-0)
Connie Torturous (3-0-0)
Indy Pendant (1-1-1)
Mistress Whiplash (0-1-0)
Mona Agony (0-1-0)
Suzi 9mm (0-0-2)
XE Cutioner (0-0-1)
Penalties
Femme Fianna (PIM)
T’erin Traxx (1)
Skate Pauli Girl (1)
Snicker Brutal (1)
Whomping Willow (1)
Terrormedixxx (PIM)
On’da Sligh (3)
Mistress Von Trample (2)
Suicide Red (1)
Tamazon (1)
Trampires (PIM)
My Tai Smashya (1)
Dakota D. Stroya (1)
Rusty O’Tulle (1)
Death Rattle Rollers (PIM)
Goodilicious (1)
Gun’her Gombos (1)
Ruby Rottin (1)
Anna Barbara (1)
Marauding Mollys (PIM)
Vicious DivaLicious (1)
Anita Hit Sum Won (1)
SARAted Edge (2)
C. Jane Skate (1)
Pain Goodall (1)
Missed Congeniality (1)
Wicked Whip (1)
Rainy City (PIM)
Benj Ya Over (1)
Crack Attack (1)
Deathrose (1)
Holly Hobbler (2)
Miss Mel Mangles (3)
Poise N Bury (1)
Toot A Lou (1)
Hellbound Homewreckers (PIM)
Blonde Amazon (2)
Cookies & MILF (1)
CarnEvil (PIM)
Ally Kazaam (1)
Bess B. Ware (1)
Cia WoodnWanna-Bia (1)
Mona Agony (1)
Suzi 9mm (1)
Short Track
With so much going on, it’s hard to get everything you catch or think about into the recap itself. So let’s do a bout-by-bout on some additional things that impressed me on the night.
Beginning with the very first bout, I was very impressed by the Fianna. I had seen a few of their skaters, but they really skated well against a team that had a lot of talent on it. In the second bout, it was great to see a new team, the Trampires. I’d seen some of their skaters before, but they had a number of skaters who really impressed me. And, getting to see Elwood pick up the ‘w’ was nice. In the last bout, I had never seen any team from Jet City, so CarnEvil definitely gave me a good first impression of what that league has to offer. Another fun crew to watch on the track too with some hard hitters and jukin’ jammers.
But wait, what about the third bout? All I’ve got to say about that is RAINY CITY WHAT!?!?!?!
What a great bout to watch! The Marauding Molly’s, who I’d also never seen, skated extremely well, as did Rainy City after their slow start, making for one hell of an exciting bout from a fan standpoint. But what I really wanted to do was say some additional goodbyes and hellos.
Both DVS Dicer and Deathrose made their final RCRD bout appearances in this one, and both showed exactly why they’ll be missed on the track, with Dicer getting the bout-winning jam and Deathrose continuing to look more and more mentally tenacious on the track throughout. But they’ll also be missed off the track, as they both brought great personalities to the RCRD team. While both are planning on skating down the road (Dicer is moving to Vegas and will try to get on with Sin City while Deathrose is moving to California, where she’s currently researching league’s in her area), they’ll definitely be missed!
On the flip side of that though, three brand new Rainy City skaters made their official debuts in this one, with Chun Lethal, NayK-47 and Benja Over hitting the track for the first time! While they mostly skated in one jam each (Benja had to go to the box, getting her a follow-up jam as well…coincidence? I think not! jk 
), it was nice to see that even as league’s like Rainy City are forced to part ways with talent, that an influx of new talent is stepping up to fill the gaps! And while they didn’t get enough substantial time in this one to fully show how far they’ve come, the fact they made the roster speaks to how hard they’ve been working! Nice job ladies!
But my super huge fucking STAR! star goes to Dicer. You really couldn’t have scripted a better ending. It was fitting that she got to bring it home in her final jam for Rainy City!
So, there you have it. Many commendations to you if you actually made it this far. This is a lot of shit to read; no easy task.
Til next time derby lovers,
xThurstonxGorex
Rainy City Prescibes Terrormedixxx a Loss
June 2, 2009
Wow.
As I finally begin to write this blog – almost three full days since the Rainy City Roller Dolls traveled north to battle the Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ Terrormedixxx – I’m left with the exact same description that was in my head just moments after the final whistle.
Wow.
What more can you say? Shit, I was announcing and couldn’t come up with a whole lot more.
There are moments in life when you realize how glad you are to be doing what you’re doing, to be involved with whatever it is that makes life more meaningful for you. This bout, more than any I’d been to beforehand could ever be, sealed the deal for me. Roller derby will be a part of my life from here on out, and bouts like last Saturday’s are exactly why.
Featuring an insanely close score with lead changes on both sides, hard hits from both TEAMS (not just individuals), a track record for this sort of thing and a whole lot more, the Rainy City Roller Dolls descended on Bremerton last weekend, looking to avenge a 2-point loss almost a year to the day.
No, they’re not the same RCRD squad that battled TMX last year. Sure, talents like Napalm Beth, Merciful Kate, Tina Burner and others had left. Sure, the Terrormedixx had picked up a skater who may just one day change the face of roller derby in the Pacific Northwest. Sure, TMX won last year.
But none of that mattered. When the final whistle sounded, all that mattered was the Rainy City 139, Terrormedixxx 134 flashed on the scoreboard that illuminated Bremerton Skateland, and 13 skaters in particular, in the end.
For a great-as-usual play-by-play recap of the bout, make sure you check out Elwood Bruise’s All Bout Derby here. Rather than go over the whos, whats and whens, I want to focus on some of the other aspects to this game. The emotional roller coaster throughout, the camaraderie and rivalry shared by two great teams. I’ll also talk a little bit about the Dockyard Derby Dames’ Waves of Mutilation knocking off SCRV’s Death Rattle Rollers.
Because of the track record, anyone familiar with either of these teams knew it would be a great battle. Aside from their history against one another, both teams routinely join forces at scrimmages or in times of need, like the Team Washington-Puget Sound Party Mix team that went down and battled Rose City’s Guns n’ Rollers a few weeks back. A couple RCRD girls skated with DRR when Slaughter County hosted its Island Invasion at Vashon a couple months ago.
So no one was surprised when this one started off closely. In fact, Rainy City, after opening a 9-0 lead, saw it get trimmed, then rise again, before D.V.S. Dicer put up 23 points in one jam, helping build an RCRD lead that would last through the half, eventually becoming a 71-58 halftime score. Don’t let that 13-point difference fool you. TMX was within 10 at least five times in the first half. They couldn’t nab the lead for the first time until 108-106 however, another testament in and of itself to the intensity of the bout.
As the bout went on, the intensity proportionately increased. Rainy City, always known for being a hard-hitting team, has faced some hard-hitting skaters before who can bring a shoulder down as solidly as anyone. But this time, it was an entire team hitting as hard as they do. I think one of my favorite moments all night was when, coming around the outside of the straightaway, TMX’s Brawlyanna leveled Miss Mel Mangles of RCRD with a huge shoulder. The very next turn, Miss Mel Mangles returned the favor, flooring Brawlyanna right back. After getting back up, Brawlyanna was ready to dish out another, with only the expired clock calling a draw in the heated one-on-one battle within the greater bout.
But their example also personifies what I love most about these two teams. Perhaps more than any of their respective teammates, Mangles and Brawlyanna are the most likely to be seen kicking your ass during a bout, then getting your ass drunk afterwards. Perhaps more than any other leagues, these two seem to share a kinship, a sisterhood if you will. They’ll beat the crap out of each other without remorse for an hour or more. But when it’s all said and done, RCRD and SCRV are almost exactly one in the same. In fact, I heard or overheard at least two girls from each team say something along the lines of, “If I ever left my team, I’d skate with you guys!”
Still, the bout wasn’t without its drama. Rainy City’s Tinkerbell Ringer was ejected after a late hit sent fast-rising up-and-comer TMXer On’Da Slight hard into the wall. The hit was after the whistle, but I think this was more a case of not hearing the whistle than headhunting. Nevertheless, it happened, and Tink was, as she should have been, ejected. More sisterly squabbles boiled over in the second half as well, leading to ejections for both RCRD’s Lil Miss Make-Her Mark and Terrormediccc Lolli Von PerkiPops for fighting. But for every harsh word exchanged, there were traded smiles of adoration, usually from a skater whose ass just met the hardwood thanks to an introduction from the opposition. And that, my friends, is what it’s all about.
Aside from Mangles and Brawlyanna, there’s several worth mentioning from this one. Dicer, and fellow second third-time-bouter Poise n’ Bury each continued to show improvement for Rainy City. It was great to see Dicer in particular bust out some huge jams after finding herself in the penalty box while jamming more than anyone wants to against the Eves of Destruction last month. PoiseN continues to show her developing versatility as well, this time primarily blocking.
But perhaps, along with Mangles, the true standout in this one was Toot A. Lou. As both a blocker and jammer, all she does is bust her ass, as evidenced by her 51 points across 11 jams to lead RCRD. And, as Elwood points out in his blog too, is nothing but consistent. Lucyville Slug-Her similarly did a nice job offensively and defensively.
The entire Rainy City blocking game, led by Mangles, Crack Attack, Make’Her, PoiseN and Slaughter-Kinney in this one, traded powerful blow after powerful blow with the TMX line of Brawlyann, QT Krusher, Roller Rage Rosie and Rollin Dirty. Both lines played their hearts out. Each had their own role along with their teammates. Whether sitting on a jammer, holding the inside, or laying someone out, they all did it well.
B Murda and Sonic Wave were both solid for the Terrormedixxx, but offensively, it was all Sligh keeping them in this one. She led the bout with 62 points in a dozen jams. But she showed she too still needs to get a little more comfortable with teh rules. During the TMX comeback effort in the second half, a costly penalty might have made the difference. Aside from saying it was 116-113 RCRD at the time, I’ll let Elwood say the rest:
Even in outscoring Rainy City 12-4 in her final two jams, this was the one that could have prevented the loss for Slaughter County. But she knows it, as her humility is truly what earns her the affection of not only fans and friends, but the opposition too. She’s definitely become one of the skaters to watch in the PacNW. She can move her feet like none I’ve seen, slicing and squeezing through holes I didn’t know were there before. In fact, at one point in the second half, I saw her jump to try to get by a Rainy City blocker[Crack Attack], take a huge shoulder hit while completely airborne, and still come down, regain her balance and skate off ahead of the pack.
While I can’t mention them all (my words are running long-winded enough for now), every girl who stepped on the track for both teams truly and honestly contributed something at some point. Whether opening a hole for a split second to let a jammer make even just one pass, to putting another skater on the ground, to anything and everything in between, I can’t say I’ve ever seen a better example of complete teams bouting head-to-head.
In closing, I think Miss Mel Mangles said it best:
“Among other factors SCRV is like a sister to RCRD…but sometimes sibling rivalry turns into a family feud.”
Now if only family feud’s were this damn entertaining!
Short Track
In the second bout of the Carnival of Pain doubleheader, the new Dockyard Derby Dames all-star team, the Waves of Mutilation, took down the Death Rattle Rollers surprisingly hard, 145-87. No one would have been surprised one way or the other on the victor. It was the large difference that was a little eye-opening. But, DRR (and TMX for that matter) were both missing some key skaters due to injuries or pregnancies. But even with those extra bodies, the Waves were in a groove from the very beginning, riding behind the jamming of Dakota D. Stroya, Rita Beata Maid, Pain Goodall and Skate Pauli Girl. T’Erin Traxx is another DDD skater who showed off her versatility, jamming and blocking with a sense of ease. MyTai Smashya and Teeny Mussolini were also solid for Dockyard. DRR got a boost from some of its fresh meat, with Evil JenEvil stepping up for 11 jams and 16 points. Usual suspects Speedy Gun Haul Ass (46 points) and Bashley Blaze (21) also handled the bulk of the offense for the Death Rattle Rollers. Blocking-wise, always solid Anna Barbera was solid once more, and Nerd Rage provided one of my favorite moments of the night. Wearing a gold fanny pack, she was able to give what she’s subsequently dubbed a Fanny Pack-tastic Whip, sending her teammate around the track thanks to a hand from her fanny pack strap. Rubby Rotten and Goodie Licious were also solid on the line for DRR.
Special happy birthdays to Rainy City’s Pandora Bloxxx and Dockyard’s Goldie Locksdown, both of whom got to celebrate with their respective teams’ wins. I hope you got more spankings at the afterparty than you did on the track!
Also, this bout saw me make my official bout announcing debut, calling both bouts alongside three-year SCRV vet, the lovely and talented Stab-Her Lee! I was so excited to get to work with this mass-respected derby vet and she certainly helped me settle in to a comfort zone quickly. It’s a shame she won’t be around the booth regularly for too much longer, but what a great run! So Kitsap derby fans, make sure you show up to the SCRV season finale on June 27 at the Kitsap County Fairgrounds Pavilion and give her some love! Who knows? I might just show up there too…
I hope this recounting gives at least a little taste of the intensity the bout provided. I had to try hard as I could not to jump up and down screaming with the mic. And while I’m sure it doesn’t quite accomplish that, how could it? As I said earlier, I was announcing as it happened, and even then couldn’t put it into words.
Also, can’t wait for this weekend as the Rainy City Roller Dolls and Slaughter County Roller Vixens head out to Kennewick along with the Lava City Roller Dolls (Bend, Ore.) to battle hosts Atomic City in a heated desert battle! It’s gonna be a super good mini-tourney with a fantastic afterparty and camping – all things I approve of and enjoy. So check out D-Day in the Desert! You won’t want to miss it! Did I mention it’s outdoors? My first outdoor bout! Woots!
In any event, hope I didn’t forget anything. As usual, comments and dialog always welcome!
Keep on keepin’ on derbyers.
Much love,
Thurston Gore!
Carnival of Pain! Preview! Action!
May 30, 2009
What a Friday!
The sun is shining, everyone is generally happy. A long weekend lends itself to a short week.
And now, after waiting, it’s time. ROLLER DERBY TIME!
I myself will be making the trek from Olympia to Bremerton, eager for some double-header action as the Slaughter County Roller Vixens host the Carnival of Pain! on Saturday at the Bremerton Skateland.
I’m not sure which bout is first, so I’ll just start off with a quick preview of what I think will open, the SCRV Death Rattle Rollers taking on the Dockyard Derby Dames’ (Tacoma) new all-star team, the Waves of Mutilation (love the Pixies reference too btw!).
Featuring captains Franky Bones, Diva State, and one of my personal favorite Dockyard skaters, Marcel duStomp, the Waves of Mutilation truly are the cream of the Tacoma crop, feature a nice mix of Dockyard members from a number of different Dockyard squads. Also on the roster are such Dockyard vets as Cookies & MILF, Pink Tatillac, Sister Slaughter and Skate Pauli Girl. This will be the 2009 debut bout for this particular pairing however, so you kow they’ll have their hands full with the Death Rattle Rollers.
DRR, with skaters like captains Abbey Cadabra and Speedy Gun Haul-Ass, not to mention talent like Anna Barbera, Ruby Rotten, Miss Direction, Darth Maul’Her and Dreadful Dodger, are always one to put up a good fight. This should be an interest bout both from a competitive standpoint, but also to see just how far Dockyard has come.
In the night’s second bout (although again, order is as yet unknown), the Rainy City Roller Dolls will once again try to bring the reign and rain the pain down on the SCRV Terrormedixxx. These two teams faced off last year in an extremely close bout almost exactly one year ago to the day. But a lot has changed on both sides since then.
TMX is always a tough team to battle, and with Rainy City coming off a win in Victoria against the Eves of Destruction, you know both teams are going to leave it all on the floor! Rainy City will be skating the usual suspects, including, but not limited to, Miss Mel Mangles, Holly Hobbler, Crack Attack, Toot A. Lou, Lucyville Slug-Her and more. But you know the TMX combos of Brawlyanna, Misstress Von Trample, Daisy Nuke, Rollin Dirty and others will be sure to challenge. Throw in jammer sensation On Da Sligh, and this one really could be anybody’s bout!
As if the action on the floor weren’t enough reason to come out, you can come catch me in my official bout debut, as I’ll be announcing on behalf of Rainy City for at least that bout. My previous announcing experience – and only for that matter – came in Portland earlier this month when Team Washington, featuring many of the skaters we’ll see Saturday, took on the Rose City Rollers’ Guns n’ Rollers. But making it even more exciting for me is I’ll be announcing alongside the lovely and talented Stab-Her Lee, who just announced via her myspace that June 27 will be her last bout after announcing for SCRV for three years. It will truly be an honor to saddle up to the mic with such an accomplished derby vet! Also, if you have nothing going on tonight and feel like a trip to Tacoma, catch Stab-Her Lee at the Emerald Queen Casino as she opens for Spike and the Impalers!
So remember, this is a good weekend.
A rcknrll wknd.
Much love derby lovers,
ThUrStOn GoRe!!!xxx
