Crazy Busy Derby Weekend On Tap

It’s a crazy busy derby world out there. Go get yours.

While I myself won’t be able to attend any of this weekend’s awesomeness, I encourage you to get out and get your derby on at any or all of the following events! They’re Derbytastic!

For a Friday precursor to the rest of the weekend’s action, there’s a couple options.

Rose City Freshie Bout No. 1:

Rose City Rollers teams Guns n’ Rollers and the High Rollers pair up their freshies for a home bout Friday night against the up-and-coming Cherry City Derby Girls (Salem, Ore.).

The newly drafted members of both Rose City squads are sure to pack a wallop, and its a great preview to see what’s on the way for both those squads this season. And Cherry City has my favorite trio of travelling teammates:

(From L to R) Cherry City's Skate Oddity, Squid Vicious and Edie Disorder (with some Crow and another dude I don't know but who I assume is pretty rad given he's also in this picture) are a travelling party wherever you may find them. Totally ganked off Skate's facebook.

So check it out! Tickets are $14 for general admission and $20 for Rockstar seating. There’s only 400 tickets available, so count on em going fast! Doors at 7 p.m., bout at 8. You can find out more about it here.

So if Friday didn’t kick your ass, Saturday is by far the busiest day.

Kitsap Derby Brats’ Skate-A-Thon

It kicks off with a morning Skate-A-Thon by the Kitsap Derby Brats, everyone’s favorite Northwest tiny terrors. They’re raising money to help keep the junior league growing strong, attempting to see how many laps they can cram into an hour from 10:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at Sk8Town in Port Orchard. You pledge a flat rate or per lap, ranging from as little as a dime a lap to as much as a million dollars a lap. So get your derby grove on in the morning, help support a good cause and help keep the Brats on the derby glory war path! You can find out more on the Kitsap Derby Brats Facebook page.

It's Skate-A-Thon time in Port Orchard!

Rose City Open Scrimmages

If you feel like getting your skate on yourself on Saturday, a short trip down south to Portland finds the Rose City Rollers Open Scrimmages. Taking place from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Oaks Park Hangar, Rose City is hosting the scrimmages as a precursor to Saturday night’s freshmeat bout (more about that in a moment).

There will be a coed portion of the scrimmage as well as regular black and whites, so come prepared! Also, Rose City asks that you please carpool where you can! Admission is $5 and it’s acting as a Training Committee fundraiser for Rose City, so help them get their train on and get back to Nationals!

These are always a blast and well worth the time and money spent! Don’t forget to bring USARS or WFTDA insurance too!

the rink next to the hangar at oaks park!

Rose City Freshie Bout No. 2:

There’s more than one freshie bout in Portland this weekend. Since GNR and the High Rollers are accounted for, you guessed it, this time it’ll be the Breakneck Betties and the Heartless Heathers putting together a squad of new draftees to take on the Southern Oregon Rollergirls (Medford, Ore.). This should be a fun one too, again getting Rose fans exposure to their newest skaters, while giving Southern Oregon (who Rainy City beat last season in my coaching debut) a chance to see where they’re at against some great competition. It should also be a very fun Hangar bout!

But that’s not all! Saturday is a double-header, with the High Rollers battling the Emerald City Rollergirls‘ Andromedolls. That should also be a high-octane battle between the defending champions of both leagues.

Rose City is also planning on unveiling a memorial to Bunny Lepowski, a beloved Rose City and High Roller skater who passed away last season.

Tickets for this one are $16 for general and $22 for Rockstar. The doors are at 5 p.m. with the bouts beginning at 6. More here.

Derby action for your satisfaction!

But the action isn’t just to the south. It’s up north too.

Tilted Thunder Brings Banktrack to the NW

After more than year of hard work fundraising, bouting, building and locating, the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds are finally debuting their new bank track at the Comcast Arena in Everett on Saturday night.

Bank track is back!

With this being their first home bout, and bank track revival’s debut in the Pacific Northwest, it’s gonna be one of the places to be this weekend. It’s Team Red vs. Team Purple in a rematch of a flat track bout the league put on in August.

So check out what more than year of hard work on and off the track has provided! You can find out more here.

But wait…if you so choose, you can go further north still!

SCRV Saints of Slaughter vs. Bellingham Roller Betties’ Blunt Force Trauma

This should be a great bout between two very evenly matched squads, as the Slaughter County Roller Vixens‘ Saints of Slaughter (formerly the SCRV All-Stars), take on the Bellingham Roller Betties’ Blunt Force Trauma at Lynden Skateway (Lynden is a small churchy town just north of the ‘Ham. Seriously. More churches per square mile than anywhere in the U.S.).

It's like this only real.

The action should be incredible. Both squads feature very talented veterans and both teams are hoping to improve this year a la Jet City and make themselves more competitive nationally as well as in the Pacific Northwest.

Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for young-uns with the doors opening at 5:30 p.m. and action beginning at 6. It’ll be a barn-burner I’m sure.

Two of Rainy City's favorite rivals go toe-to-toe!

Ok…I think that finally wraps up Saturday. But that leaves one more day to get your derby fix…

Dockyard Open Scrimmage Round 2

The Dockyard Derby Dames (Tacoma) will be hosting their second open scrimmages of the season Sunday from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. at the Auburn Skate Connection. And what better time to go have some fun with Tacoma’s derby darlings?

After all, they’ll have lots to celebrate, having just been accepted as a full-fledged member of WFTDA! Congrats Dockyard!

These scrimmages are also black and whites, so bring $5, your insurance and a couple tee shirts! It’s free for refs, non-scrimmaging coaches and NSOs too! Plus, the skating is open to men and juniors. Now THAT’S derby equality! Dockyard always puts on a good event, and this should be no different.

In a related unrelated note, they’re also having a poster design contest for bouts for their upcoming season. And if helping out DyDD was not enough, it’ll give ya the chance to win two season passes! So check it out!

OK…I think that about wraps up the crazy derby action this weekend. So get out there and get your skate on!

Later sk8ter,

Thurston Gore (to the max!)

Let Me Welcome Everybody to the Wild, Wild West

*Bonus points if the next thing through your head upon reading the headline was “A state that’s untouchable like Elliott Ness.“

DERBY SENSORY OVERLOAD!

At least that’s how I was feeling at the height of activity surrounding February’s Wild West Showdown, the first WFTDA-sanctioned major event of the 2010 roller derby season. The Showdown, hosted by Bremerton, Washington’s Slaughter County Roller Vixens, welcomed 19 WFTDA teams, a host of other skaters and squads for challenge bouts, and became the hub of the derby nation for three days.

The wildest and westest of all showdowns!

And it was fucking awesome.

For the past year-plus-some that I’ve been involved with roller derby, this was the first opportunity I had to see it on such a grand scale. I get to see Philly? Live? Yes please! Oly-WoJ rematch? Thank you! Throw in a metric shit ton of awesomeness from teams around the country, and I was all set! Plus, I got to work in many of the bouts…enough so that I actually only got to see one full bout as a fan. But it was still awesome. Cause derby rules.

Now before I go too far, I’m not really gonna highlight a ton of bouts. DNN is great for that!

My weekend derby saga began great, as I had taken off the Friday of the showdown. I pulled into Bremerton ready to rock and roll! In a last-second add-on, in addition to NSOing, I took over Slaughter County announcing duties for the opening bout, which was sweet. That meant not only did I get to announce at the Showdown, but I was getting to announce the tournament opener between SCRV and Central Coast Roller Derby (Pasa Robles, Calif.)! I’m still honored to have been thought of highly enough to get that slot. Damn…a little derby in a year goes a long way! Got to work with the always awesome Bulldog again, so that was definitely a pleasure.Let me just say he yells at crowds well! lol

Ree ArrangHer throws a shoulder into Hill Fire of CCRD. Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

That bout was a great tournament opener too, highlighting the local SCRV All-Stars against one of the teams I found out the fewest about prior…lol.  SCRV made the most of it too, winning 224-159 in a pretty exciting opener despite the wider scoring margin. I always love getting the chance to announce for Slaughter County and this was no exception!

There's me announcing in the upper left...or trying to! lol Mics came on about half way through the first half... Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

Now here is where my first snafu or sorts came in.

So, when I had last gotten online to check my NSO responsibilities, I noticed I had Friday off (one of the reasons I got to announce Friday and not the other days). Well, sometime between me last checking and arriving in Bremerton, that changed. So while I was supposed to be score keeping the Oly Rollers bout with Rose City’s Wheels of Justice, I was getting wicked drunk and hollering things like, “We want JUUUUUSSSTIIICCCCCEEE!”

Drunky me! Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

Sorry everyone. I will be sure to check for last-minute scheduling changes at all future derby endeavors. Someone on the fly told the crew working that game that I was announcing. So, I got out of it without too much scorn. And I didn’t lie, so double bonus! But I still felt pretty bad about missing it. As much as I love to party with my derby, when I’m working, I take it seriously, so again, soarry aboot that buddies!

That bout, just let me say, was fucking epic. Rose City and Oly kept battling back and forth, with Oly earning a lead but the Wheels battling back, at one point closing the gap entirely to a 141-141 tie. Oly eventually went on to the 157-151 win, but they were sweating in their quads for a little bit over that one. Rose City showed it will be a player on the national scene again this year, a year after a disappointing showing at the regional tournament.

Blood Clottia goes up against B Tease N. Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

As many of you know, Rainy City and Rose City have some history, with skaters like Napalm Beth, Mercyful Kate and Miss Mel Mangles now on the Rose City docket. Throw in former Oly Roller JK Rolling, and you can see another layer of why this one was so intense!And why Rainy City’s <3′s WoJ so much! This is going to be a Western Regional rematch to watch out for kiddos!

Rainy City <3's WoJ THIIIIIIS much! Thanks Joe Rollerfan for the awesome pics!

Aside from the off-track action, it was awesome getting to meet so many people I’d chatted with online, particularly Hannah Grenade and Mia Cupcake, who are two of my favorite twitter friends. Now don;t get me wrong; I could fill a whole blog with the people I met and how cool everyone was, but alas, I have way too many blogs to catch up on to do that. So let me just give a blanket shout-out to everyone I got to meet there: “Hey y’all!”

There's Hannah Grenade now! Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

There were two clear off-the-track winners Friday night. If you were there, there’s no way you could have missed them. On this night, it was Crack Attack and Edie Disorder FTW! They embody drunkypants, and so I hear by declare them the first recipients of the Thurston Gore Drunkypants Award.

I should have gotten you guys a trophy, like this kid has.

You may know them by their sign-toting antics?

Edie holds sign while Crack points. What a team! Thanks Axle Adams for the awesome pics!

Well, those two are two of my favorite derby people for many, many reasons (here I should point out that Crack Attack is the newest derby girl roommate of our ever-evolving Rainy City house), but one of the foremost is their ability to singlehandedly win an afterparty. So you can just imagine them in tandem!

But Friday was but derby foreplay into the rest of the weekend, with Saturday kicking off some major morning-to-night derby action!

On Saturday, I had a pretty full slate, working the Arizona-Sin City, Pikes Peak-Lava City and Sacred City-Duke City games as a scorekeeper. Those were pretty awesome experiences as well, as I’d never seen Arizona or Sacred City and knew skaters on some of the other teams. But mostly, I was just excited for the Pacific NW skating return of DVS Dicer, a former Rainy City skater now jammin’ for Sin City in Las Vegas.

DVS Dicer returns! Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

Lava City has one of my favorite derby partiers as well, who I had the pleasure to meet at D-Day in the Desert last year, Petty Rage. And Duke City is just loaded with fun. So this was going to be a fun “work” day. Again, you can catch the deets at DNN.

Jet vs Duke! Thanks Joe Rollerfan for the awesome pics!

But the top matches Saturday were all a little bit of a let-down from a fan standpoint. Not for lack of action, as all teams skated their butts off on day two. But, there weren’t as many intensely close games as Friday’s main match had provided. Oly stood Philly up seemingly easily, Rose rebounded and stuck it to BAD (who seemed to have a lost a step since last year, although they totes maintain their amazing fashion and afterparty titles!), and Rocky Mountain blew out Bellingham. Still, it was lots of good-times-noodle-salad abound. I had a great time working with some of the different refs and crew, including getting to work each of my bouts along with Texas Hold Me, another of my fave NSOs in attendance.

Philly's Ginger Vitus floors Oly's Heffer 2Tons! Thanks Axle Adams for the awesome pics!

Sunday’s bouts however more than made up for anything that was lacking on Saturday. First, Rat City and Philly bouted, providing one of my favorites from the weekend. Two things. First, Carmen Getsome is a fucking badass. 25 points! In one jam! Against Philly! Late in the second half! To take the lead! And eventually the win! Holy crap! Second, I second the amazing work of HELLARAD in helping confirm that Anya Heels too is fucking badass. Rat City is a powerful team as well and they too, like WoJ, will be a force alongside the Colorado squads to challenge Oly’s western (and national) supremacy.

One of my favorite shots from the weekend of Randy Pan and Rat City. Thanks Joe Rollerfan for the awesome pics!

Then Philly and Rose City bouted, a bout that Rose City took over and won. If you had asked me which of the 19 teams coming to Bremerton would leave without a win, I would never in a million years have guessed Philly. Still, they battled their hearts out and are sure to do some good things this year. It was super awesome getting to chat up Ginger Vitis at the merch table for a little bit afterward too.

Mo Pain was one of several Philly badasses despite the Liberty Belles being blanked on the weekend. Thanks Sharkey for the awesome pics!

Sunday found me up in everyone’s box! Literally! I was penalty box timer for the Pacific-Sin City, Emerald City-Bellingham and Jet City-Pacific bouts. It was actually sweet cause between all those teams, I got to watch or work a crew for everyone but Rocky Mountain Sorry Rocky! Still, it was good times all around! Pacific was fun for me to see because Rainy City’s Chun Lethal (who formerly lived in our house) and Crack Attack both met a ton of them at Rollercon last year, so it was cool to put faces and names to stories! lol

Pacific jammer Collideascope goes through a Jet City wall with some blocking help. Thanks Joe Rollerfan for the awesome pics!

Couple of quick observations…Rocky Mountain, Rose City and Rat City all looked as good as ever. But it was Oly who, aside from the close bout with Rose City, proved they are still the team to beat in the western region. And while Philly didn’t win, they played the toughest schedule of anyone at the showdown. Mad props to all the other squads coming out too! Especially BAD…they played bad, but they also dress BAD.

Totally not from the Showdown, but it gets my point across.

That day also featured some of the more epic challenge bouts, like the Brawlyanna-led Bremalo Roller Cows. Awesome. Their logo is right up there with the Unicorn Punchers for me in terms of party teams.

The amazing logo of the Bremalo Roller Cows!

But perhaps the craziest part of the challenge bouts were seeing Ida B. Choazz of Spokane’s Lilac City Rollergirls up and skating. She broke her leg something like 5 weeks earlier at our Rainy City Black-and-White scrimmages. Crack Attack summed it up best in a line directed at me: “I don’t wanna hear you bitch about your leg anymore!” She was right. It was tough, but she probably shouldn’t have been out there. Still, gotta love the girls who love the sport that much! Talk about dedication!

The brats were out and about too scrimmaging, and provided one of those “I wish I were a kid again” moments for me when I was walking though the President’s Hall (the location for challenge bouts) and saw not one, not two, not three, but four Kitsap Derby Brats in a row sprint at full speed, take a knee but three feet before the wall, and willingly go barreling into said wall. It ended with the four in a giggly pile. Ah kids. And that’s what these brats do for fun?!?! Again, they will be scary when they come of legal skating age.

A SUPER BIG HUGE THANK YOU TO THE BADASSES OF SCRV!!! You guys put on a kick-ass event with so few skips. The effort and dedication put in was evident from the get-go! You guys did such a great job! Hopefully, we’ll get to see the Showdown back and better than ever next year!

I know I’m forgetting things, but give me a break. It was almost two months ago now. And I partied really hard. So, there it is.

You can actually relive all of the glory of the Showdown on DNN with their archived bouts too! If you like what you see, feel free to donate a few bucks to ‘em to keep the derby coming!

Also, big thanks to Masonite Burn, Joe Rollerfan and Axle Adams for letting me use various pics of theirs! We are blessed to have such awesome photographers covering the derby scene here out west, so make sure to check out their picture sets!

Short Track

Speaking of RollerCon, guess who has his ticket?!?! I’m super stoked! I will be there. The party can officially begin this year. As usual, come find me a say hi! Or thrust a shot in my face! I won’t say no!

Quick note…expect a couple blogs in the coming days…first, one will come in from the last Underground bout I was at, as well as a scrimmage between them and Rainy City. Another will come int he form of Rainy City taking down Atomic City a couple weeks back. And yet a third backlogged blog will focus on Rainy City giving the Heartless Heathers of Rose City all they could handle in a scrimmage last Friday. I will do my best to get these all out before April 15, when the Blood & Thunder Camp comes to Bremerton! And I’ll be there for that too. Whew. So expect the rest sooner than later!

Til then kiddies,

Word to your mommas.

Thurston!

Showdown in the Sound: Wild West Showdown Puts Slaughter County On Derby’s National Map

NOTE: So here is my preview on the Wild West Showdown, which ran last week in Thee Kitsap Smokestack. Since it came out, I figured I’d post it here too. Enjoy!

For a weekend in February, Bremerton, Wash., will become the center of the roller derby universe, as more than 20 teams from around the country converge on Kitsap County.

From national powerhouse the Philly Roller Girls, to the 2009 Women’s Flat Track Derby Association National Champion Oly Rollers, derby’s upper echelons will be battling it out in three days of knock-down, drag-out roller derby mayhem at the Wild West Showdown, hosted by Kitsap’s own Slaughter County Roller Vixens.

The wildest and westest of all showdowns!

“We’re totally excited,” Slaughter County’s Kitten with a Whip, one of the tournament organizers, said. “We met with the (Kitsap County) Fairgrounds and they’re excited for it. We’re excited to see some of the teams we never thought we would and to have the opportunity to play some of those teams.”

The tournament, which kicks off Friday, Feb. 26 with Slaughter County’s All-Stars battling Central Coast Roller Derby (Paso Robles, Calif.) and concludes Sunday, Feb. 28 with Everett’s Jet City Bombers taking on Hawaii Pacific Roller Derby (Honolulu), will bring together derby powers from around the country, but primarily teams in WFTDA’s Western Region. The region proved to be the best in the country last year, with the Oly Rollers toppling the legendary Texas Rollergirls’ Texecutioners, while fellow Western Regioners the Denver Roller Dolls and Rocky Mountain Roller Girls placed third and fourth respectively. Rocky Mountain (Denver) will also make the trip, as will fellow Colorado natives the Pikes Peak Derby Dames.

Overall, the tournament features seven of the nation’s top 16-ranked teams.

Also slated to attend the tournament are Pacific Northwest powers Rose City Rollers’ Wheels of Justice (Portland, Ore.) and the Rat City Roller Girls of Seattle. The Bellingham Roller Betties round out Washington’s players, while Oregon’s representatives are strengthen by the Lava City Roller Dolls (Bend, Ore.) and the Emerald City Roller Girls (Eugene, Ore.). Making the trip up from California are San Francisco’s Bay Area Derby Girls and Sacramento’s Sacred City Derby Girls, while the Sin City Rollergirls hail from Las Vegas.

Two more tournament contenders come from a little farther into the desert: Tucson Roller Derby and Arizona Roller Derby (Phoenix). New Mexico’s Duke City Derby also returns to the northwest.

So just how did Bremerton get selected to host the first major WFTDA-sanctioned event of 2010?

“Rat City had kind of mentioned the idea to us,” Kitten said. “And we were the one team that had the venue to support that (kind of tournament).”

The more the team thought about it, hosting the event became a no-brainer.

“We realized, ‘Wow, we’ve got this venue, so why don’t we host it?” she said.

Getting approval from WFTDA to hold sanctioned bouts was a must for Slaughter County.

“We wanted to make it so if they were going to take the time, that they were sanctioned,” Kitten said. “And that we had enough bouts.”

After finalizing the sanctioned bouts with WFTDA, a two-month process thanks to the national tournament coinciding, the focus turned towards the myriad non-WFTDA leagues in the Pacific Northwest. That led to securing the Fairgrounds’ President’s Hall for challenge bouts.

“This way everyone has the opportunity to enjoy this derby weekend,” Kitten said.

Tickets for the tournament are currently available and are sure to go fast as derby girls and fans from around the country are already buzzing about the competition. Tickets are $15 for Friday and $25 each for Saturday and Sunday. Three-day tickets are $55. They can be purchased online in advance through BrownPaperTickets. The tournament will take place at the Kitsap Sun Pavilion, as well as another of the President’s Hall. A variety of vendors and food will also be available. More teams could be added as well, as registration was slated through the end of January.

In addition to the sanctioned tournament, the challenge bouts will simultaneously be taking place, featuring skaters and teams from around the western U.S., as well as themed bouts and co-ed bouts.

As comes with any derby bout, there’s always an afterparty. But unlike normal (read=stellar) afterparties, this tournament has the potential to be among the mothers of all afterparties. Consider this: If an afterparty is as fun as they normally are, and that’s with two to four teams, imagine what happens when more than 20 teams of derby girls descend on Bremerton. In short, it will be out of control and amazingly fun. Slaughter County has already made preparations to ensure such an end.

The three days will split bar duties between the 19^th Hole and the Horse and Cow, both in neighboring Silverdale, and at Romeo’s in Bremerton. Check the tournament program for specifics on which bars are hosting the afterparty which nights. But fear not about driving. The league is running shuttles from the hotels, the pavilion, the afterparty locations and back again all weekend long.

“I’m just excited to see that many derby girls under one roof in my own town, “ Kitten said.

Now that you know a little more about the tournament itself, take a minute to get to know some of nation’s elite squads (in no particular order):

Philly Roller Girls

The Philly Roller Girls have long been considered one of the nation’s top five teams, a fact further proven in hosting the national tournament last year. And while they may not have had the showing many thought, falling to 128-121 to Cinderella’s Rocky Mountain, they twice defeated New York’s Gotham Roller Girls, 2008’s national champs, last season. The Liberty Belles and skaters like Robin Drugstores, Gloria Grindem and Teflon Donna will be eager to show that they still deserve to be considered among WFTDA’s elite. On day two, they’ll bout the Oly Rollers in what is arguably the tournament’s top bout. Philly is ranked No. 6 in the country by the Derby News Network and are ranked No. 2 in the East Region by WFTDA.

Oly Rollers

No one gave Olympia’s Oly Rollers much credit as a derby team in 2009, as it paid of big time. The Cosa Nostra Donnas stepped up to every challenge they faced last season, resulting ultimately in hoisting The Hydra, WFTDA’s championship trophy. Loaded with talent and speed, including national speedskaters like Atomatrix, Sassy, Tannibal Lector and Heffer, named MVP of last year’s nationals, Oly proved they have what it takes to challenge the nation’s best, beating Gotham, Texas and Denver en route to the crown. Their opening-round battle with Rose City is sure to be one of the Wild West Showdown’s gems. Oly enters 2010 as DNN’s No. 1 team nationally. WFTDA also has them slated as No. 1 in the West.

Rocky Mountain Rollergirls

Rocky Mountain were one of the national scene’s Cinderella stories a season ago, beginning when former Pike’s Peak trio Deranged, Psycho Babble and Ecko Girl joined the squad prior to the 2009 WFTDA Western Regional tournament, strengthening a team that already included skaters like Whipity Pow and Frida Beater. They ended up thumping Tucson, Rose City and Denver before running into Oly, ultimately preceding a fourth-place finish at nationals. While their first bout will be against Bellingham Saturday, in will be Sunday’s bout with Bay Area that fans will be waiting for. DNN ranks Rocky Mountain No. 5 in the nation, while WFTDA slates them at No. 3 in the West.

Rose City Rollers

Rose City was disappointed in their 2009 finish, falling to seventh place at the Western Regional a year after co-hosting the national tournament with Rat City in Portland. But with a strengthened Wheels of Justice roster including Blood Clottia, Hurricane Skatrina, Napalm Beth, Mercyful Kate, Miss Mel Mangles and a number of equally talented skaters, Rose City will want to use this tournament to prove they belong in the national discussion. In their opener Friday against Oly, they’ll get a rematch of last year’s 157-151 loss to Oly that kick-started the Oly Rollers rise to prominence. But that’s just the first of many challenges, as they have arguably the toughest slate at the Showdown, also battling Bay Area and Philly before the weekend is over. Rose City is ranked No. 8 by DNN entering 2010, while WFTDA puts them in at No. 5 in the West Region.

Slaughter County Roller Vixens

Becoming a WFTDA-sanctioned league a year ago (and debuting against the Oly Rollers), Slaughter County has wasted no time showing they belong, ultimately proven in hosting this year’s Wild West Showdown. And while they’ll have their hands full in opponents Central Coast and Tucson, it’s a great opportunity to show where they are against squads outside the Northwest. And with skaters like On’Da Sligh, Brawlyanna, Rollin’ Dirty, Anna Barbera and more, they have the size and speed to pack a serious punch. And, with home-field advantage, the Kitsap derby faithful should be on hand to catch SCRV in what amounts to two of their biggest bouts to date. WFTDA has Slaughter County ranked 13^th in the West Region.

Central Coast Roller Derby

In all honesty, not much by way of their results exists online, so its tough to say exactly what Slaughter County will be up against. But judging by their 2010 schedule (which includes bouts against fellow Showdown participants Sacred City and Emerald City as well as Los Angeles’ Angel City Derby Girls), they’re up for the challenge (they also bouted Bay Area last year).

Rat City Rollergirls

Rat City sprung onto the national scene in 2007 and 2007 by twice finishing second at the national championships. They just missed out on a tourney appearance last year, placing fourth at the Western Regional, beating Bay Area before falling to both Oly and Denver. But veteran forces like Carmen Getsome, Billie Boilermaker, Re-Animate-Her, Anya Heels and a host of other Northwest derby household names are going to among the Showdown’s most battled-tested teams. While they host Tucson on Friday, a Sudnay bout with Philly will be another of the tournament’s most touted bouts. WFTDA ranks Rat City as No. 4 in the West, while DNN has Rat City ranked ninth in the nation.

Tucson Roller Derby

Tucson had perhaps the toughest opening bout of anyone at last year’s regional tournament, taking on Rocky Mountain, seeded prior to its aforementioned additions. But despite losing to both Rocky Mountain and Duke City, Tucson rebounded with a one-sided 185-91 doubling-up of Pikes Peak to finish ninth. They did finish second place at the Western Regionals in 2007 however to earn a berth at nationals. Skaters like Whiskey Mick and Sassy Sue were among the league’s founding members in 2003, joining up with Arizona and the Texas Rollergirls to host the first modern inter-state bout in 2004. Current skaters like Deadlock Doe Holliday and Helen Wheels only enhance their ability to ad to their history. After Rat City on Friday, they’ll battle hosts Slaughter County Saturday. Tucson is ranked No. 9 in the West by WFTDA.

Emerald City Rollergirls

Making the trip up from Eugene, Ore., Emerald City is quite familiar with a number of the teams at the Wild West Showdown. This should only help the Emerald City Skatesaphrenics as they prepare to take on Central Coast and Bellingham at the Showdown. Bellingham topped Emerald City at Knocktoberfest last October (a tournament hosted by the Rainy City Roller Dolls in Centralia) 84-76 in the 30-minute bout, eventually taking third place by beating SCRV’s Death Rattle Rollers. Skaters like Ambrusia and Surly Q, along with Rocka Rolla, Rex Havoc, Pow Wow and more, will be eager to avenge last season’s loss to the Betties.

Arizona Roller Derby

Arizona Roller Derby is another that helped usher in the new wave of the sport, also forming in 2003. And while AZRD had a tough go last season, it was against some top-flight competition, falling to teams like Pikes Peak and Angel City. However, they beat Sin City last season 95-82, so you know skaters like Rayna Rage, Deez Nutz and Gratuitous Violet can hang with the Showdown pack, especially considering their first tourney bout is going to be again Sin City. They’ll battle Lava City on Sunday. Arizona is ranked No. 12 in the West by WFTDA.

Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls

Sin City has had a rough go in WFTDA-sanctioned bouts, having gone on a 10-game skid since 2007 in such battles. But having lost several of those battles narrowly, like against Arizona last year, they’ll be eager to test their mettle with some strong new additions alongside some of their vets. And while their all-star roster isn’t yet announced, you can bet they’ll be motivated, with Arizona their first bout at the Wild West Showdown. Following that, they’ll face Hawaii Pacific on Sunday. WFTDA has Sin City checking in at No. 15 in the West Region rankings.

Duke City Derby

Making the trip up from New Mexico (their skater base is largely from Albuquerque and Santa Fe), Duke City was one of 2008’s top stories, earning a trip to nationals after a huge regional victory over then-reigning national champs Kansas City. Led by Kamikaze Kim, the Munecas Muertas feature a number of talented skaters, including Muffin, Miss E. Vil and Amanda Jammitinya. They’ll battle Jet City in their first bout, which should be interesting, as Duke narrowly lost to a Rose City Axles of Annihilation team that Jet City just topped. They’ll also do battle with Sacred City, with both those bouts slated for Saturday. They finished 2009 ranked 16^th after falling to Oly, beating Tucson and eventually falling 105-103 to Bay Area to finish sixth at regionals last year. WFTDA places Duke City at No. 7 in the West.

Jet City Rollergirls

Everett’s Jet City Bombers are another team eager to improve on a strong 2009 finish. Hungry for a regional berth, the Bombers will look to use this tournament as a benchmark on the path to meeting that end. In addition to opening against Duke City, they’ll also battle Hawaii Pacific. Jet City will rely on skaters like Precious N Metal, Connie Torturous, Molly Python and Mona Agony, among others, especially since they’ll be without Re-Animate-Her, who now skates with Rat City. As stated above, they take a big win against Rose City’s AoA as momentum into the coming season.

Bay Area Derby Girls

San Francisco’s B.A.D. Girls were right there with Rat City and Rose City as nationals hopefuls from a year ago, but like their counterparts, fell just short. But also like the others, they had much to be happy with from their regional showing. Bay Area lost a tough fight with Rat City before topping Pikes Peak. They then beat out Duke City for fifth at the tourney and finished 2009 ranked 15^th by DNN. Skaters like Taxi Scab, Demanda Riot, Sassy Slayer and Co. are another that hope to get a jump start on 2010 at the Wild West Showdown. After opening against Hawaii Pacific  then Rose on Saturday, then get a battle with Rocky Mountain Sunday that should be another Showdown highlight. BAD is No. 6 in the West according to WFTDA.

Bellingham Roller Betties

The Bellingham Roller Betties may be one of the tournaments more underrated teams. While they may not pack the big national-level wins of some of their WFTDA competitors, the Betties have some serious talent in the form of skaters like Chaos Fury, Walker Texas Mangle’her, Beretta Garbo, Helen Damnation, Tulla Jit and many more. As previously stated, they beat Emerald City last October, and will use that as motivation in facing Rocky Mountain on Saturday, their toughest bout at the Showdown, before rematching Emerald City Sunday.

Hawaii Pacific Roller Derby

The Hawaii Pacific league has been one growing since splitting from the Honolulu Derby Girls in 2008. After growing enough to sport two homes teams and an all-star team, they’re ready to start challenging their mainland derby sisters. They hosted the San Diego Derby Dames (and fell 108-81) last year, proving they can battle with solid teams. They’ll get another chance to prove that at the Showdown, as they battle Bay Area, Jet City and Sin City in three bouts that should give them a good read on where there are beginning 2010.

Lava City Roller Dolls

Skating out of Bend, Ore., Lava City is another that has familiarity with teams like Emerald City and Rose City thanks to their geography. Last year, Lava City’s Cinder Kittens just fell to Slaughter County 59-56 at the Atomic Rollergirls-hosted D-Day in the Desert tourney. Unfortunately, their next bout wasn’t as close, with Atomic getting its first ever win at Lava’s expense (however, it wasn’t all-star teams). That said, they should be another that teams would be wise not to overlook. They also have an uphill battle at the Showdown, facing Pikes Peak Saturday and Arizona on Sunday.

Pikes Peak Derby Dames

Just as Colorado Springs’ Pikes Peak seemed to be gaining momentum nationally, Pikes saw three of their biggest names transfer to Rocky Mountain. But teams at the Showdown can’t overlook Pikes skaters like Kamilla BloodSpilla, Fanny Fister, Hawaiian Punch and Count Smacula. And while a big prospective bout against Rocky Mountain won’t be happening, Pikes will still have its hands full with Lava City Saturday and Sacred City Sunday. WFTDA ranks Pikes Peak No. 10 in the West Region.

Sacred City Derby Girls

Sacramento’s Sacred City Sacrificers may be last here, but they’ll certainly be among the pack. In addition to the Showdown, where they’ll take on Duke City Saturday and Pikes Peak Sunday, they’ll take on teams like Bay Area and Angel City in 2010. Another squad the opposition would be wise not to underestimate, the Sacrificers are a scrappy squad that will fight until the final whistle. WFTDA ranks Sacred City No. 11 in the West.

UPDATED: Now That’s What I Call a Season Opener!

UPDATE: I forgot to mention a few things and a couple more were pointed out to me. You’ll find them below in italics. Thanks yo!

NOTE: Super big thanks to Terminal City photog and outstanding Canadian Nicolas Charest for the awesome bout photos. He knows lighting. He knows depth of field. He knows derby. So get to know him and visit his site on RollerGirl.ca. It’ll be worth your while. Thanks again!!!

I have to tip my hat to the Slaughter County Roller Vixens. Every time we go out there for a bout, the production runs smooth, the action is always intense. It makes it easy to see why they’re hosting such an amazing tournament coming up in February (more on this toward the end).

Saturday, Jan. 16 proved to be no exception, providing an incredible opening night for all teams involved as the Crackers (a Rainy City Roller Dolls party-mix team) battled the vastly improved Death Rattle Rollers, the Terminal City Roller Girls traveled south to battle the Terrormedixxx, and even the brats got involved, with the Kitsap Derby Brats hosting Spokane’s Atomic Pixies.

I was super excited for this bout for several reasons. First, as a fan, the offseason is just too damn long. Shoot, as a fan, ANY offseason is too long! I may be kidding, but there is truth in those derby withdrawls. But yes, before it comes flooding in, I know skaters need the break. But again, the fan in me needs derby…all the time. And this was finally the return of that much needed action!

Plus, there's Coach Crack's amazing get-up. Lifted this one from Scott's facebook page. Thanks dude!

Also, since I didn’t begin getting into derby until last season, this was my first official season opener for any team or league, and, almost perfectly, the one-year anniversary of my first bout. So that’s cool. Throw in the fact that just about all my derby cherries were broken between Rainy City and Slaughter County and it just gets better. Plus, I had never gotten to see junior derby before. And I haven’t even gotten to whiskey yet!

Now’s a good time to say that while I was not working this bout, in the NSO sense of the word, I was workin’ this bout in the drunkypants great-times sense of the word. So my details aren’t as detailed as normal, my voice is much more hoarse and my sense are still overloaded. So take that shot of tequila with a few dozen grains of salt.

CRACKERS vs. DEATH RATTLE ROLLERS

I was already pretty excited about this bout, as mentioned above, and the excitement was well justified right from the beginning. The aptly named Crackers (Crack Attack became Coach Crack for this bout, not skating herself) featured both Crack Attack and line coach Josh Bomb’s coaching debuts, the return of Deathrose and D.O.G.G. E. Style, and featured a host of Rainy City skaters getting their first in-bulk bout experience.

Coming in, I had heard a lot about how much better DRR had been skating since last season, how great some of their practices had gone. Throw in skaters like Skate Oddity, Roll-Model, Edie Disorder and Squid Viscous from the Cherry City Derby Girls (Salem, Ore.), and you’ve got one heck of a scrappy squad.

Deathrose tries to get around Edie Disorder. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

This one started all DRR too. DRR was being way more physical, thanks to the efforts of skaters like Slamber, Rude E. Gorland, Miss Direction and more. Bashley Blaze and Speedy Gun Haul-Ass held down the jamming line for the Rollers, as did Scuttlebutt Jibber Jabber. Meanwhile, the Crackers weren’t hitting, weren’t watching the opposing jammer and weren’t being the Rainy City team known for its hard hits and physical style of play.

The result? A hard-earned and well-deserved 34-point lead for the Death Rattle Rollers at the half (these are the details, like halftime score, my drunk pen-forgetting ass should have written down, but didn’t).

As a Rainy City fan first and foremost however, I was pissed. In my green Crackers shirt, I probably looked like I was about to Hulk it a couple times… Instead, I one-crutch hobbled my buzzed-and-fumin’ ass over to the Crackers locker room at the half to deliver a message: HIT SOMEONE!

Now, to be clear, I’m not claiming any part of what happened next. I was merely a pissed off superfan that had to get that off my chest. They did, however, start hitting.

The second half was like night and day for the Crackers. Within the first five or 10 minutes of the half, the lead was already cut down to something lik 88-80 DRR. The Crackers were on a war path and it showed.

Slaughter Kinney goes after Bashley Blaze. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

With something like 1:55 left, the Crackers ended up tying up the score at 109-109. DRR wasn’t about to just let them have it either, as both teams picked up the intensity. In fact, it was so freaking tense I don’t even remember who jammed last. All I know is when it was said and done, the Crackers came away with four more points in that final jam, just edging DRR 113-109.

Holy crap.

Another insanely close finish. Now, just to show you how far DRR has come, I saw them skate a few times. They lost to the Trampires 70-32 in a minibout at Dockyard vs. the Northwest in July (Rainy City lost by 4 to the Trampires 145-141 in August). At Knocktoberfest, Rainy City beat DRR a whopping 109-26 en route to the title. So you can really see exactly how far DRR has come in a single offseason. True, Rainy City has lost some skilled skaters too, but DRR looked like a team with a chip on its shoulder in this one (look at that use of cliche action!).

Poise N Bury gets a hand from D.O. into Speedy Gun Haul-Ass. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

For the Crackers, it was a good opportunity to get some skaters some bout action. Both Iatarainbo, Mambo Boom, and Violent Baudelaire made their true debuts, while others like Chun Lethal and NayK 47, and Mambo Boom saw some of the most action they have yet. Nic Fit and Bruiseanne Con-Her (formerly Maxxxine McFiercen), both saw, and made good use of, solid track time as well. It was to be the debut of Vi-Kerious and another round of bout experience for Bella Sol, but late injuries kept them from skating (but fear not, neither injury is super serious, so both should be back in action in no time.

Overall, as was expected, the results were mixed. Both The newbies (Iatarainbo, Mambo Boom and Violent Baudelaire) performed very, very well, especially Iatarainbo, who upon gaining more understanding of the rules and game itself, should develop into a top jamming threat for Rainy City. Baudelaire stepped up in the second half, looking more comfortable especially in the physical side of the game. That was also true of Lethal, Nay K and Boom, who were much more aggressive in the second half (particularly Lethal, who floored the jammer with a nice one in the second half). Speaking of Lethal, it was also her brother’s debut, ref Pat A. Hoedown. He also did a great job in his debut, showing he’s not afraid to step right in with some solid crews and make an impact (he’ll be primarily reffing out of Lilac City). Nice job Hoedown!

Pat A. Howdown reffing on the right of the pack. Stole this from Voilent's facebook page, so I don't know who shot it. Thanks though!

As for the usual suspects, it was the usual results. Slaughter Kinney was one of the top blockers yet again, and it was great to see D.O. lined back up with her for a couple jams. D.O., lost for the bulk of last season to the 9-month injury, didn’t take more than  jam or two to get back into a groove. And while Toot A. Lou and Lucyville Slugger did a nice job jamming, it was Deathrose holding down the jammer line all night. In her first bout back since moving to California and back, Deathrose continued to build on her early successes last year.

Lucyville blinded by the light. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

And while we’ve identified the top blocker and jammer on the night for the Crackers, it might have been Poise N. Bury who had the top all-around game. She has continued to evolve her game on the track and her knowledge of what needs to be done in particular situations. At the same time, she’s cut down her trips to the box. And on Saturday, it all added up nicely.

Poise N the box! With Jack Officer. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

Ultimately, I was most pleased about two things from this bout from a Rainy City bend: 1) The Crackers’ undying desire to fight back; and 2) the overall play of the newer/less-experienced skaters combined with the continued maturation and improvement of the team’s vets. It’s gonna be a fun season for Rainy City fans.

TERMINAL CITY vs. TERRORMEDIXXX

Another bout I was really looking forward to, having seen both skate very, very well last year. Of course, Rainy City beat TMX in one of the last season’s most epic bouts, while I was fortunate enough to catch Terminal for the first time against the Oly Rollers’ Prima Donnas.

So this was sure to be another nail-biter.

Ree Arrangher gets a push from the pack. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

By this time, I was pretty drunkypants and celebrating with Rainy City, so my details on how this bout unfolded are hazy throughout. But in the end, it was another extremely tight contest, with Terminal City getting the drop on TMX by another narrow margin – 116-113. Total team efforts by both squads kept this one back and forth from the getgo.

For TMX, everyone who hit the floor played very, very well. On’Da Sligh was jamming up a storm again, as was co-captain Ree Arrangher. Brawlyanna was joined in the huge hits department by Rollin Dirty, Anna Barbera, BrandiFurious and others.

Sligh almost outskated her shadow even. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

But the TMXer whose name I kept hearing throughout the bout by the announcers, and deservedly so, was Leanderthal. She had a great all-around game for TMX in this one.

As for the Terminal City All-Stars, 8Mean Wheeler was her stellar self, as was Shift Kicker and Luludemon. I was also very impressed by Barra Couga, RollerGirl and Trixi Trippin Chix. They too played a great team game and matched up well with TMX across the board.

8Mean Wheeler just avoids the pile-up. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

One thing I will say is that I thought (and again, I was drunky) that both teams scored points at the end in the last jam. Anyone with a clearer recollection care to chime in? Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that two awesome teams met and battled epically.

Just as in the last week’s Underground opener, both of these bouts could be played again tomorrow and could have come out with a Kitsap sweep. That’s just how good all these skaters are.

So, sorry again for the lack of detail in this one. Don’t blame me. Blame Jim Beam for being delicious.

You did this to me Jim.

I don’t often get to drink, kick back and enjoy bouts very often anymore (usually I’m NSOing, announcing or diligently working the camera and notepad), so this was a PERFECT way to kick off my 2010 derby season, considering I won’t get too many more opportunities to do so later.

KITSAP DERBY BRATS vs. ATOMIC PIXIES

I was more tuned in for this one, as I was scorekeeping the junior derby action that took place at the true halftime of this event between the Kitsap Derby Brats and the Atomic Pixies (of Spokane). Affiliated with the Lilac City Rollergirls, they even have a junior all-star team beginning! It’s great to see the sport growing so rapidly amongst the younger ranks!

The Brat Pack. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

This was the first time I’ve gotten to see an actual junior derby bout and holy cow, these girls are gonna kick some serious ass come legal age time! When they can skate on the regular teams, it’s gonna revolutionize the sport similarly to how speedskating and hockey skating have. It’s gonna be a whole new ballgame.

But for now, they’re still too young. But that doesn’t make them any less skilled or feisty than their full-grown counterparts.

I don’t remember the final score (LOL) but I know early on, the Brats were thumping the Pixies pretty good thanks to the efforts of skaters like Mutch Mayhem and Champ Pain.  The Pixies battled back behind Karakin Skulls, Ivanna Czokabich and, on loan from the Seattle Derby Brats, Alexacutor and Lilly Lighting, making it close in the second half (they played two 15-minute halves), but Kitsap still held out for the win.

Seattle's Alexacutor, skating with Atomic, gets by Champ Pain. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

My two that really stood out though? For one, Whamsday Adams. I knew she’d be good (her mom is DRR coach Jenocidal) and I’d seen her skate a little, score presenting some Rainy City bouts even. But wow, she’s got the complete package. She can hit hard, she’s vocal, she’s smart and she reacts very quickly. Very dangerous combo.

Whamsday is as good as this shot makers her look. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

The other, Vanna Fright, the Tiniest Jammer. She couldn’t be more than 12 years old or so going up against some much, much larger teenagers and she never shied away. She was easily the smallest frame on the floor (like, watch-out-or-you’ll-step-on-her small), but skated with more heart than I’ve seen some in some adult skaters. It’s that kind of determination at such a young age that’s going to change EVERYTHING about the sport in years to come. I can’t wait to see the day!

Vanna Fright, the Tiniest Jammer. Thanks Nicolas Charest for the bad ass shots!

Great job to all the junior skaters though. I may have called out a few I remember busting big plays or such, but they all have skill. Derby is in a good place with the up-and-comers up and coming.

Short Track

Wow. What more to say after that? Well, a few things actually.

First off (and I meant to post this in last week’s blog), please join me in wishing Elwood Bruise well, as he should be arriving in Tulsa, Oklahoma today to begin his reign as head coach of the WFTDA-sanctioned Green Country Roller Girls. Elwood, who’s blog All Bout Derby you may have heard of , has been instrumental in my succeeding with this blog as well, and from the very beginning. I simply sent him a message one day, asking questions about derby and covering derby, taking stats, all that kind of stuff. From the opening reply, he’s been nothing but helpful, making himself available to me as a derby resource round the clock. I was lucky enough to meet up with them all the Seattle Thunderbirds game almost two weeks ago (my first pro hockey game despite being a hockey fan since 2000), later partying at Skate Pauli Girl and Cop A. Phil’s T-Town pad til about 4 in the morning or so. Truly how any send off should end!

Elwood’s impact on the NW Derby scene is far and wide, and from day one, I’ve never pretended to reach as many people as he did or have the kind of impact he has, and will continue to have, on the sport. And that’s for one simple reason above all others. You don’t replace an Elwood Bruise.

So please, join me once again in saluting this great champion for the sport and wishing him the best of luck in his new digs. You’re gonna do badass coach Bruise!

OK…this weekend, Elwood’s home league, the Dockyard Derby Dames of Tacoma will be hosting a bout to benefit the Lakewood Police Independent Guild and honor the memories of the force’s fallen officers to tragedy all too recently.

Derby for a cause in Tacoma Sunday.

It’s $10 as a suggest donation at the Pierce College Health Ed Center. If you can make it, do it! It’s great derby for a great cause! I believe they’re doing this one intraleague, but you never now who’s libel to show up.

Also on the horizon at the end of this month is the Rainy City Black and White Scrimmages! These are always a blast and tons of girls and guys (that’s right…it’s co-ed) show up from the PacNW to take place. This year should be just a good.

Do it.

So ya. Come to that.

But there’s one date you have to circle and circle now, as tickets I’m sure are going fast. For the first time, Rainy City is battling the Oly Rollers, as RCRD gets ready for the Dropkick Donnas (formerly the Prima Donnas) on Valentine’s Day. Awwwwwwww.

Breaking hearts and body parts.

Don’t be fooled though. These girls may look sweet and precious, but they’d kick your ass. And my ass just for saying it. Seriously though, this bout is going to be extremely fun, if not for the Oly-Rainy City battle, then also for the fact that Oly’s newest team, the Bella Donnas (freshmeat and newer skaters) will be going up against Edie Disorder, Skate Oddity and the rest of the Cherry City Derby Girls. Good times! And besides. We all know you have nothing better to do on Valentine’s Day.

Then there’s also this little tournament coming up, the Wild West Showdown. I’ll link it, but I’m gonna tease you with that for now.

So word up kids…derby is back in session!

Thurston

Underground Derby Kicks Off First Full Season

After beginning late last derby season, Underground Derby League (out of Olympia, Wash.) finally got to celebrate a season-opener.

The league, a split from the Oly Rollers late last season, also consists of former Ft. Lewis Bettie Brigade skaters. Along with a host of fresh faces, they set out to prove one thing: They’re ready now.

Underground has already built four league teams: The Oly Outlaws, the South Bay Bombers, the Diva Derby Dolls and the Rolling Regulators. And while talent ranges from exceptionally good to still pretty fresh on each team, an all-star team out of this league could hang with just about anyone.

But that’s what this season opener was all about; letting everyone know just where they are, and just where they want to go.

The league hosted its opener on Sunday, Jan. 10 at Skateland in Oly, doing a mini-tournament format among its four teams to see which can call itself the best early.

Now, I had heard from some people that saw their bout late last season that many of the skaters were still very green – like, shouldn’t-be-bouting-yet-cause-of-injury-concern green. So I went in with tempered expectations. And I left very pleasantly surprised. Everyone who was skating was at least minimally bout ready, but the vast majority are ready and ready now.

The opening bout saw the Outlaws battle the Bombers. Things began innocently enough, with Bomber jammer Lil Tonka getting a 3-0 edge. But then the hits started flying. Outlaw Tiffinator laid out Bomber jammer Naughty Mommy en route to a 4-3 split for the Outlaws (making it 6-4 Bombers overall). The Bombers would hold that lead for a long time, but not easily.

The jams stayed close, with a lot of scores ranging from 3-0 and 4-0 either way to 8-7 and 9-7 either way. Ultimately, the Bombers built up a 66-60 lead late into the bout thanks to two from Naughty Mommy, despite starting the jam in the box, to three points for Outlaw Anaconda.

But then things got interesting.

With time winding down, the Outlaws knew they had to make a move, so the blockers got feisty. Tamazon and Rapunzel laid huge hits on Bomber jammer Brennocalypse Now, opening the door for Outlaw jammer Miss Match to take of for 16 points, giving the Outlaws their first lead at 76-69.

But then, with Krazie jamming for the Bombers alongside her Outlaw counterpart Anaconda, the Bombers regained control. Bomber Dirty Disgrace was one of several holding Anaconda at bay, eventually frustrating her enough to force a penalty, sending Anaconda to the box. Then, Krazie handed the jammer cap off to Lil Tonka, and between them, went on a 20-0 run to regain the lead 89-76.

With one more shot, and Anaconda starting in the box for the Outlaws, Stealth Blond Bomber avoided Outlaw blockers long enough for a grand slam. By the time Anaconda returned to the track, it was simply too late. The Bombers held onto the win 98-83.

That brought up the other half of the first round (and my only real gripes of the night). This one set the Divas up against the Regulators.

Very first jam. Bad Medicine toeing the jammer line for the Divas against KlonDyke of the Regulators. Good opening defense by the Regulators’ blockers leads to a 13-0 Regulator lead after one. KlonDyke is sent to the box near the end of the jam.

Second jam. This time Diva jammer Scandela busts out 10 uncontested points before KlonDyke returns from the box, unable to tack any points on herself. So, it should be Regulators 13, Divas 10.

So then tell me why the scoreboard read 23-2? Then 25-2. Then 26-2, all in favor of the Divas? I know there’s not some greater pro-Diva conspiracy at hand. Truth be told, almost all, if not all of the NSOs were working their first bouts. So it’s likely just a simple error on their part, but one that would greatly impact the outcome of this bout.

Despite the disparity in points (which I’m guessing the Regulators didn’t notice based on the lack of argument around it), the Regulators battled back, with RR’s Foxy Blocker picking up 12 points to Diva Lil Miss Stuffit’s 3. That made it 29-14 and kept the Regulators within striking distance.

The bout pretty much went back and forth at that point, with the Diva’s holding on to that lead. Then, in the 10th jam, after Foxy helped the Regulators within 7 at 40-33, she stayed in to jam again, this time against Scandela. Foxy made the most of it, flooring Scandela herself en route to a 8-4 advantage. With three more from Gloria Sass in the next jam, the Regulators found themselves tied up at 44-44 with the Divas.

The Regulators went back to Foxy Blocker at teh jam line next, who found herself skating against Bad Medicine. This time is was Medicine’s turn to step up for the Divas, logging four points to Foxy’s one, putting the Divas back up 48-45. Scandela and Lil Miss Stuffit each added points, making it 59-49 Divas heading into the final jam. Foxy Blocker remained busy, capping the night for the Regulators with four straight turns as jammer (although she was sent to the box for one jam, resulting in her jamming in the subsequent jam.

This was the jam everyone was waiting for. Lined up against Diva Jacky Oh Nasty, Foxy was again physical right off the starting line, earning her a head start of sorts and lead jammer status. And while she racked up 16 points, Jacky got through for seven. That’s right kids…the Divas held on 66-65.

Now that score is actually very indicative of the talent levels on these teams, as no one team of the four stood out greatly against the others. However, with that 13 points they should have had (that it appeared the Divas got credit for), it could have been something more like 78-53 Regulators.

Again, it was the first time for these NSOs and some of the ref crew as well (aided by Rainy City Roller Doll Killer B and Slaughter County Roller Vixen Brawlyanna in their reffing debuts), and everyone makes mistakes. But had I been on a team from Idaho or Oregon or something, come all the way out to play and then lost by a point after that, I’d be pretty upset. Another reason this bout is a great opener for everyone, not just skaters. And for teh most part, that was really the only major scoring gaffe on the night.

So, that set up a final bout between the Divas and the Bombers, both teams itching to take the lead position for the league as the season begins. But both teams controlled their nerves well, playing smart and defensive strategies that kept this bout much more low-scoring than its two predecessors.

Illustrating this was the scoreboard itself. After Scandela logged a fast four for the Divas, she called it off quick, making it 4-0 Divas. Scores then went like this: 8-8, 11-8 Divas, 15-14 Divas, 18-15 Bombers, 19-18 Divas, 22-22, 27-22 Divas (that one was thanks to a big grand slam by Bad Medicine), then 29-27 Bombers (this one thanks to Naughty Mommy, who overcame starting in the box to put up a 7-0 differential). Krazie then logged another 5 for the Bombers, calling it off after a quick grand slam of her own, to make it 34-27. That score held, thanks to great defensive blocking on both sides, for the final two jams.

So after it was all said and done, it was the South Bay Bombers getting a leg up on their interleague competition and early bragging rights in the league’s first full season.

Each team had lots of reasons to be happy however. The skill levels for each team are very comprable. Should this tourney happen again tomorrow, you could have entirely different scores and results. This should also make their travel team, the Death Dealers, one to watch for come travel season.

There were many skaters that left me impressed.

For the Oly Outlaws, Anaconda, Miss Match, Rapunzel and Tiffinator come to mine specifically. With a good core mix of blockers and jammers, they’ll only mesh more ont he track as teh season moves forward.

For the South Bay Bombers, Lil Tonka and Krazie really made an impression on me as jammers, Tonka especially. And with help from teammates like Chronic MasterSkater, Dirty DisGrace, Stealth Blond Bomber and Malice in Wonderland, it’s no wonder they came out on top in a close tournament.

The Diva Derby Dolls will only benefit from the continued improvement of already strong skaters like Bad Medicine, Jacky Oh Nasty, JP Snatches, Scandela and SheBites.

The same can be said for the Rolling Regulators, with Foxy Blocker, Gloria Sass, Junie B. Jonesin, KlonDyke and more.

But again, the greatest overall impression I left with Sunday night was the overall talent level of the league as a whole, not just individual skaters. It should be a lot of fun to watch this league as it grows.

Short Track

One note after watching the tournament I’d like to say to the refs (well, let’s be honest, to one ref specifically; I didn’t get the name). If you are a jam ref, WATCH YOU F**KING JAMMER!?!?!?! At times I felt like I was taking crazy pills as I watched this ref watch the pack, then the NSOs, then something shiny, but RARELY HIS JAMMER! That should be your No. 1 priority as a jam ref, and I know that at least four MAJOR cutting penalties were missed because he didn’t see them. How do I know he didn’t see them? Because I did, and when they weren’t called, I’d look at him and he’d be looking somewhere else completely. As a rules geek and derby fan, this is SOOOOOO frustrating to watch and it certainly impacts the outcome of the bouts. So, to any and all refs out there (who by and large and nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for), please watch your jammer when jam reffing. Pretty pretty please!

OK.

With that out of the way, you should come to Bremerton this weekend as Rainy City debuts a party team under skater-turned-coach-for-a-bout Crack Attack: The Crackers! It should be an epically fun time as Rainy City will have several skaters in their first bouts, or in other cases, seeing the most significant action they have on the track yet. They’ll be bouting Slaughter County’s Death Rattle Rollers, always a fun team to skate against, as the undercard to the night’s main event: The Terrormedixxx versus the Terminal City Rollergirls of Vancouver, B.C.

Crackers yo!

Two of my favorite non-Rainy City teams going toe to toe? Gah! Who to root for? It’s gonna be epic fun. And as if that wasn’t enough action, the Kitsap Derby Brats will be putting on a halftime exhibition (and I’ll be scorekeeping that one…woot!). But yes, it’s this Saturday at the Kitsap Fairgrounds Pavilion. You can get more info about it here.

If you’re gonna be down in Portland, make sure you check out the Rose City Rollers season debut too, and send my undying derby love to Miss Mel Mangles and the Guns N’ Rollers, who are prepping for a year of derby domination!

Rollercon 2009! I wasn’t there!

But you can bet your ass I will be next year!

After hearing numerous tales of derby and debauchery from Rollercon 2009, I’ve decided to start scrimping and saving, hoping that in a year’s time I too will return home from Las Vegas with my own slew of sensational and salacious stories, and hopefully nothing more.

Herpes does not stay in vegas.

Of course I’ve been familiar with the annual derby lovefest in the city of sin since reading about last year’s in Blood & Thunder. From the action on the streets to the raucous party scene of life after dark, I too long to see the sunrise, while wasted with whiskey in hand, at 7:30 a.m. And I will. Oh I will.

A few of the Rainy City Roller Dolls made the trip down, including veterans Miss Mel Mangles and Crack Attack as well as fresh meat Chun Lethal. They joined thousands of other derby girls and supporters for Rollercon, which includes scrimmages, clinics, vendors, Vegas…just about anything and everything derby!

they'll even airbrush your derby attire, as modeled here by Crack Attack and Chun Lethal.

So, while I didn’t get to make the trip, I’ve been living vicariously for a week and a half. And if that’s reaffirmed anything, it’s that this will be me next year:

My goal next year.

In the meantime, check out recaps here, here, here and here (as well as tons of other places I’m sure; also, don’t forget the comments sections!) to see what went down at this year’s Rollercon-tastic summer party!

Short Track

Next weekend marks my return to the golf course, as I’ll be joining fellow derby adventurer mt.tilicum as well as some other cohorts for the Rainy City Roller Dolls golf fund-raiser at the Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club in Yelm.

First, the details: The four-man scramble will feature a shotgun start with action starting at 2 p.m. The cost for the event is $40 and includes 18 holes at Tahoma Valley, a cart rental and a post-round drink ticket. The event also includes a raffle featuring an assortment of prizes, as well as longest-drive and closest-to-the-pin challenges.

Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club is located at 15425 Mossman St. SW in Yelm. Golfers must pay and register prior to the tournament. For more information or to register, contact Julie Miller (Lucyville SlugHer) at (360) 451-6941.

For me, it’ll be my first time back on an actual course since at least 2004. I’ve hit the driving ranges here and there, sunk a pretty sweet-ass-sweet hole-in-one playing putt-putt last summer, and have been brushing up on my Tiger Woods 04 golf skills via the PS2, but by and large, I expect I’ll suck.

 

but at least I'll have a better day on the course than this guy!

 

This is due to several things. First, I can’t drive. I tee off with a 3- or 4-iron, whichever feels right at the time. Can’t swing a driver to save my life. Trust me…it’s safer for everyone this way.

with me on the course, this could be YOU!

But aside from that, I used-to-could golf pretty well, in terms of my approach, short and putting games. So I’m hoping next to channel a little inspiration to hope it all goes well. We’ll be playing in foursomes, and hitting the driving range at least a couple times first, so I think I’ll be able to hold my own OK…all else fails, it comes with the free drink ticket!

"be the ball thurston." or alternately "na-nananananananananana."

Lastly, Rainy City is getting ready for their Aug. 29 bout later on against the Dockyard Derby Dames‘ (of Tacoma) Trampires. Both these teams were at Dockyard’s eight-team four-mini-bout format last month and both won, so it should be a good battle between two very solid teams!

Mark your calendars! In fact, if you want to get the lowdown on this one, you’ll have to get it somewhere else… For the first time since I’ve been involved with Rainy City, I’ll have to (somewhat) voluntarily skip this bout as I’ll be camping up near Mt. Rainier and Paradise, a trip nearly three months in the making.

go to derby for me. i'll be here.

That said, I’m debating how I’ll recap that one…if I’ll just talk to the team and attribute a lot to what they say, or (the preferred idea) if someone out there wants to help me out and write a recap, I’d certainly appreciate it! There may even be a future beer in it for the lucky chosen one! In any event, if you’re interested, e-mail me at thurstongore@hotmail.com and we can chat about it. word.

In the meantime, I’m gonna go get ready for this golf tourney! I leave you with this:

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the golf course! Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key... Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The little, brown, furry, RODENTS! Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers.

Have fun out there kiddies!
Gopher-killing, derby-lovin’ ¡Thurston Gore!

RCRD Ready to Unveil Beergarden Bout!

Just when you thought roller derby at the Rollerdrome couldn’t get any better…

Just when you thought watching the Rainy City Roller Dolls was enough…

Just when you though a double header couldn’t possibly get any more raucas…

BEERGARDEN HAPPENS!

beer

That’s right, on Saturday, July 11 (this Saturday), the Rainy City Roller Dolls are hosting a double header at the Rollerdrome in Centralia, unveiling for the first second time a beergarden explosion!

Now with BEERGARDEN!

In one bout, Rainy City will do battle with Boise, Idaho’s Treasure Valley Rollergirls, who are coming off a nice win down in Reno, Nev., on June 27 against Reno’s Battle Born Derby Demons 124-117. They needed it too, as the Emerald City Roller Girls, of Eugene, Ore., upended TVRG in Boise, 104-100. You can read more about that bout from May 26 over at Elwood Bruise’s All Bout Derby.

They bring a strong balance, using blockers like Scarlet Danger (13 blocked jammers by Elwood’s numbers at the May bout), Cybil Dizorder and Mia Wallups alongside jammers like JillDozer (33 points against Emerald City) and B-Header (41).

Of course, in Rainy City, which has been on a roll since defeating Victoria, British Columbia’s Eves of Destruction, they’re getting a team that’s won two head-to-head bouts and the D-Day in the Desert tournament the Atomic City Roller Girls threw on June 6.

Ultimately, you’re likely going to need a cold refreshing beer to cool off, as the action will be heating up throughout!

In the undercard on the bill, the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade is taking on the Sick Town Derby Dames (STDD…hahaha!) of Corvallis, Ore. I was trying to look up recent results and honestly, and not sure if either of these teams have bouted of late beyond scrimmages. So, it’ll be a good first look (at least for me) at these squads.

Tickets are only $10 in advance at brown paper tickets! It’s $12 at the door. Did I mention I’ll be making my announcing debut for Rainy City? How’s that for added incentive! (if this actually acts as a deterent for you, let us and know; I can “take care of” myself, if you know what I mean…)

i know people

Beer, derby and fishnet tights…what could possibly be better?

***************************************************************************

Hey! Yeah you! I see you asshole! Just kidding. But if you are reading this, ask yourself a very important question… Are you going to be at this bout? If the answer is no, then maybe you should reconsider your priorities in life. Just sayin. If the answer is yes, then maybe you should consider free admission and a free t-shirt!!! That’s right…the Rainy City Roller Dolls need some volunteer help for this very bout! For additional info, message the team on myspace. If for some reason you *still* refuse to have a myspace, then go ahead and get in touch with me at thurstongore@hotmail.com and I’ll make sure it gets into the right hands!

There’s No Place Like (a future) Home

There’s truly no place like home for a season-ending bout.

Last weekend, I got the pleasure of joining the Kitsap County-based Slaughter County Roller Vixens for their final bout of the season, There’s No Place Like Home. With a Wizard of Oz theme, the SCRV Dorothys took on the Lilac City Rollergirls’ (Spokane) SheWolves, while the SCRV All-Stars did battle with 7 + 7, a mix team feature seven skaters from Oregon and seven from the Rat City Rollergirls.

And while the action on the track wasn’t the closest (the SheWolves claimed a 174-89 win while the SCRV All-Stars won just as handily, 169-65), there were two things that really impressed me about this bout.

First, location, location, location! For the first time, Slaughter County was able to make use of the Kitsap Fairgrounds Pavilion. Utilizing a sport court on borrow from Jet City (Everett; isn’t the derby community rad?), the Pavilion proved a great derby atmosphere, with a nice section of elevated seating providing some great birds-eye views on the action.

Setting up the sport court *photo by .00Buck

Secondly, with about 400 people turning out, it’s great to see the fan support. Derby was not the only option in Kitsap last weekend. The derby literally had to compete with The Thunderbird Rodeo, happening literally at the arena right across the street; the Kitsap BlueJackets, who had a game at the Kitsap Fairgrounds Ballfields, also right across the street; Fathoms of Fun, Port Orchard’s community festival; and I’m sure there was more going on too. Kitsap County is one of those places where nothing happens for four weekends in a row, then five different things you want to do are all packed into the same Saturday. So the turnout was definitely a great sign! Hopefully that means more Fairgrounds bouts in the future. And not to go too far into speculation, but word is SCRV may be getting their own sport court a la KitCo sometime in the future, so god luck with that too!

Now, on to the action. I was announcing alongside side Stab-Her Lee and Haulin’ Oates, giving me pretty much the best seat in the house. I was however a little busy, so many individual moments and mentions, as usual, escaped me for these purposes. But, I did make a more concetrated effort to at least take note of some of the skaters who really impressed me. To the action!

The SheWolves and Dorothys first did battle, and while the score was a blowout, it never felt like it was as wide open as it ended up being. The jammers, as usual, were on point, with Onda’ Sligh and Evil Jenevil doing most of the jamming. Sligh was her usual all-over-the-effing-place self, but did take some pretty hard hits from SheWolves blockers that left her battered and bruised. Jenevil did a nice job handling the bulk of the load, but a few jams her blockers had some issues opening up holes for her. Gun’Her Gombos was also pretty busy from the jam line, but ran into similar issues as Jenevil. The only reason Sligh was more successful is because her crazy skating relies less on opened holes and more on opening her own. But the Dorothys did have some solid blocking efforts, particularly from Goodilicious, Throb-N-Robyn and KnockerHer SocksOff.

Gun'her Gombos jams while Evil Jenevil helps hold off a blocker. *photo by .00Buck

It wasn’t enough to keep the Lilac crew at bay however. Jammers Schwanna Boom Boom and Whomping Willow skated extremely well, cruising around the track like flying monkeys.

This is what their jammers were like...only less hairy and way hotter.

They also got some nice blocking assistance from Dirt E KT, Graham SlamHer, Ida B Choazz and others. Baby Snakes also had a strong all-around bout.

Blockers Ida B Choazz (69) and Schwanna Boom Boom (39) work on trapping jammer Gun'Her Gombos. *photo by .00Buck

Again, while the score was never really too close after the first 10 or so jams, both teams kept the intensity high and the hits hard, still making it an enjoyable match to watch. Mad props to one of my personal SCRV favs too, Nerd Rage, who not only busted out a ruby red fanny pack for the occasion, but also sported a green limestone glove in honor of the recently passed Michael Jackson. Nice touch!

Anja Downigan jams while Nerd Rage stylish blocks a SheWolf with her ruby-red fanny pack and her MJ-green faux-rhinestone glove! *photo by .00Buck

The second bout was similar, but kind of the mirror image if you will. The SCRV All-Stars, consisting predominately of Terrormedixxx with some Death Rattle Rollers in the mix (whereas the Dorothys were largely DRR), did battle with 7+7, a mix team of Rat City skaters along with a mix of skaters from the Lava City Roller Dolls (Bend, Ore.), the Coos County Roller Girls, (Coos Bay, Ore.), and the Emerald City Roller Girls (Eugene, Ore.). That made for a great opportunity to see lots of skaters I haven’t seen before, catch up with a few I had, but also made for an interesting bout as none of these girls had skated together previously.

Again, after the opening five to 10 jams, this one was also a blowout. And while it too happened early, it mimicked the first bout in terms of action to keep myself, and presumably other fans, paying attention.

Really, it’s hard to mention any one girl from the SCRV All-Stars because literally everyone who skated in that bout had a moment or two minimum to be happy about. Brawlyanna, Lolli Von PerkiPops, QT Krusher, Ree Arrange’Her, Roller Rage Rosie, Rollin Dirty, Mistress Von Trample, Ruby Rotten, B Murda and Tune’Her up skated did their steady-as-usual game. Ree Arrange’Her was especially on point in this one, as was Roller Rage Rosie. Bashley Blaze and Speedy Guns Haul-Ass were solid jamming all night, easily finding paths through the much smaller 7+7′s. But I was super impressed with one SCRV skater in particular in this one: Anna Barbera.

Anna Barbera battles Ima Handful. *photo by .00Buck

Not only did she spend the majority of the bout blasting Seattle or Oregon girls left and right, but she also took the jammer cap late in the bout. To take it even farther, she scored a point! It was a great effort capping a great night for badass Anna Barbera! Nice work!

I love watching blockers jam! Nice job Anna! *photo by .00Buck

On the 7+7 side, Rat City’s Ima Handful seemingly did all the jamming! She definitely got a little worn by the end, but she skated very strongly throughout. Petty Rage from Lava City and Dolly Demented from Coos County did a nice job, as did Rat City skaters Sake Bomb, Foxy Throwdown, Grim Chi and Slutnik. But my favorite moment for the 7+7′s came late when Des Demona **(thanks to Izzy Wright for letting me know Des is formerly)** of the Emerald City Roller Girls got low and picked a great angle to accelerate and lift Bashley Blaze an inch or two off the ground before the huge (and legal) hit sent her into the sport court. Great hit capping a great effort for Des Demona! It was easily the biggest hit on the night. **(It would appear then that Emerald City was not part of this team afterall)**

Overall, judging from the action on the floor and the final scores, it probably would have been a little better had the SheWolves and All-Stars bouted with the Dorothys and 7+7′s on the undercard, but I’m sure it was a great skating experience for all teams involved in terms of exposing some strengths to continue and some weaknesses to shore up.

On a HUGELY important side note, this was the final regular bout for SCRV announcer Stab-Her Lee, who will step away from the position to focus on her crazy-ass busy-ness, which includes, but is not limited to, multiple bands, jobs, cupcakes, clothes and I’m sure a shit-ton more.

From left: StabHer Lee, Haulin' Oates, Thurston Gore! *photo by .00Buck

In making my official bout announcing debut a few weeks back, it was StabHer who taught me the most, almost always through her sterling example! From promoting sponsors to adding some unmatched wit behind the mic, she’s truly been an asset during her three years with Slaughter County. It’ll be sad to see her step away, but understandably so. And as she’s stated previously, she’ll be back as a fan and I’m sure won’t be able to stay entirely away. But it was great working with both StabHer and the equally witty Haulin’ Oates last weekend! I think my favorite part was when KnockHer came up to me at th afterparty and mentioned the skit we had performed in the beginning, in which StabHer and Haulin’ were the god and wicked witches from Wizard of Oz and I was the cowardly lion. I believe KnockHer’s comment was “You were the stoned guy they told to stay in the car!” Waking lion…stoned guy in car…I’ll let you decide which is more fitting.

Secondly, it was great to see a lot of the girls we camped with in Atomic City back out for this one! In addition to the SCRV team and the Rainy City team, Baby Snakes, Whomping Willow and Schwanna Boom Boom all skated for Atomic in that one. Also, Petty Rage as well. It was awesome being able to see some teams out there with a little greater face familiarity! Although, given that camping trip, some people are probably less recognizable now… Also, Ima Handful and Sake Bomb were both at the Rat-Rose-Rainy scrimmage the week before. There may have been others, but as I said on twitter, I’m “meeting derby girls too quickly. Even derby names not standing out like they used to!” But that’s a good thing!

The afterparty was pretty fun, although I had to head out kinda early to drive back down to Oly. It was great getting to hang out with Ms. Von Trample and Tripart, her beau and the friend I walked with during our 1999 PHS high school graduation!, as well as talking sonic youth with Kitten with a Whip, talking a variety of awesomeness with Jenocidal and Nerd Rage, and getting to freak it in a soul train-style dance line with both StabHer Lee and Schwanna Boom Boom. Needless to say, my drive back to Oly was much dreamier!

Lastly, if you haven’t bought your tix yet you should! Rainy City will be hosting a double header on July 11, now with BEERGARDEN!

Now with BEERGARDEN!

You can find out more about that bout, and all of its awesomeness, here.

Lastly, big congrats to the Breakneck Betties for winning Rose City’s crown last weekend, with equally big props to the High Rollers for getting there! HRMF! Also to the Guns N’ Rollers, who just fell to the Standing Heathers.

One more sidenote I forgot to put in the original…If you need fireworks still so you can blow the shit out of some shit on the fourth, then Slaughter County has you covered!

Blow shit up with derby-approved fireworks!

Alright…see ya on the 11th kiddies!

xThurston Gore!x

Rat and Rose Get Wet with Rainy City

Ah homecomings. Sometimes they can be the thing we look forward to, even need, more than anything else. Sometimes they can be the things we need to avoid at all costs.

Luckily, I got the witness the former last weekend in a very special scrimmage at the Rollerdrome in Centralia. Before this scrimmage, I’d seen a Rat City team and I’d seen a Rose City team. But until Saturday, I’d never seen a Rat-Rose battle. And while this was just a scrimmage, it was easy to see why both teams are revered in the derby world.

Throw into that mix some action from my favorite clan of derby divas, the Rainy City Roller Dolls, and you’ve got yourself the recipe for a good time!

Rainy City played host to the scrimmage double-header, which since it was a scrimmage I won’t be super detailed about the action on the floor. Basically, this was an opportunity for both teams to get together and, under supervision of several refs, practicing skating under the new WFTDA 4.0 rule set. It gave refs a chance to see how it changes their side of things and it gave score and penalty trackers, like myself, a little more to check into as well.

As far as the teams go, Rose City came up with a mix of Axes of Annihilation and Wheels of Justice skaters, fielding mostly both teams. Rat City brought a mix of A and B team skaters as well, but seemed to share throughout the scrimmages. Rainy City had about eight skaters on hand, so they jumped in the mix some too.

The morning — that’s right, morning – began at 9 a.m. with warm-ups before Rat City’s A Team took on the Wheels of Justice. That was a nice way to start the scrimmage, setting the tone for both skaters and officials to see what, if anything, was noticeably different under the new rule set. Rose City was definitely the dominant team on the track, but Rat City was without some of its regulars too.

Rose City jammer White Flight gets ahead of Rat City's Nasty Trick

The Wheels of Justice didn’t up, more than doubling up Rat City. They were skating fast, hitting hard and showing just why they’re ranked fourth in the Western Region by WFTDA. Three members of the Wheels racked up 20+ point jams and another scored 19 in one go. But that didn’t keep Rat City from trying. Ultimately, Rat City starting getting into penalty trouble however, with Valtron 3000 committing three majors and nine minors in the scrimmage.

Rose City blocker MaRollin' Monroe puts a big inside hit on Nasty Trick

The veterans like Blood Clottia and Cadillac were jamming like crazy, but it was relatively new skater White Flight turning some serious heads, scoring five grand slams for 25 points in a single go. Rat City had some solid performances from the likes of Billie Boilermaker, Wile E. Peyote, Katrina Whip and Ima Handful. But again, it was a scrimmage, so take all these recap notes with the appropriate grain of salt. The teams got together at the half to chat about what was different or just give each other feedback in general.

Pow wow

During the first bout, I was able to work on my own multitasking, both penalty tracking for Rat City while also shooting some photos. It was nice to see that I’ve still got it from my days as a sports reporter where I’d have to cover the game play by play, take my own stats and notes and shoot photos. Also, it was cool to see more hits from the inside of the circle. Normally, I’m stuck on the outside shooting, so that was a nice way to mix it up.

While the A-Team bout was the main event, it was the B game I was excited for. It was an interesting format. Rat City had less B-team skaters, so the Axles of Annihilation lined up against Rat City for a jam, then Rainy City for a jam, more or less. Sometimes Rat City would stay out for back-to-back jams, sometimes Rainy City would.

Not that A-team...

This was what I was excited to see. You see, Rose City’s Mercyful Kate and Napalm Beth were two of the original Rainy City Roller Dolls before heading south to Portland. So when Rainy City lined up opposite Rose City – and those two in particular – everyone wanted bragging rights, scrimmage or no.

Personally, I had never gotten to meet MercyFU in person, much less seen her skate. And Napalm, whose old Oly house I know share with a pair of RCRD skaters and mt.tillicum, is also a force on the track. All I knew was this was gonna be fun!

The line-up we were waiting for!

It was hard to gauge who was specifically doing well in the second scrimmage, just because Rainy City and Rat City kept swapping out, but playing Rose City as a team (just different lineups). But for Rose City, both Napalm and Mercyful had nice return trips to the rink they used to skate in. Smackya Sideways as always was strong, as was Scrappy-go-Lucky, J.K. Rolling a nd Edie Disorder. For the Rainy City side, Suzzi Sidebomber had another nice outing, as did Make’Her Mark, Miss Mel Mangles and Lucyville Slug-Her.

Rainy City's Suzzi Sidebomber sits on the Axle's jammer

But I think it was Holly Hobbler for Rainy City that provided my favorite moment of the bout. Known affectionately by her team as Tiny Jammer (as in ‘Hold me closer Tiny Jammer’), she’s been a force blocking the last several bouts as well, adding to her versatility. But what really impressed me was when she found herself out front all alone with no one to hit but Smackya Sideways. Instead of shirking away, Hobbler lowered her shoulder and sent all her momentum in Smackya, who (no offense smack! nothin’ but love!) is about three Hobblers at least. Needless to say, the blow barely sent Smackya skating a different line, much less knock her down. Still, it was the thought and fearless tenacity that counted! In fact, immediately after, Hobbler also drove one into Napalm, albeit with similar results.

Rose City's Mercyful Kate tries to contain Rainy City's Holly Hobbler

Rat City did OK in its intervals too, but again, Rose City took the combo-scrimmage handily again.

Rose City what?!?! P.S. GOOD LUCK HIGH ROLLERS!

But again again, this was just a scrimmage, so no one was putting the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllables, so to speak. Still, it was a great way to spend three hours of a Saturday morning! Even ref Papa Crack said he enjoyed the morning go-round.

On the penalty tracking side, the only new thing for me was getting the send-offs right. Where it used to be that four majors in a half would send you off, it’s now five trips to the box total. You could commit 20 minors for your five trips, five majors, or any combination therein. Otherwise, things seemed to be pretty much business as usual.

On a completely unrelated related note, I also got to go to the Mariners game that night! It was a pretty sweet M’s win, 7-3! Talk about a busy day! But, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

On an entirely different note, I’m going to be announcing with Stab-Her Lee Saturday at the last bout of the season for the Slaughter County Roller Vixens as their party team for the even, the Dorothys, gets ready to take on the Lilac City Roller Girls’ (of Spokane) SheWolves. Originally, a B-team of all-stars for SCRV was going to take on a team of Coos County Roller Girls, but now it looks like it may be a mix of multiple Oregon skaters, which should be pretty sweet! The theme for the bout is ‘There’s No Place Like Home,’ so make sure you bring your Ruby Reds or some such shit. This time it’s at the Kitsap Fairgrounds and Events Center, so that should be an interesting new venue too. Come on out and say hi! It’s gonna be awesome!

Also, Rainy City is prepping for its next home bout on July 11! Here’s more on that too:

WOOTS!

So, until next time, catch ya on the flip side of the dolla dolla yo’s.

Much love,

Thurston Gore!!!

Carnival of Pain! Preview! Action!

What a Friday!

The sun is shining, everyone is generally happy. A long weekend lends itself to a short week.

And now, after waiting, it’s time. ROLLER DERBY TIME!

I myself will be making the trek from Olympia to Bremerton, eager for some double-header action as the Slaughter County Roller Vixens host the Carnival of Pain! on Saturday at the Bremerton Skateland.

I’m not sure which bout is first, so I’ll just start off with a quick preview of what I think will open, the SCRV Death Rattle Rollers taking on the Dockyard Derby Dames’ (Tacoma) new all-star team, the Waves of Mutilation (love the Pixies reference too btw!).

Featuring captains Franky Bones, Diva State, and one of my personal favorite Dockyard skaters, Marcel duStomp, the Waves of Mutilation truly are the cream of the Tacoma crop, feature a nice mix of Dockyard members from a number of different Dockyard squads. Also on the roster are such Dockyard vets as Cookies & MILF, Pink Tatillac, Sister Slaughter and Skate Pauli Girl. This will be the 2009 debut bout for this particular pairing however, so you kow they’ll have their hands full with the Death Rattle Rollers.

DRR, with skaters like captains Abbey Cadabra and Speedy Gun Haul-Ass, not to mention talent like Anna Barbera, Ruby Rotten, Miss Direction, Darth Maul’Her and Dreadful Dodger, are always one to put up a good fight. This should be an interest bout both from a competitive standpoint, but also to see just how far Dockyard has come.

In the night’s second bout (although again, order is as yet unknown), the Rainy City Roller Dolls will once again try to bring the reign and rain the pain down on the SCRV Terrormedixxx. These two teams faced off last year in an extremely close bout almost exactly one year ago to the day. But a lot has changed on both sides since then.

TMX is always a tough team to battle, and with Rainy City coming off a win in Victoria against the Eves of Destruction, you know both teams are going to leave it all on the floor! Rainy City will be skating the usual suspects, including, but not limited to, Miss Mel Mangles, Holly Hobbler, Crack Attack, Toot A. Lou, Lucyville Slug-Her and more. But you know the TMX combos of Brawlyanna, Misstress Von Trample, Daisy Nuke, Rollin Dirty and others will be sure to challenge. Throw in jammer sensation On Da Sligh, and this one really could be anybody’s bout!

As if the action on the floor weren’t enough reason to come out, you can come catch me in my official bout debut, as I’ll be announcing on behalf of Rainy City for at least that bout. My previous announcing experience – and only for that matter – came in Portland earlier this month when Team Washington, featuring many of the skaters we’ll see Saturday, took on the Rose City Rollers’ Guns n’ Rollers. But making it even more exciting for me is I’ll be announcing alongside the lovely and talented Stab-Her Lee, who just announced via her myspace that June 27 will be her last bout after announcing for SCRV for three years. It will truly be an honor to saddle up to the mic with such an accomplished derby vet! Also, if you have nothing going on tonight and feel like a trip to Tacoma, catch Stab-Her Lee at the Emerald Queen Casino as she opens for Spike and the Impalers!

So remember, this is a good weekend.

A rcknrll wknd.

Much love derby lovers,

ThUrStOn GoRe!!!xxx