Rainy City rocks Knocktoberfest; everyone wins the afterparty!

It’s weekends like that one that remind me just how much fun roller derby is, can be, and will continue to be in the future.

What weekend is that, you ask? Well, the particular calendar date in question was Oct. 17, less than two weeks ago. But really, this was a weekend unlike Centralia will see again for some time. This was Knocktoberfest 2009.

and what a knocktoberfest it was!

The morning began innocently enough, with everyone waking and prepping for a long night of roller derby action. I knew I’d be at least partially announcing, so I started reviewing the rosters, getting ready for who I’d be calling out. When I got to the Rainy City Roller Dolls roster, it hit me. This really would be the last Rainy City bout for a number of the team.

There’s assistant coach Noa Fantastica, who is moving to Portland to hit some bitches of his own in the merby circles. There’s Bashley Juggs, who’ll head north to Tacoma to concentrate on school and work (Tacoma is already where she does both; perhaps we’ll see here with Dockyard next year?). There’s Holly Hobbler, following Noa to Portland where she’ll no doubt become a Rose City “Tiny Jammer.” And of course, Miss Mel Mangles.

Mangles, the leader of Rainy City on and off the track, is also Portland bound. In fact, just two weekends back I saw her make her Guns n’ Rollers debut (that blog is coming too; fear not!). In losing Mangles, the team isn’t just losing a player, but a truly exceptional leader who knew just what to do and/or say on and off the track to elicit the right response from her teammates at just the right time. She brought the Unicorn Punchers to life, donned the stache on more than one occasion, and found a number of ways to make this blogger feel like a little kid again.

Pink 'stache is just one of several to adorn Mel Mangles' face! Shananana!

Before I get too gushy though, let’s run through the rest of the amazing derby tournament that several hundred were lucky enough to witness. Featuring Rainy City, the Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ (Bremerton, Wash.) Death Rattle Rollers, the Emerald City Roller Girls’ (Eugene, Ore.) Exhibitionists and the Bellingham Roller Betties, there was no lack of action on the flat track.

Now, I’m not going to go into great detail in any of the specific bouts, since it’s been done and I’m later than usual with my recap (life is busy sometimes, ya dig?).  Also, since I was working (I announced two bouts and was the score keeper for two bouts),  didn’t get to catch as much of the action from an undivided standpoint this go round. So, for the nitty gritty of what went down, where and how, check out Elwood Bruise’s recap, now on Examiner, where he gets paid! Help a debry brother out and click on over there.

Bout 1 – Rainy City vs. Death Rattle Rollers

I was announcing the first bout along side Sparticus, the first time I’d gotten to work with him directly after we were originally slated to do a couple others together. I always enjoy getting on the mic with new people, and this was no exception! Where as I feel like my strengths are more of a traditional sports broadcaster, particularly in play-by-play action, his are not only an awareness of what’s happening on the track, but also, the ability to throw in comedic relief where I clearly can not. Nice job sir!

here's sparticus! the first of two announcers I got to call with. Thanks for the shots Sharkey!

The opening bout ended up being Rainy City and the Death Rattle Rollers which was probably the one match-up I was hoping against in the opener. Now don’t get me long…I love the Slaughter County teams almost as much as my own Rainy City. But, they’d already bouted a couple times this year, either in official bouts or scrimmages, so I was hoping more for the mix up just because I’d never seen the other two teams skate. But alas, the draw had spoken.

Slaughter Kinney throws a shoulder into Crazy Train. Thanks for the shots Sharkey!

Rainy City held the Death Rattle Rollers at bay throughout this one, scoring early and often to open up an early lead that would hold through. Elwood reported that Rainy City shut out DRR in 14 of 19 jams in the minibout (the tourney was played in 30-minute minibouts), while themselves scoring in 14. Anytime that happens, you can pretty much be assured of the outcome. In this case, the first bout ended with Rainy City on top, 109-26.

Bout 2 – Bellingham vs. Emerald City

This was the first time I got to watch either of these teams skate and I must say, they both have a lot of talent and are pretty evenly matched. I was a scorekeeper during this one, so again, not the most detailed notes, etc.

Still, I was impressed by several members of both squads. They both seemed pretty evenly matched. It started back-and-forth, but Bellingham built a pretty hefty halftime lead, up 45-20.

Two Bellingham blockers, including Dixy Dethdlr make a sandwich with Emerald City's jammer. Thanks for the shots Sharkey!

Not making the long drive from Eugene to Centralia for nothing however, Emerald City battled back, going on a 20-3 run to start the second half and pull closer at 48-40 Bham.The next jam, Sirius Smack, one of ECRG’s finest, took a 15-4 decision to put the Exhibitionists up 55-52.

This bout continued back and forth until the final jams, when Pearl Haggard and Helen Damnation each picked up 5-0 runs to secure a spot for Bellingham against Rainy City in the final, 84-76. Great bout from both teams!

Since I’d never a seen either of these teams, a few quick individual observations. For Bellingham, Chaos Fury stands out first and foremost. She is as formidable a threat on the track as I’ve seen int he NW, using size and agility to takes hits and dish ‘em out. Walker Texas Mangle’Her was pretty killer in the pack too. Other solids were Lady Blackhart and Osaka Punch!. Jamming, it was Haggard and Dixy Dethdlr who stood out. But let’s see…I’m forgetting someone…oh yea…one of the night’s top all-around threats, Helen Damnation. She not only capitalized when jamming, but was a thorn in the side of her opponents all night long in the pack too.

Bellingham's Chaos Fury takes I beleive ECRG's Blue Ruin outside. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

As for Emerald City, how could you not be impressed by Pow Wow? She was one of their top players on this night and rightfully so, as she was ECRG’s most effective jammer. But like some others mentioned here, she has the size and agility to absorb a hit as well, making her particularly dangerous when she’s wearing the star. Sirius Smack was also stellar, and ECRG jammers Betty Aim Fire and Ambrusia were both solid as well, with the latter also doing a great job blocking. Rex Havoc was one of the better blockers in this tourney as well, while her teammates JuJu Doll and Ginger Kid were also solid all-round.

So, it was now time to go back to announcing for the third bout, which was the third/fourth-place bout between….

Bout 3 – DRR vs. Emerald City

I was actually pretty stoked to announce this one too, as it gave me the chance to work with another announcer for the first time, Rat City’s Randy Pan the Goat Boy. A derby vet who’s been around the block a few times, it was a great experience for me to just see another style of announcing. Randy is a good dude and it was pleasure to call a bout with him.

Randy Pan the Goat Boy, my other partner in crime. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

As for the bout, you could tell right off the get go that DRR wanted to make a statement. One of two players helping DRR out on loan from Spokane’s Lilac City, Crazy Train and fellow DRR jammers Evil JenEvil, Bashley Blaze and Speedy Gun Haul-Ass helped build a 23-10 lead early.

Emerald City's Ruby Vroom lowers a shoulder into Death Rattle Roller Evil JenEvil. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

But Emerald City, once again, wanted to drive back to Eugene with something to show for it, and kicked it into high gear, outscoring DRR a whopping 65-18 the rest of the way en route to a 74-41 third-place victory.

For DRR on the tournament, each of those jammers were solid, but blocking was one of their strengths, with Ruby Rotten, Knock’er Socksoff and Goodielicious doing the most damage. And while DRR may not have won a bout at the tourney, they just may have won the afterparty (more in a minute).

Nerd Rage assists Evil JenEvil with a normal whip. Has she forsaken the Fanny Packtastic whip? Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

That left just one more bout…

Knocktoberfest Championship – Rainy City vs. Bellingham

For me it was back to the score table, but for this bout, turns out there’s no better seat in the house.

What a bout this turned out to be! After Rainy City pulled ahead early, thanks to nice jams from Holly Hobbler and Killer B. But, as was seemingly the theme for this entire tournament, it didn’t stay that way.

Did you know Killer B could riverdance on skates? Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

Bellingham battled back behind those same key aforementioned cogs, eventually working Rainy City to a 47-47 tie.

That was when it got really intense. In fact, Elwood told that so well, I’m gonna lift his play-by-play, but you can read the entire recap of his here.

The 18th jam was one of the most intense jams I have ever seen! Jammers Toot A. Lou and Tulla Jitt couldn’t get through the pack during their initial pass no matter what they tried. Tulla eventually found herself sitting in the penalty box for the middle part of this jam, but Toot A. Lou still couldn’t find that gap to get through so she could go on her scoring run. Although all the Bellingham blockers should get credit for this, Walker Texas Mangle’her did an especially good job with keeping the dangerous RCRD jammer in check. The jam went a full 2 minutes with neither skater escaping the pack during their initial pass!

The next two jams were the exact opposite of the previous one. In the 19th run, Helen Damnation slapped the star on her noggin, claimed lead jammer and raced away with a devestating 13-4 decision over Holly Hobbler, giving Bellingham a 60-51 lead. But in the very next jam, Rainy City answered back with a vengeance as Lucyville Slug’her got to show off her jamming skills in a rare occasion by earning lead jammer and collecting a pair of grand slams for a 10-0 scoring run that gave Rainy City a slim 61-60 lead with time quickly running out.

Crack Attack takes a shoulder from Beretta Garbo like it ain't no thang. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

That set the stage for one of the best moments I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing in roller derby. With one jam to go, Rainy City up 61-60, Holly Hobbler took the star again for Rainy City while Dixy Dthdlr sported it again for the Betties. With two of the best jammers on the floor, most everyone, especially me as an official scorekeeper, figured there’d be a lot more adding before the final tally was posted.

Bham jamm Tulla jit gets help from her pack. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

But rather than an offensive outburst on either side, Rainy City’s wall of Crack Attack, Slaughter Kinney (in one of her best bouts yet), Poise N’ Bury and Miss Mel Mangles made sure that didn’t happen. They suffocated the pack, and while Hobbler herself was never able to score a point (thanks to a wall of Walker Texas Mangle’her, Lady Blackheart, Helen Damnation and Chaos Fury), neither was Dthdlr, as Mangles finished her off by improbably sitting on her for the entire final lap. In fact, Hobbler had to serve a full minute in the box in the final jam.

But alas, Rainy City had done the improbable, preserving a 1-point lead and ultimately, a Knocktoberfest 2009 championship win! SHANANANA!

Rainy City wins! Coach RyRod, Slaughter Kinney and Poise N' Bury share a moment. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

So, which team had I not yet called out great players for? Who does that leave? Rainy City? What, what?

Rainy City was ready for this tournament, and you could see they did not want to lose in front of the home crowd or in the last bout for so many awesome members of the league. While there wasn’t that ‘Win one for the Gipper’ feel in the air, you bet your ass that Rainy City wanted to send Mangles, Hobbler, Bashley and Noa out on top. And what better way?

First, Mangles. Holy crap. There’s a reason she’s already been drafted to GnR folks. If you haven’t gotten to watch Mangles skate competitively, do yourself a favor and catch her the next time she’s in action. If you haven’t had the insanely awesome privileged of getting to party with Mangles, then this too is a must-do before you die. Mangles, I’m gonna miss your Unicorn-Punchin’ ass up here, but we’ll see you in PDX too. Oh ya, and did I mention this feared blocker took lead jammer in four of her six bouts as a jammer?

Jammer Mangles tries to get through a pack of 'Hamsters! Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

Next, Holly Hobbler. Rainy City’s Tiny Jammer had been a little back and forth this year, following up a great bout with a tougher bout, then vice versa. But there was no question in this one, as her 37 points speaks for itself. Another great asset to Rainy City and also a ton of fun on and off the track, Hobbler is another one I’ll miss dearly. She too is going to be a great asset where ever she goes. But again, what a way to end it.

Holly Hobbler in a jammer battle with Helen Damnation. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

Now, Killer B. If anyone can soften the blow of losing a jammer like Hobbler, it’s B. Four jams, 40 points. You do the math. She was on her game tonight and has come a long way since joining Rainy City just a few short months ago.

These two I’ll include together: Poise N’ Bury and Mak’her Mark. Both of these RCRD blockers were known forces on the track for their team based on their performance throughout the season. Mak’her was already a big threat coming into this season, while PoiseN has surely established herself with her rapid ascent this season. And while both continued to be a blocking force on the track in this one, I was excited to see both of them jam, and jam well. Rainy City is going to need someone to step up on the scoring side, and they both showed they have the capacity to do just that. Great all-around bouts for both.

Poise N' Bury out front in a line including Mangles, Mak'her and Slaughter...ouch. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

Crack Attack and Lucyville were both solid as usual, but one of their partners in crime on the Rainy City blocking line was another standout: Slaughter Kinney. In two of the best bouts I’ve seen her in, my former roomie not only kicked some major ass from a blocking standpoint, dishing out big hits and holding the inside line with the best of ‘em, she also got the don the jammer cap against DRR. SK had never scored a point before. Well, how about 14!?!?!?! In one jam!!! She did rad!

14 point jam! Nice job SK! Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

Really, it was a total team effort by Rainy City to pull this one out. If anyone had let up for any of the time they were on the track, the outcome could have been drastically different. And that is exactly why I think Rainy City will be a-ok in the face of their departures. Sure, you lose a lot of leadership in Mangles and a lot of size and blocking ability in Mangles and Bashley. Sure you lose a very solid jammer in Hobbler. Sure, you lose a great bench coach in Noa. But Rainy City is a team in the truest sense of the word. In fact, if anything, this is all just part of a greater ploy for Rainy City to take over Portland.

What a bunch of amazing athletes! Graet job by all teams! Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

I kid, but it’s true. While all four have made huge contributions to Rainy City’s history, it’s now on the shoulders of the remaining RCRD skaters and staff to pick up where the team left off. Rainy City made some huge strides this year. Just because some key players are leaving doesn’t mean that run has to end. The pieces are there to keep this successful run going. Really, it’s not a matter of if someone will step up. It’s really just a matter of who. And the answer, honestly, could end up being everyone. But one things for sure: We haven’t seen the last of any of these key Rainy City now-alum. But so is something else: You haven’t seen the last of Rainy City either.

Short Track

Back to gushing for a minute, while I got to extend loving sentiments in context of the bout for Mangles and Hobbler,

We'll miss you Mangles! Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

We'll miss you Hobbler! Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

let me do the same now for Bashley and Noa.

Both have been important pieces of Rainy City’s rise, there to help the team grow and mature and get to where it is today. Bashley had better keep skating with Dockyard; when she’s on top of her game mentally and physically, she’s just as big a blocking threat as anyone. I’ve seen her lay out some skaters with some pretty big shoulders. Now she has the opportunity to do it again for Tacoma.

We'll miss you Bashley Juggs! Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

As for Noa, his contributions as a coach you’d think you’d never see in a bout. On the contrary, you see it in every fresh meat skater that’s come up with Rainy City. Noa has taken the RCRD newbies under his wing and made competent, if not skilled skaters out of them. He’s also pretty damn funny. But now he has a chance to take those skatin’ skillz of his own and put them to good use in the merby world. Kick some ass both of you! Both will be missed as we move toward next season.

We'll miss you Noa Fantastica (seen here with, from left, Mangles, SK, Tina Burn'er and Suzzi Sidebomber)!

A big shout out to both Crazy Train and Schawanna BoomBoom for making the long trip over to Spokane to help out DRR. An even bigger shout out to Hector, the dude who was kind enough to pick these two up after their car broke down on the pass, drive them to the Rollerdrome in Centralia, and stay and cheer them on in the bout! I got to talk to him and thank him personally, and he was truly a humble and amazing dude. He truly felt it was a sort of divine intervention that made it all happen. No matter your religious beliefs, some kind of derby magic was working. I’m just glad they all got their safe. And I’m sure Hector didn’t mind getting his derby cherry popped by those two!! Come to think of it, how hard can hitching a ride in that tandem really be?!?! Just kidding…thanks again for coming over to rock this side of the mountains once more!

Schawana Boom Boom jams against ECRG. Thanks Sharkey for the shots!

That leaves us with one more piece of business to be covered here. Ah yes, the afterparty. With Atomic City hosting D-Day in the Desert earlier in the year (featuring Crazy, Schawanna, RCRD and DRR, as well as Lava City and the rest of Atomic City), I thought there’d be no afterparty to rival. And while the Knocktoberfest afterparty may not have been quite as wild and crazy as that one, there’s a reason a rumored three-to-four guests unexpected checked out of the Econolodged after midnight (sorry!).

If this shot of SK, Mercyful Kate and Mangles doesn't equal party, then nothing does! Thanks Mercy FU! for the shot!

We partied the shit out of that place, with the cops eventually making a delayed appearance at about 3 or so in the morning. Really, I was surprised they hadn’t shown up soon. There was no fights or drama or anything to warrant it, just loud, fun good ole drunken debauchery!

As josh_bomb shows, it really was that kind of party! Thanks Mercy FU! for the shots!

It was great to get to hang out with all the teams, as well as guests like Rose City’s Mercyful Kate who had made the trip up. Everyone was super fun. I must have floated around to a least a dozen conversations and groups of people in various hotel rooms, parking spaces and hallways, and every single one was pretty rad. But, while everyone certainly won the afterparty, nobody won it more than DRR! While the lovely ladies from Slaughter County may not have won out on the track, they partied the shit out of everyone! I’m sure we can expect more of the same when it comes time for them to host a pretty big tournament this winter…more on that soon. Also, only one window was killed in the production of this afterparty.

josh_bomb and I leaving circa 3:30 or 4 that night/the next morning.

Again, special thanks to PDXSharkey/Masonite Burn for shooting rad shots (as usual) of a rad sport! He’s pretty badass, so go check out more of his awesomeness on flickr!

Also, Dockyard has a rad bout coming up this weekend against Lava City! Check it out!

Go check this Tacoma derby action ish out! Uh!

I also wanted to add a note about Slaughter County skater Goodielicious. While I was announcing their bout last weekend between the Terrormedixxx and Death Rattle Rollers (Goodie is DRR) she took a very hard spill, breaking her ankle in 2 or 3 places. She is a single mom who works two jobs (with no insurance) to make ends meet for her family. As a result of her injury, she can’t work. It’s gonna be tough times. So if there’s anyway you can dig into your wallet, even for just a buck or two, it’ll all help. This isn’t a faceless charity somewhere where you send off your money and never really know what it went to or how it was used. This money all goes to Goodie, and in turn, all supports her and her family in this difficult time. So please, again, even if its just a buck, it all ads up! Let’s show everyone how much PacNW derby, and Roller Derby in general, takes care of our own! Just click here to begin the donation process online via paypal. Thanks!

Lastly, I apologize formally for the delay in posting the bloggity blog blog. It’s been a combination of being out of town, at other derby stuffs, work stuff and personal life, all taking things back I guess (lol). In any event, since I went to this bout, I’ve been to two others: The wild weekend two weeks ago down in Portland where Rose City battled the PacNW, and to Slaughter County’s DRR vs. Terrormedixxx battle. Both of those blogs will be posted in the near future here too. I’ll be playing catch-up, that’s for sure! But what better time to have a derby delay than when we’re heading into the offseason?

Word up kiddies.

Thurston!

Primas edge Terminal City in a wild one!

I absolutely, positively love, Love, LOVE! Canada. I love Vancouver. I love Victoria. I love the whole of B.C.

isn't canada great!

Seriously though, from the moment I first went drinking in Canada and the waitress in the pub bumped into my chair, turning to me and saying, “Soary aboot that,” I’ve been hooked.

This has translated into a love for beer, stickyicky, massive amounts of culture and of course, hockey. Particularly the Vancouver Canucks.

roberto luongo will eat yr baby!

As a result, I tend to have a bias for things from Canada. In fact, it’s probably (in a very small way) partly responsible for my love of roller derby. After all, the very first bout I ever attended was a Oly Rollers double header against the Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ Death Rattle Rollers and Victoria, B.C.’s own, Eves of Destruction.

Later, Rainy City went up to Victoria to bout the Eves; my first derby road trip.

In any event, this is all relevant because on Sunday, I finally got to see one of the derby teams I’ve longed to catch in action: Vancouver’s own Terminal City Roller Girls. Terminal came down last weekend to take on the Oly Rollers’ Prima Donnas, although, this was not your average Primas roster.

In addition to normal Primas like Mary Etoppins, Betty Blockade, Halle Scary and Intended Anger, the team was boosted by usual Cosa Nostra Donnas (fresh off winning the WFTDA Western Region in case you’re been living in a derby-insulated cave) lik Atomatrix and Trikk Tracy. The intention clearly was not to stack, as, for example, Atomatrix never donned the jammer cap, spending her whole bout as a blocker (and an incredibly effective one I might add).

I was just enjoying this one, so I didn’t take any detailed notes. But holy crap! this bout was an absolute nail-biter!

Right from the get-go both teams showed a lot of determination to take the win, with a literal back and forth happening the whole time. Couple points here, five there. Early on, I could have sworn I saw the Terminal City jam ref flash 4 points that never went up. Could be wrong though. However, in a bout like this, I clearly remember thinking, “Hope those aren’t important.”

Terminal City had some very impressive skaters who were a lot of fun to watch. Particularly, I really liked getting to see Lamb Baste-Her, Rollergirl, Chica Bomb, Shift Kicker and LA Gunns. In fact, it was Gunns, who let’s just say is not the tallest derby girl on the track, who set the stage for one of my favorite moments as she tried to split the Oly pack for better blocking position while pivoting. She decided to try to cut in between a pair of Oly blockers, but not just any pair of Oly blockers. She tried to go right in between Trikk Tracy and Betty Blockade. Ouch. Predictably, this did not work out too well for her. She found herself a ridiculously undersized slice of lunch meat between two huge pieces of Oly Rollers bread. but hey, anyone who sees those two in front of her and THEN goes for the middle has some major guts!

Luludemon was another who had a great night for Terminal, perhaps egged on by the fact that her parents, who live in freakin’ England, were in Oly to catch the bout. She did get hurt late in the bout (looked like it might have ben a hammy pull, but who knows for sure). But she was jamming very effectively throughout.

As for Oly, my favorite moment was getting to see Halle Halle “>Scerry jam. If you’ve read this blog before, you know it’s no secret I love seeing blockers jam, and Halle was no exception. She even earned lead jammer before being forced to call it off as Terminal’s jammer began her scoring pass.

In any event, the back and forth continued right down to the wire, when Oly found themselves on a power jam in the final jam of the game, outscoring Terminal in the last jam to pull out a crazy, intense, super fun 110-107 win.

Now, if those four points I thought were flashed were counted, then Terminal would have potentially finished up by a point. But woulda, coulda, shoulda. In a bout like this, a million other things could have happened to change the outcome too.And that’s on either side.

In the end, it was a very nice win for Oly, getting some action for some skaters as they prep for Nationals, while Terminal too had a great showing. I’m sure we’ll see these squads battle again on the wood grain before too long. And when they do, you won’t want to miss it!

Short Track

One other funny moment happened late when josh_bomb and I noticed that a Oly jammer called a jam off. Routine enough. Except there was no lead jammer in the jam. We both started yelling rather loudly, and in the end, a penalty was doled out and order restored. I don’t know if we were truly the ones to tip it off, but if we weren’t, we certainly helped! lol

So, what are you doing this weekend? If it’s not Rainy City’s Second Annual Knocktoberfest, then quite frankly, I don’t want to know.

come to this, or else! (as in, or else whatever you're doing won't be as cool!)

It’s gonna be epic! Beer garden, four teams, after party (and likely an after after party). What more could you possible want? Basically, it’s gonna be a derby cluster-ef of Rainy City, Slaughter County’s Death Rattle Rollers,  the Bellingham Roller Betties and the Emerald City Roller Girls. Order for the tournament has not yet been determined. But one thing is certain…there will be killer derby!

As for the rest of the horizon, I’ll be in Portland on Oct. 24 for the Axles of Annihilation as they battle the Jet City Bombers. Actually, this one is gonna be a weekend of Rose City Rollers vs. the Pacific Northwest!

good god that's a lot of derby!

I’m already going to be down in Vancouver, Wash., Oct. 21-23 for a work-related conference, so I’ll be jumping the river and catching some PDX funtime!I’ll likely be NSOing these, so we’ll see how detailed the recaps are.

However, if you feel like that’s just too damn far to go, then make sure you go say what’s up to Dockyard for me, as the Tacoma league is hosting its championships on the 24th too!

why can't I be in many places at once?

Originally I was gonna be here, but the work conference and proximity changed that. So, if anyone wants to do a recap of that one for the bloggy blog here, hit me up at thurstongore@hotmail.com! This bout is gonna be a ton of fun too. Ah, if only I could be a million places at once!

Also, I’m looking to buy skates. Cheap ones. That don’t entirely suck. We’ll see how that goes…maybe a derby equipment blog coming in the future??? We’ll see.

Alright…that’s all for now! Peace outski derby lovers!

Thurston!!!!!!!!!!

Now with Pictures!: Jet City Gets Win But Rainy City Makes Mark

NOTE: This version of the blog has been added to because I am wetodddid and failed to mention three moments I certainly intended to talk about. Nothing from the original blog has been deleted or altered in any way, shape or form. The blog has merely been added to. These paragraphs will begin with a ! and when the section ends, will be followed by a ! for clear identification. In the interest of full disclosure, yours truly, thurstongore!

ANOTHER NOTE!: Now, there’s photos! Thanks to Narra99 from Jet City for letting me use these!!

On the track, it seemed like the Jet City Bombers were looking for a relatively easy win, and for good reason. On paper, it all added up. They just dismantled the Dockyard (Tacoma) Derby Dames’ all-star squad, the Waves of Mutilation, by more than 100 points. The Rainy City Roller Dolls, their hosts in Centralia last Saturday, had just lost to Dockyard’s Trampires, the team providing the bulk of the Wave roster, in a four-point nail-biter.

But this, my friends, is why roller derby is not played on paper.

Waiting to begin...SK is ready! Thanks Narra99 for the photos!

Jet City walked out with the win the Everett all-star squad came for, but they also took home some new bruises as Rainy City put up a fight that made the Bombers earn every last point en route to a 184-122 win. Don’t be fooled by the 62-point difference…this bout came down to the last several jams, with Rainy City making a great run to narrow the gap before Jet City responded in the final moments.

Things started just as Jet City had planned, building a 31-4 lead while shutting out RCRD in four of the opening five jams. Rainy City’s Toot A. Lou (responsible for the first four) then racked up nine more to indicate Rainy City wasn’t going to take it lying down. However, with just one more point in the next three jams, and nine in that final one by Jat City’s Precious N’ Metal, made it 44-14 despite the fact Rainy had lead jammer in two of those.

Crack Attack tries to slow down Precious N Metal... Thanks Narra99 for the photos!

Jet City did a great job in the first half of holding Rainy City at bay. It seemed every time Rainy scored some points to close it, they’d be another one or two ahead. For example, in the 10th jam of the first half, Rainy City’s Killer B racked up seven on the comeback path followed by another four from Miss Mel Mangles. In those same jams, Jet City’s Precious N’ Metal and Missus Unshine scored eight and six respectively to still gain three more, at that point making it 58-25.

The Bombers got a big boost from Connie Torturous, who netted a 17-point jam before being sent to the box, her team now up 87-31. That let Rainy chip back before the half however, building momentum with a 10-pointer for Lucyville Slug-Her. Holly Hobbler scored another 8 for Rainy City to close the half on an 18-0 run, cutting the gap to 87-49.

Ivana Hercha tries to keep Holly Hobbler from scoring....Thanks Narra99 for the photos!

It was definitely a hard-hitting first half, with Jet City’s Trixxxie’s Trash’n Em, Nasty Nikki Nightstick and Cheerbleeder dolin’ out the biggest hits. Rainy City was hitting hard right back, with Mangles, Crack Attack, Poise N’ Bury and Lucyville dishing em out.

Rainy City has long touted itself a second-half team, but this lead was large and Jet City, with the exception of the last couple jams, was largely in charge.

Early in the second half, the Bombers jumped even further out in front with Metal again putting up a 17-point jam and building a 121-59 lead. But again, rather than roll over, Rainy City resolved to go down with a fight. That might have led to one of the more gut-wrenching moments for RCRD in the second half.

Rainy City was aided on the night by the return of DVS Dicer, who had recently moved to Las Vegas. Going around turn two, she was hit hard (and unintentionally) in the face by Cheerbleeder, who was then expelled from the game despite the fact the hit was ruled unintentional. And honestly, Cheerbleeder seemed pretty upset about it, since Dicer was on the ground for some time. In fact, with about 15 minutes left, she had to go to the hospital since her nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. Ultimately, she had a minor concussion as well as a fractured nose (didn’t break all the way). Not how you want to see one of your former teammates exit when it’s a one-off showing anyway.

DVS Dicer, in her Rainy City return, battles Nasty Nikki Nightstick...thanks Narra99 for the photos!

Perhaps out of motivation (or perhaps out of necessity, as another big jam – this time a 20-pointer from Molly Python, who had a very strong all-around game – made it 141-60), Rainy City battled back. Killer B racked up nine in two jams, but then it was Toot A. Lou’s time to shine. With Precious N’ Metal just picking up another eight points herself, she found herself headed to the box with a cutting major. This was a welcome sight for Rainy City, as she’d been the most consistent thorn in the team’s side from a jamming perspective on the night.

Rainy City took advantage, as Toots raced around the track for four grand slams plus four more before Metal got back on the track, a 24-point jam! Holly Hobbler, eager to take advantage fo the momentum, racked up 14 in the next jam herself while Jet City’s Mona Agony, who also had a stand-out all-around performance, got just four despite lead jammer status.

Mona Agony speeds around the turn while jamming...Thanks Narra99 for the photos!

In just two jams, Rainy City went from 69 points to 107, cutting the gap to 155-107 with time for four jams left. Having just put up 38, the crowd got noisier, realizing this one wasn’t as far out of reach as it had seemed throughout much of the night. RCRD thought similarly, getting it back to 161-119 with two jams left.

But as any good team does, Jet City realized what they needed to do to keep it from slipping away, outscoring Rainy City 23-3 the rest of the way (10 more for Python and 13 more for Connie) en route to the 184-122 win.

Miss Mel Mangles lays into Missus Unshine....Thanks Narra99 for the photos!

This was the first time I’d ever witnessed a Rainy City loss. And I have to say, in many ways, it felt like a win. Given the results the week before and RCRD’s loss to the Trampires, Jet City was skating with purpose if for no other reason than a survival instinct. You could see their expressions change as Rainy City continued to battle hard and batter harder. But still, kudos to Jet City for keeping calm in the face of the change of momentum and reacting appropriately. Kudos again to Rainy City for showing a lot of heart in the face of a blowout. This was a great bout by two great things. You can tell the future is bright for both squads.

A couple more shout-outs performance-wise: For Jet City, Cia Woodnwannabia has always impressed me, and she skated well again in this one. For Rainy City, Killer B had a great bout alongside the aforementioned skaters, and it was nice to see the continued development of fresh meat Nic Fit, who really looked as comfortable in the pack as I’d seen her yet. Slaughter-Kinney and Lil Miss Mak’er Mark both performed solid as well, with the latter providing my favorite moment of the bout (next to the overall comeback effort of course).

Jet City vitory lap...Thanks Narra 99 for the photos!

I can’t remember who was coming through, but one of Jet City’s jammers in the first half found herself in both Mak’er and PoiseN’s sights. With these blockers known to floor a skater or two in their time, I was bracing for a painful-looking sandwich. But in a rare moment of mis-timing and a nice burst move by the Jet City jammer, both Rainy City blockers ended up putting a shoulder at full force in to…each other! I just remember Mak’er looking over at PoiseN right after it happened with a huge grin on her face. Ah roller derby; it’s moments like this that remind me why I love you. An instant classic to be sure!

!A particular shout-out to two of Rainy City’s inspirations Saturday night, if to none other than myself, go to Miss Mel Mangles and Chun Lethal. Mangles, always an imposing force on the track, had one of her best nights. She successfully executed blocks twice while skating backwards but moving forward, which I have to say from a fan perspective was pretty rad. Not to mention the heated exchange between Nasty Nikki Nightstick and herself in the penalty box area in the games final jam (Nightstick had taken out Hobbler just inside turn three with a kind of lunging forearm that earned her a trip to the box, but also sent Hobbler to the floor hard with the clock ticking down).!

!Nothing came of it but some heated words, and I’m sure there’s no bad blood among these two teams. Derby is derby and I’m sure we’ve all seen first hand the intensity and pressure of the sport on more than a few derby girls!   !

Toots on her 24-point jam! Thanks Narra99 for the photos!

!Now, as for Chun Lethal, she had been unfortunately Mangled herself during a recent practice, leaving her literally immobilized (you have to come back and check this picture out when it’s up! I’ll repost). While she’s been recovering, she was still wearing her brace at the bout. Well, she is a Rainy City skater, so you know her heart was in it. In addition to yelling (a yell fueled by a flask-and-a-half of whiskey, neither here nor there of course ), she could be found on more than one occasion hopping on her one good leg while trying her hardest to both keep her Mangled leg stable and her attention focused on who she should be yelling praises and curses to (whether they be toward her team, the other, or of course, the zebras). It was truly an inspirational sight to behold!   !

Again, kudos to both squads, as Jet City got the win and Rainy City made sure they earned every point. This was one 62-point difference that certainly didn’t feel like a blowout. !Jet City has many talented skaters, and, as joshbomb was first to point out, will certainly be WFTDA Regional contenders in the near future.!

Short Track

So, no pics yet. Waiting for potential shots from a couple sources, so I’ll keep you all posted. Hopefully I can ad some in before week’s end. Check back for more. I was originally going to announce, but with only two mics and Jet City bringing their own announcer, Bulldog, I gladly let he and Sparticus run the show. I really enjoyed getting to be a fan again, even if my voice was raspy as all hell the next day. But, since I thought I’d be on the mic, I neglected to bring my camera. Lesson learned.

Also, check out the Rainy City Web site, www.rainycityrollerdolls.com. The site was just launched by fresh meat skater Mambo Boom! and looks great! Some parts are still being built, but what’s up is a nice foundation.

Next up for Rainy City is Knocktoberfest, which will be on Saturday, Oct. 17. Stay tuned for more details!

I’ll be in Slaughter County this weekend as the Terrormedixxx and Death Rattle Rollers prepare to battle….each other! More details on that as we get closer too. Nice to see Brawlyanna and Brandifurious out too in the crowd!

Lastly, in addition to my Rainy City girls, it was great to see Precious N’ Metal at the afterparty. She was super cool to talk to and hang with for a bit and it’s always a pleasure getting to mingle with the opposition!

So, that about sums it up. Don’t forget to get your regionals fix this weekend, with Southern Fried Smackdown kicking off Friday in Atlanta. Will it be Texas? Who will be this year’s Kansas City-sized upset? Can hometown Atlanta shake it up? We’ll see…

No matter what though, it’s gonna be a fun weekend!

Take it easy derbyers!

Thurston!

NOTE: Again, sorry for my own brain farts there. Cheers!

Jet City Bombers Ride the Wave, Face Rainy City Tomorrow

Sometimes teams simply don’t play as well as their individual parts. Unfortunately for Tacoma’s Dockyard Derby Dames all-stars, the Wave of Mutilation, last Saturday was one of those nights.

Facing another highly skilled all-star team out of Everett, the Jet City Bombers, Dockyard knew it’d have to be at the top of its game to slow down the Bombers. But from Connie Torturous’ huge hit on Wave’s Dakota D. Stroya in the very first pass attempt in the very first jam, the tone was set.

Wave of Mutilation's Franky Bones lays out Jet City's Missus Unshine.

While things started closely in the first two jams, with Jet City up 5-4, things quickly unraveled for the Wave of Mutilation. Part of it was Jet City’s speed, as the Bombers kept pushing the pack and forcing Wave to skate its pace. Part of it was the fact that for whatever reason, the Wave just seemed to be a little off all night.

The Bombers quickly jumped out to a huge lead and never looked back. Skaters like Cheerbleedher, Connie Torturous, Indy Pendant, Sierra Fist, Mona Agony, Precious N Metal, and Fuzz Kill frustrated Dockyard throughout. But the real muscle on the night for Jet City came from the likes of Trixxxie’s Trash’n Em and Nasty Nikki Nightstick.

Two Jet City bombers team up on a jamming Vitamin V last weekend.

I was enjoying just watching (lately I’ve been tasked with a wide variety of bout-day activities, from announcing to NSOing to whatever else) so I didn’t take any detailed notes on this one, or even write down the final score (whoops!).

Jet City did a number of things well. They kept the Wave from getting comfortable and forced the Wave to skate their style of bout almost all night. While they were keeping up with Dockyard’s physical side, it was their speed and agility in the pack that won them the bout.

Jet City's Ivana Hercha was one of several jammers to contribute to the blowout.

To Dockyard’s credit, while the team lost 200 something to less than 100, the game certainly didn’t feel like a blowout.  That’s one thing I’ve always enjoyed and really appreciated as a derby fan about Dockyard…no matter the score, they’re still gonna try to hit you as hard as they can!

As Vitamin V demonstrates here. Missus Unshine is again on the receiving end.

Really, when Dockyard did communicate and build walls, they were effective. It just didn’t happen that much. Now don’t get me wrong…I love the Dockyard girls. They’re some of my favorites outside Rainy City to watch and party with. But simply stated, they just didn’t play up to their own level in this one. I’ve seen almost every skater on the Wave of Mutilation play better than they did last weekend. Again, why they were seemingly a little off kilter I don’t know. But I’m sure they’ll rebound, learn from the experience and come back better for it.

Dakota D. Stroya, Mytai Smashya, Vitamin V and Teeny Mussolini all had solid individual efforts, but I was most impressed by the consistently hard-hitting Franky Bones, who I had not yet gotten to see skate before. She was certainly a force to be reckoned with.

As for Jet City, especially being the Bombers, I had another vested interest in watching this bout. You see, tomorrow, the Rainy City Roller Dolls play host to the same Bombers.

the rainy city scouting section

It was nice to not only get a look at the Bombers prior to playing them, but I always enjoy the trips up to Tacoma, an old stomping ground of mine. The Soccer Center provides a great (albeit hot and sweaty) atmosphere for the sport, the skaters are all super nice (thanks for the cookies Judy Asa Punk and the conversation Streepers!). I also got to meet a few more of the girls in person and it’s always fun chewing the fat with Elwood Bruise. Thanks for the fun night Dockyard! Sorry I couldn’t afterparty this one…I’ll have to make it up to y’all at the next one…league championships perhaps?

But I digress…come to the bout this weekend between Rainy City and the Bombers! It’s gonna be another fun one!

you know you want to!

I’ll be announcing alongside Rainy City’s newest face on the mic, Sparticus! It should be a great opportunity to announce alongside another talented announcer (I tried to work announcement and announcing into this sentence too, but just couldn’t bring myself to it).

In any event, bout time is 7 p.m. at the Rollerdrome in Centralia. Be there!

Short Track

Earlier that same Saturday, six members of the Rose City Rollers’ Axels of Annihilation came up to the ‘Drome to scrimmage with Rainy City. Originally, this was supposed to be the Wheels of Justice as well as Rat City, but Rat had to back down. Rather than stepping down altogether however, former RCRD co-founder Napalm Beth rallied up some of her AoA teammates and gave a full Rainy City roster its money’s worth.

first jam of the scrimmage...Hi Slaughter!

In addition to Napalm Beth, the team also consisted of Wreck Deckard, Scrappy Go Lucky, Shove Me Tender, Sully Skullkicker (I think) Honey Hellfire and one more I can’t remember (sorry napalm…lost the list you made me If anyone does know, please add it either comments or get a hold of me! Thanks!).

For only having six skaters, the AoA Super Six (as I’ll dub them), skated extremely well, even if it was just a scrimmage.

Nice block by Toot A Lou opens it up for Kill'er B

Since it was a scrimmage, the squads took a handful of breaks to talk with refs about things, talk to each other and, for the sake of the Super 6, just take a breather! In addition to their more veteran skaters, Rainy City also got to see how some of their fresh meat stack up against some tough competition. Ultimately, the score would have been pretty close, had it been kept.

GnR's Napalm Beth reaquaints herself with former Rainy City teammate Holly Hobbler

Ultimately, it was a nice experience for everyone involved and a nice warm-up for tomorrow’s Rainy City bout.

In addition to hanging out with the skaters for a little bit, it was also nice to see a couple refs I hadn’t seen since Derby Daze and the Refs/NSO clinics there. They were also super helpful in relaying rules info to the skaters. Their time was even more appreciated after we found out they also had a derby doubleheader. But rather than simply skippin up I-5 to Tacoma, they were heading to Hermiston, Ore. for some action down there.

Wench Warden lets 'em know what's up.

In the end, another great opportunity for the skaters and another great photo opportunity for me!

nice crossover mangles!

Even Shorter Track

Couple more things I wanted to throw in here real quick-like.

First off, WFTDA regionals is ongoing and already underway with the Brawl of America North Central tournament. If you’re not watching it live, then you damn well better start! Last weekend’s Wicked Wheels of the East tournament provided one of the best bouts ever as Philly upended Gotham for the title in the final jam. Don’t miss the next potential great bout.

Secondly, Rainy City made their TV debut this week, as NW Adventure paid a visit. Then the fellas tried to scrimmage…ouch. It’s a little bit into it but well worth it!

Thirdly, Dockyard is trying like hell to fundraise for an upcoming trip north of the border against Calgary! They’re having a garage sale this weekend. If you need a sale to go to or will be in Tacoma, check it out!

Lastly, in a sad moment, a heartfelt condolence to the Northstar Rollergirls and the family of Moxie Mayhem, who was tragically killed when a car struck her as she was jogging with her 3-year-old daughter (who is unharmed). A fund has been set up for her daughter. She was 33, R.I.P. If you can contribute to the fund, please do so. If all you can do is contribute your thoughts and/or prayers, then please do so. Derby itself is a family, and it always stings to lose one of our own. Moxie, you will be missed.

Stay safe out there derby nation,

Thurston Gore!

p.s. I know it’s not derby, but I saw Sunny Day Real Estate in Tacoma this week! Feel free to check out my review here at Ear Candy!

Rat City ‘Reigns’ on Prima’s Parade

I had never seen the Oly Rollers lose.

Not the Cosa Nostra Donnas. Not the Prima Donnas.

I’ve seen them skate against several different teams and skill levels.

But until Saturday night, I’d never seen an Oly team on the wrong end of the score board after 60 minutes of flat-track action.

But thanks to Rat City’s Reign of Terror, that all changed.

Sometimes you just have one of those nights... Thanks for the shot PDXSharkey/Masonite Burn!

Skating at home at Skateland in Olympia, the Primas included usual Cosa’s Mary Stoppins, Intended Anger, Trickk Tracy, Foxy Blocker and Wax Job, presumably as another opportunity to get ready as Oly, ranked No. 1 in the Western Region, prepares for the WFTDA Regional Tournament Oct. 2-4 in Denver.

But with Reign of Terror full of talent as well, it was up to either team to set the tone early. Unfortunately for the Primas, that team was Rat City.

The tone was set early as Rat City’s Rebel Belle lined up against Mary Stoppins, one of Oly’s top jamming threats. But when the whistle sounded signaling the end of the first jam, it was 5-0 Rat City. Before tonight, I’d yet to see Mary Stoppins shut out. Little did I know that Rat City would shut out Oly jammers in five of the first six jams, allowing Rebel, Sister Piston, Riot Act, Ima Handful, Eddie Shredder and Deadly Aim to open a 27-4 lead. Stoppins was shut out in her first four jams.

Deadly Aim helped Rat City open up an insurmountable lead on Oly.

It seemed like every time the Primas began to mount an assault, Rat City at least clung to their heals. For example, in three straight jams Oly was able to post four points in each. In two of those jams, Rat City kept nibbling away, adding two points in each. Then Skate Trooper opened up for 13 for Rat, setting the Seattle-based skaters out front 44-16.

Oly was getting strong blocking on the night from Trickk Tracy, Lil Bit Naughty, Halle Scary, Betty Blockade and Co., but the Reign of Terror seemed to constantly find a way through.

Action was intense early as both teams battled physically for on-track supremacy.

For example, with Sister Piston jamming for Rat, Lil Bit Naughty and Trickk were sitting on Piston big time, frustrating her as the jam wore on past the minute mark. But sure enough, a huge block by Skate Trooper freed up Piston after an otherwise stellar blocking effort, allowing the jammer to scoop up three more points when it appeared a big zero was on the way.

Penalties didn’t help either, as Oly, which as a team skated as clean as I’d ever seen them, suffered many a trip tot he sin bin for the jammer, best illustrated by Intended Anger, who at one point in the first half was the jammer in four consecutive jams, thanks to starting in the box for three. That afforded the Reign of Terror another 18-2 run to go up 65-23. The run did have one casualty for Rat however, as one of my fav Rat City blockers Clobberin’ Mame had to leave the game with an injury. I couldn’t tell what had happened or exactly where she was hurt, so I don’t what to speculate as to how. But I certainly do want to say I hope you’re all right Mame!

Oly's Intended Anger gets sent to the floor on a huge hit by I think Skate Trooper.

The Primas mounted a nice run at the end of the first half to close the gap. In fact, the Primas scored 23 points in those four jams, collecting two scoring passes from each from Mary Stoppins and Foxy Blocker. Had it not been for a 12-point jam by Deadly Aim, Rat would have been shut out in all four of the final jams of the first half. Still, the Primas closed the gap to 77-46 at the half, which, as anyone familiar with derby knows, is anything but a safe lead.

Halftime was pretty fun for multiple reasons as well. Featuring a merby scrimmage with members of Puget Sound Outcast Derby, the fellas put on a crowd-pleasing show as Team Hollywood Chuck Bury battled Team Quadzilla. Really, the scrimmage became more of a one-ups-manship contest between Chuck and Quad, but that doesn’t mean it was any less crowd pleasing. For example, early on, Quad took a spill in front of Chuck, forcing Hollywood to take to the air to leap over Quadzilla. Later, Hollywood got the best of Quazilla for points, but Quadzilla, not one to leave the last laugh hanging, performed one of the slickest derby moves seen yet…the in-motion pantsing! All joking aside, the fellas put on a great show yet again.

Quadzilla gets a jump on Hollywood Chuck Bury at the half.

But perhaps the best part of this halftime was the debut of Referee Crack Attack! In donning the stripes for the first time, Crack Attack joins her father, Papa Crack, as one of the only father-daughter reffing tandems! Normally a highly skilled Rainy City blocker, we gave a loud cheer when she was able to send Chuck to the box late! Nice job (and happy birthday!!!) Crack Attack!

Crack Attack demonstrates "not lead jammer" during the merby halftime!

Unfortunately for Oly, the second half started much like the first, with Rat City opening play on a 36-9 run to go up 113-55, a lead they’d never surrender from the bout’s opening whistle. Ima Handful capped the nice run for Rat with a 15-point jam (her second 15-pointer on the night).

Nothing settled well for the Primas early. Trying to get a jump start on the second half, the Primas turned to Stoppins yet again. Somehow, Mary lost her jammer pantie and didn’t realize it until she tried unsuccessfully to call off the jam. She had to skate around the entire track again to pick it up, barley getting it back on before the jam ran full time. While Stoppins had collected four points, because she couldn’t call it off, Skate Trooper kept going and eventually nabbed six.

"knock knock." who's there? "pile up." I'll let you finish

Oly did start putting together some quality runs late, but simply couldn’t get enough momentum going. For example, Oly shut down the Reign of Terror for just two points in the next five jams following Handful’s 15. Rat City was shut out in four of those. But Oly scored just 18 themselves (less than four per jam) during that span, only closing the gap to 115-73 (although to be fair, Foxy Blocker in the final jam of that series called it off defensively (and wisely) with Rebel Belle right on her heels).

Aside from a 19-point jam by Intended Anger to close out the bout, and some huge hits, Oly couldn’t keep things much closer on the scoreboard, as Rat City went on to win 142-112. Wax Job had a huge hit that got the crowd up and roaring late however, leveling jammer Belle for zero points while Foxy Blocker got five back.

Wax Job had several big hits like this one for Oly.

But more than anything, the thing keeping Oly from getting comfortable was a wall of white-and-green blockers throughout the bout.

i wish my house had walls this solid. or, Rat City goes textbook.

Rat City put together such a concentrated team effort. It was certainly the best I’d seen them represent in the south Puget Sound region (I should say, I’ve never seen a Rat City bout yet…just their skaters in bouts or scrimmages). Deadly Aim and Skate Trooper in particular gave Oly fits all night.

Actually, I’ll get to see them in the scrimmage capacity again next weekend as Rainy City is hosting Rose City and Rat City in another round of closed scrimmages. It’s always a blast when these three get together, and even though this one is early morning, you know I’ll be back on here with the details!

Rainy City next takes on Jet City on Sept. 19 at home, challenging the all-star team the Jet City Bombers! This should be another very tough bout for both teams and a great challenge for Rainy City in the face of another stiff competitor. You won’t want to miss it!

Short Track

I posted this before, but what the heck. We’re always open to suggestions!

Now that the blog has been around for a little while, what are some things you’d like to see included? What do you like about? What could be done better? Don’t hold back! I’m a journalist first and foremost, so I know how to take constructive criticism. Besides, can’t get better if you don’t try to shore up what might not be working so well. So again, feel free to suggest some things you like or dislike, or simply what kind of things you’d like to see in the future.

Word to yo mothers.

¡Thuston Gore!

Trampires Outlast Rainy City in a Wild One!

So, once again, I did not get to go to an amazing bout.

While I was off camping at Mt. Rainier, specifically while finishing up a 5 mile hike gaining about 2,000 feet in elevation, the Rainy City Roller Dolls were hosting the Dockyard Derby Dames’ Trampires, the last of the DyDD teams Rainy City had left to face and their league’s season one and two champions.

While I wasn’t able to attend, many thought this would be a great match-up before the teams ever hit the hardwood of Centralia’s Rollerdrome. They weren’t wrong. Thanks to the magical wonder of video recording technology, I was able to see the bout after the fact. And while it’s never quite the same, the hits were captured nicely, showcasing how bruising a bout this one truly was.

Before a small-but-loud crowd, Rainy City and the Trampires treated everyone to what might have been Rainy City’s second-best bout of the year, from a fan’s perspective, after their thrilling 139-134 victory against Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ Terrormedixxx. Hits were ferociously hard, the pack was wicked fast and lead changes were aplenty. And while last time Rainy City found themselves on the winning end of a close battle, there was no telling who would take this one.

RCRD's Poise'N'Bury, Miss Mel Mangles and Maxxxine McFiercen surround Trampire Rusty O'Tulle.

To demonstrate this as I saw it Sunday, the day after the bout when I returned to the land of cell phone coverage, I had a series of text messages form one JoshBomb, aka mt.tilicum. They started just as frantically as the bout was:

“So many lead changes! 51-46 RCRD up w/ 10 min left in the 1st half!”

“What did I miss!?!” I was thinking as I read the first text. I had been hounding my camping buddies about cell service all Saturday night for this very reason!

Next text:

“64-63 RCRD up at the half!”

Now I’m really freaking out. What happened?!?!

“94-78 Trampires 10 min into 2nd half”

Uh oh. I haven’t seen all the texts yet, so my adrenaline from the first two texts was almost as high as if I had been there.

“138-114 RCRD w 5 min left in 2nd (AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!)”

Lil Miss Mak'her Mark keeps tabs on an approaching Trampire.

Woah! Talk about back and forth! From almost 20 down to 22 up! Now I’m, thinking, “5 minutes left? Yes!”

“145-141 (Trampires) final “

My heart sank a little. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Dockyard. Along with Slaughter County, they’re probably my favorite non-Rainy City league’s around. But Rainy City are my girls, the team that opened the door to derby for me. So, I was certainly a little bummed after I read the last.

But what a great bout!

Elwood Bruise, who was running lines for the Trampires as an assistant coach, did a short-but-sweet recap on the bout at his All Bout Derby Blog. And, MasoniteBurn aka PDXSharkey always hooks us up with great shots! You can see his flickr stream from the bout here.

Upon watching the bout on video, you could tell both sides were physical. Among my favorite hits though was a tag-team effort in which Crack Attack was able to give Slaughter Kinney a well-timed push right into Trampire Dakota D. Stroya, one of DyDD’s finest, sending her into the bumper and forcing her to call off the jam.

It was also a great learning experience for four Rainy City girls making their official full-bout debuts, as fresh meat Chun Lethal, Benja Over, Bella Sol and NicFit all saw floor time against the Trampires. It provided a great experience for them to be able to compete in such a high-octane nail-biter! Nice job newbs!

The loss was the first for Rainy City since falling on the road in Bend, Ore., earlier this year against the Lava City Roller Dolls and just the team’s second this season, I think making them something like 8-2 on the season. And yes, both those losses are the only bouts I’ve missed. What gives ladies? I’m glad you like to win when I’m there and all, but feel free to win when I’m not too! Just kiddin….just kiddin. It was a great bout from both teams, and while only one team wins on the scoreboard, everyone who was there, skaters, officials and fans alike, really won.

Lastly for now, I’m going to be at the Oly Rollers bout Saturday as the Prima Donnas take on the Reign of Terror from Rat City! Should be another fun one!

I'll be here Saturday. Will you?

Hit me up if you’re planning on being there, as I’ll be there a few RCRD skaters and faithful. You can get all the ticket info here.

Rainy City next takes on Jet City on Sept. 19 at home, challenging the all-star team the Jet City Bombers! This should be another very tough bout for both teams and a great challenge for Rainy City in the face of another stiff competitor. You won’t want to miss it!

Short Track

Now that the blog has been around for a little while, what are some things you’d like to see included? What do you like about? What could be done better? Don’t hold back! I’m a journalist first and foremost, so I know how to take constructive criticism. Besides, can’t get better if you don’t try to shore up what might not be working so well. So again, feel free to suggest some things you like or dislike, or simply what kind of things you’d like to see in the future.

Also, on a pretty cool personal side note, I’ve been added to the contributor lists for Blood & Thunder, Five-on-Five and Fracture! I’ve been brainstormin’ up ideas for each and am already working on a Blood & Thunder assignment! All three have been super welcoming, just another reinforcement that roller derby is one of the most open and accepting communities in the country, if not the world! I’ll keep you all posted on my progress and will likely utilize this very blog to help out in various capacities along the way.

So, there it is. Have a fun Labor Day Weekend kiddies! See you Saturday at Skateland in Olympia!

Derby love,

¡Thuston Gore!

Derby Dazed! plus Fore! more

Last week provided a bit of a scare for me.

After having to miss out on RollerCon 2009, the pinnacle of derby togetherness in the City of Sin, Las Vegas, I was looking forward to getting my derby conference fix down in good ole PDX. After all, what better consolation than to go hang out with a ton of awesome Rose City Rollers in a mini-RollerCon of sorts down in Portland, Derby Daze.

i've been derby dazed.

Well, my bank (assholes!) had other ideas. Thanks to a lot of bank fees in a short amount of time, my trip was in jeopardy. I was literally in freak-out stage, as heading down was not only going to be my answer to missing RollerCon, but also my derby fix for a while, as I’ll be missing this weekend’s Rainy City Roller Dolls-Trampires (Dockyard Derby Dames, Tacoma) bout.

i'll be here

But alas, the stars aligned.

I ended up cruising down with a series of Rainy City skaters and coaches. I found myself in the middle of a Slaughter Kinney-Suzzi Sidebomber sandwich in the back of Miss Mel Mangles automobile, with Noa Fantastica completing our five-some. With the ride situation figured out and my good buddy Johnny letting me crash at his pad (not to mention a little dinero from mi madre; Love you mama!), I was all set and back on track for all the excitement Derby Daze had to offer.

featured here are Miss Mel Mangles, Slaughter-Kinney, Tina Burn'Her, Noa Fantastica and Suzzi Sidebomber. How photogenic!

Registered as an NSO (non-skating official), I was wondering how the workshops would be, and how much we’d get to participate in other events around the Daze. But those were questions for later, as all we had to worry about for now was JAM SKATE!

just look how happy jam skating makes Toots!

Once we pulled into the parking lot at the Hangar at Oaks Park, we could already see one of host Rose City’s teams, presumably the Wheels of Justice, practicing. Since we got into town a little later, we skipped the carb load at Nightlife and headed straight to what I’ve been told is the oldest skating rink this side of the Mississippi.

the hangar at oaks park!

If you’ve never been to Oaks Park, it’s a pretty cool amusement-park setting along the river just a short distance from downtown Portland. Think of say, the amusement park at the Seattle Center but cooler. So, we played some games to kill some time before the jam skate and eventually went in to check out the action.

we got tickets bitches!

About 30-40 or so skaters showed up at the official Oaks rink (Rose City skates on a sport court) Friday night for the jam skate, weaving in and out of the crowd, skate dancing and even getting their own exclusive turn on the floor. I stayed off the skates for this one, opting to just hang out, chat with a few people and shoot some photos.

everyone loves a jam skate! look how friggin' huge the rink is!

Following the jam skate, we headed over to the B-Side for the afterparty/meet-n-greet.

she's a pinball wizard, there has to be a twist, a pinball wizard has such a supple wrist!

It was pretty low key, but that was to be expected considering clinics for skaters began at 8 a.m. Official clinics began at 8:30, so at least we got to sleep in a little. Although, after meeting up with my buddy Johnny at about 1 a.m. and wandering the streets of PDX, brew in hand, until 3 a.m., I only managed about four hours of actual sleep before meeting up at the Jupiter Hotel, where non-skating clinics and ref meetings were held.

on jonny's roof! thanks for letting me crash at yer pad buddy!

The next morning, after making my way to the hotel, I stumbled into the ref clinic, where we underwent a diligent review of the changes between WFTDA ruleset 3.1 and 4.0. While I had already been aware of the changes and had read 4.0 at home, this was a great reinforcement and did contain some new info that I just hadn’t thought about in its proper context before.

For example, a very interesting discussion took place around point scoring in relation to a team with too many skaters on the track. For example, if too many skaters were on the track unnoticed, some refs have been awarding six points, since the rules do not specify a maximum amount per pass (six would then be the illegal five on the floor with one in the box). People seemed split on whether they would award five or six points in this case, but to me, it was an interesting discussion of a scenario I hadn’t previously thought about.

shit's serious! inspector parts (right) and cupples skate preach on!

Ultimately, it was a great discussion crossing a range of topics that kept me enthralled despite my lack of sleep the night before. There were about 22 of us, mostly refs, but a handful of NSOs like myself. And we had fun with it, with Goodie 2 Skates joining us for most of Saturday’s clinic and some of Sunday’s, and J.K. Rolling sticking in with us Sunday. It was nice to see the perspective and input from skaters as well in the room. Mad props to Inspector Parts, Cupples Skate and Bryan (aka Mr. Rolling in this blog), for organizing and guiding us through the refs/NSOs clinics as well as the bout and scrimmages themselves!

goodie 2 skates loves doc this much!

Immediately afterward we headed back to the Hangar for the first of several scrimmages on the weekend, an open black-and-white scrimmage. It was a great opportunity for skaters to match up against one another, as a number of leagues were represented, but also for us officials, who got to put in to practice right away some of the things we were discussing in the morning session.

It was also nice for me because the scrimmages were when I got to do most my own photography. Since I was working the bout, I wasn’t able to use any then (thanks again to PDXSharkey/MasoniteBurn for the bout photos!). I love shooting at the Hangar. With the exception of shooting where the doors are open, the light works pretty well for my crappy lens!

that's how I got this gem! if you know who this is, let me know!

Next came the moment I was certainly waiting for, as challenge mini-bouts were to take place. There was talk of several match-ups on the discussion board prior to the event, including a Mustaches vs. Mullets bout and a Freeks vs. Geeks bout. But with the entire event drawing less than anticipated numbers (still, more than 100 skaters were there as well as the 25 or so refs and NSOs), teams were incomplete, forcing a quick-thinking change of plans. But the one team I had longed to see in person held strong; Ladies and gentlemen, the debut of the motherfuckin’ Unicorn Punchers!

Miss Mel Mangles penned this beauty: "A long time ago when the earth was green and there were more kinda animals than you've ever seen, there were cats and rats and elephants and a whole lot more but the lovliest of all was the unicorn. Until I punched it in the face."

The Unicorn Punchers, birthed in this incarnation by Miss Mel Mangles, had no set opponents going in.But with so many incomplete teams, it ended up being the Unicorn Punchers plus a couple against everyone else, the Rainbow Brigade, Defenders of Unicorns, if you will.

miss mel mangles, pink 'stache and all!

While scoring wasn’t kept during this one I felt pretty strongly that the Unicorn Punchers made off with the win despite a strong effort from their opponents.

poise'n'bury dons the pivot cap! and blocking skills!

They were a powerhouse, comprised of Mangles, Slaughter, Bomber, Poise’N'Bury and Toot A. Lou from Rainy City, as well as Merciful Kate and Smackya Sideways from Rose City and a a bunch others I’d not had the pleasure of meeting yet. The defenders put up a good fight however, as evidenced here:

JK Rolling of Rose City and I think Miss E. Vil of Duke City illustrate cause...

...and affect!

Ultimately though, those Unicorns could not be protected, with several reporting black eyes, bent horns and tears of un-joy.

A happy team, those rascally Unicorn Punchers!

It was a truly fun part to the weekend however, and a great prefunk before the main event Saturday, the Rose City all-star team Wheels of Justice bouting Duke City Derby’s (Aleburque and Santa Fe, N.M.) Munecas Muertas (or, the Dead Dolls). Coming in, the Derby News Network had Rose City ranked No. 8 and Duke No. 15.

This bout was exciting to me for several reasons. First, it was only the second bout I’d seen between two ranked teams, the first being the Oly Rollers against Pike’s Peak. It was also the second sanctioned WFTDA bout I’d been to, again with the first being Oly-Pike’s. But it was also a first for me, as I was one of three people manning the penalty box, the first time I’ve gotten to work a sanctioned WFTDA bout, acting as the jammer penalty box official. More on this later.

Duke City gets ready!

In the bout itself, WOJ wasted no time asserting themselves, with Rhea DeRange busting out of the gates for two grand slams and 14 points in the first jam. Wheels’ blockers made great use of space, opening several holes for WOJ jammers that Duke City seemed to be unable to close. Defensively, WOJ shut out Duke through the first four jams, building a 25-0 lead before Duke finally managed a single point, making it 26-1. The next time Duke scored, it was 32-2 WOJ. Then 36-3. Then, in the 13th jam of the first half, Duke City captain Kamikaze Kim finally managed a multi-point jam, but by this time, the spread grew to 51-6.

Rhea DeRange races against Meep Meep. Thanks to PDXSharkey for the shot!

The first half carried on like this, with WOJ jammers DeRange, White Flight, Licker*N*Split and Scratcher in the Eye blasting Duke at the half, 91-14. WOJ’s blockers Angry Wench, Megahurtz and Sol Train had no problem containing Duke’s jammers. Already a blowout, no one was sure if WOJ would call off the dogs or if we were looking at the next Texas-Oklahoma bout, in which the Texecutioners cruised 451-8 back in June.

Scratcher in the Eye tries to force her way by Duke City's Amanda Jamitinya. Thanks to PDXSharkey for the shot!

But Duke City ended any chances of that happening and showed great team will where many would have folded. In fact, Duke turned the tables for the first three jams, outscoring the Wheels 27-0 in the first three jams of the second half to make it 91-41 thanks to a 19-point jam by Brutalitar. While still trailing by 50, Duke continued to force the issue, eventually closing the gap to 97-53.

Rose City's Blood Clottia sizes up Duke City's Kim Kamikaze. Thanks to PDX Sharkey for the shot!

But just as Duke City built momentum, the Wheels of Justice starting turning again, and with Rose City going on a 23-1 run of their own, ended any hopes of a comeback from the New Mexico visitors. But still, Duke City finished hard, keeping the WOJ damage to a minimum int he second half. WOJ still had the edge over Duke in the second half, 63-55, but the half was as close as people would expect of two ranked teams.

Kim Kamikaze breaks through the pack in the second half for Duke City. Thanks to PDX Sharkey for the shot!

Still, Wheels looked great on the flat track, winning by a total of 154-69 in a great tune-up for WFTDA Regionals coming up in Denver.

For Rose City, I was impressed by the whole team, particularly struck by strom moments and games from Wrench, Blood Clottia, Licker*N*Split, MaRollin’ Monroe, Mega Hurtz, Mick U Cry, DeRange, Scratcher, Sol Train and Flight. Each of those skaters helped put the early pressure on and hold it.

Duke City had great efforts from Jamitinya, Kamikaze, Brutalitar, Elvira Mental, Muffin and Miss E. Vil, who despite getting booted from the first half late on penalties remained a key enforcer in Duke’s second-half run.

Just getting to see so many of the highly skilled skaters I’d heard much about was an extremely exciting experience for me. Even better was getting to watch it all from the penalty box.

White Flight gets low around the outside of Amanda Jamitinya. Thanks PDX Sharkey for the shot!

My job was kept pretty easy as only one jammer from either team was sent to the box in the entire first half. But things picked up in the second half, which was when I got to have one of my best derby moments to date.

Anyone who’s seen Blood Clottia skate knows just how talented she is. So imagine my giddy surprise when who did I have to start the stopwatch for but none other than #2U herself. “Blood Clottia 30 seconds,” “Blood Clottia stand,” and “Blood Clottia done,” are probably among the three coolest things I’ve ever gotten to say derby related! Many of the girls sent to the box were great though, chatting up for a sec where they could. It was especially nice getting to chat with some of the Duke City girls too, who remained in good spirits throughout the bout no matter what the deficit.

I also got to wear the zebra stripes for the first time. Usually, I’m among those yelling “That’s BULLSHIT!” at a ref who just made or missed a call. This time I got feel that heat. In fact, in the pre-bout ref’s meeting, I even got to overhear some ref hazing!

me in zebra stripes! thanks for the shot sharkey!

As we were all standing in a circle, three Rose City fans walked by. I overheard one say, after seeing us all standing in such close proximity to one another, “If only we had a grenade.” I felt truly honored!

if only you had a hand grenade indeed, sir (the rest of the pics are mine in case you were wondering).

Some quick thoughts on the bout: Those Rose City blockers are the definition of tough. Their ability to collectively keep Duke City off balance allowed WOJ to run away with this one. Likewise, props to Duke City’s jammers, especially Kamikaze Kim, Muffin and Death Ro, for battling against those very walls for as long and hard as they did. Kim in particular took a brutal, but clean, hit from Mick U Cry that floored her in the second half, bringing another skater’s knee or skate down across her helmet hard enough to send the jammer pantie flying. At first I thought she was hurt, looking dazed after she got back up. But she turned around, got the pantie and skater through, although she was immediately sent to the box for illegal procedure.

As soon as she arrived in the penalty box all I could think to say to her/ask her was, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” After the third time she finally nodded. She continued to serve her time and rejoin her teammates, one of whom told me the next day she likely sustained a minor concussion. That’s dedication!

The afterparty that night was a fun one, held at the Green Dragon. With so many girls from so many leagues attending, it wasn’t hard to find a circle to talk with. One of my favorites was with other NSOs, including Rose City’s own Divaliscious HandiSlap! We had numerous laughs throughout the bout, afterparty and meetings!In fact, she was gracious enough to drive my car-less ass not only to the hotel and scrimmages Sunday, but also back to the Dragon, where my drunk ass left my tab open!

But alas, another early morning called. This time, with an extra half-hour of sleep for a whopping 4-1/2-hour total, we went back in to review the bout from the night before. I had only made one little snafu during the bout, where I thought the clock was supposed to have stopped at one point but was running. After getting an official timeout (hehehe) I quickly realized I was re-re and went back to my bench. Otherwise, the next day was provided further review as well.

Afterward, we were back off to the Hangar for another day of scrimmages before I had to take off. I missed the closing BBQ in order to catch a ride, but it was that or also sit at Rainy City’s practice that night in Centralia until 9ish. I took the ride (no offense to my RCRD ladies!).

From what I gathered in conversations with numerous skaters, the clinics were well-run and provided lots of good information. Originally intended for more advanced skaters, Rose City opened the event to anyone who could skate in a pack in order to boost numbers. Still, with clinics covering everything from endurance to on- and off-skates exercises, there was no lack of things to do. Clinics off-skates included strength and agility (with Axl Blows and Angry Wrench), stretching and yoga (with Scratcher in the Eye and Viaggra Falls) and a general off-skates clinic with Licker’N'Split and Chest Nutz).

Two of Rose City’s veterans lead a clinic Saturday.

On skates, clinics included a jammer clinic (led by Rhea DeRange, Blood Clottia and Scratcher), a blocker clinic (featuring Mega Hurtz and Hurricane Skatrina), pivot and pack communication (with Madame Bumpsalot, Sol Train and Fire Crotch) and footwork, among others.

With the amusement park happenings thrown in, it was a great mix all weekend long of work and play, all centered around the roller derby community we all love so much. And, with a year under the belt, the event should continue to grow next year; something I already look forward to! Thanks Rose City Rollers for an awesome rcknrllwknd!

Special thanks to Portland peeps Napalm Beth, Merciful Kate (who just joined GnR btw!!!) and Mr. Kate, Tina Burn’Her and Smackya Sideways, JK Rolling and Mr. Rolling and I’m sure many more who I’ll kick myself later for not including! You guys were a ton of fun to hang out with! Thanks for showing us around town!

Mercyful Kate, Napalm Beth, Miss Mel Mangles and Noa Fantastica = awesome!

Lastly, I’ve said it before, but hot damn the hangar is a fun place for a bout! And it’s all artsy-fartsy!

ok, maybe that's just me

SHORT TRACK

This weekend Rainy City battles the Trampires, looking for another win against a Dockyard team this season. I won’t be there however.

I’ll be off camping this weekend on a preplanned trip with some friends, so don’t count on the longest, most thorough recap. I’ll likely talk to some of the girls and write a small thing afterward about it (unless anyone else wants to write it…).

It should be a great bout, and if you haven’t gotten tickets yet, you should!

Also, Rainy City hosted a fundraiser golf tournament the weekend before at Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club in Yelm. I actually didn’t entirely suck!!

As a team, Team Magical Wizards, consisting of myself, mt.tilicum/josh_bomb, and my good friends Josh and Thomas, proceeded to shoot a collective 9-over for the 18 holes int he best-ball tournament. I was surprised at how well I was driving, and my irons were still solid. My short game still needed lots of work, but my putting was OK enough to get around it. I think Team RyRod (RCRD’s coach) won the event with something like a 7-under. Craziness! But I was still very pleased with our performance, considering how many performance-enhancing substances we were under, especially since they let you bring beer with you in the cart!

A big thanks to all the Rainy City girls who organized and were involved in this event, especially Lucyville SlugHer, who had to vacate early to tend to family stuff. Another big thanks to the Rainy City Safety Committee for keeping our team nice and safe on the greens! The tournament was a lot of fun and I certainly plan on registering again next year.

And, just for the hell of it, this pic I found while getting some stuff from my mom’s house this week.

How I knew derby would eventually find me Circa 1986

Til next time derby lovers,

Thurston Gore!

Merby versus Derby!

EVERETT – They say that in our country, all men and women are created equal.

But not on this day. Last Saturday, the men of the Puget Sound Outcast Derby decided to challenge a female mix team, featuring skaters from the Rat City Rollergirls (Seattle), the Dockyard Derby Dames (Tacoma), the Rainy City Roller Dolls (Centralia), the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade and the High Desert Darlins (Hermiston, Ore.).

On this day, there could be only one.

OK…so it really wasn’t that serious; please excuse my pension for the melodramatic. There were only two refs and no scorekeepers or NSOs. But it was still fun. Basically, the scrimmage was set up to allow PSOD to warm up before they hit the East Coast, where they’ll b taking on a host of other teams in search of merby supremacy!

The Skate Deck in Everett hosted the event, which I had never ben to before. However, based on carpet alone, I fell in love with the Drome away from Drome.

With carpet like this, how could you not have fun?

Actually, the similarities didn’t stop there. From neon overhead to hardwood underneath, I really enjoyed the atmosphere the Skate Deck provides.

As for the action, I’ll try to put together as complete as I can the teams that skated, although this was my first merby experience, so there’s several I didn’t know. I also didn’t know a handful of the ladies, so I’ll do my best.

On the merby side was RCRD coach RyRod, Trampires coach Hollywood Chuck Bury, Rat City coach Quadzilla, as well as The Duke of Delridge, Sass Squatch, G. No-Evil, Buster Fuzz and the Grimm Streeper. That leaves three I didn’t know, but apparently a couple of them were fairly new too.

On the derby side was MyTai Smashya and Rusty O’Tulle of Dockyard’s Trampires; Vitamin V and Streeperella from Dockyard’s Hellbound Homewreckers; Clobbern’ Mame, Wile E. Peyote and Swede Hurt of Rat City’s Sockit Wenches; Toot A. Lou from RCRD; Suicide Red from Ft. Lewis; and everyone’s favorite roving skater, Whomping Willow (this time reppin’ the High Desert Darlins; interesting side note…all five times I’ve seen Willow skate it’s been with a different team). I think I might have missed one skater on this side, but going back through my pics can’t tell for sure. Sorry in advance if I did! Feel free to fill in any blanks for me.

Again, since this was wasn’t anything official, I just wanted to kind of take it all in, especially since I’d never really see men skate competitively (save for a scrimmage in my early going). Some of the men were significantly larger than their female counterparts. I couldn’t help but wonder if this physical edge would also lend an advantage on the floor.

G. No-Evil tries to catch a jammin' MyTai Smashya.

This really wasn’t the case. Again, no scores were kept and everything stayed in a friendly, yet competitive, mood. But, both teams were right at each other throughout, with big hits doled out from both sides of the sexes.

Quadzilla has RyRod whipped.

Ultimately, in the first half, I thought derby may have been slightly up, but it was impossible to say for sure, since both teams had some very nice jams.

What was even more exciting about this bout was the mini-match-ups it created. Like RyRod going up against Toots (and Chuck and Quadzilla similarly going up against some of their skaters). You could tell, at least in the case of RyRod and Toots, that both wanted to win any kind of one-on-one moment.

Oh, the rivalry! Pivot RyRod sits on jammer Toots.

At the ‘half,’ using the term loosely, the teams mixed it up, so both were coed. That allowed everyone to mix up the style of play a little bit, especially for some of the skaters not used to skating with women from other leagues, not to mention the men. Again, both sides were pretty evenly set-up; no one team ever took lopsided control.

Hollywood Chuck Bury and Swede Hurt try to make a Rusty O'Tulle sandwich.

It was also nice to see the more competitive side of some skaters, like Sass, who I had only seen ref prior to this one.

Throw in the fact that I got to cheer with the Rainy City supporters and I was a happy derby camper.

Don't ask me why our water looked like beer.

Hopefully the event did prove a nice warm-up for the fellas, who are heading easterly to defend their reputation among merby’s finest. It was also nice to see the guys, many of whom are coaches, physically demonstrate the very strategies and tactics they so often articulate to their skaters.

Merby + one. Can you spot the ringer?

So again, good fun all around. It’s always a pleasure to see new skaters and familiar faces in new capacities. Afterward, we headed to the pizza joint next door and proceeded to build our buzz with Willow and Duke, Streeperella and the Grimm Streeper, MyTai and Vitamin V (we being myself, mt.tilicum, chun lethal and slaughter-kinney). It was a great laugh-filled time, probably a little louder than most Everett Alfy’s-goers were expecting. But thanks to each of them for providing some fun before our two-hour trek back down I-5.

Short Track

Don’t forget to register for the Rainy City Roller Dolls golf tournament!

This weekend marks the Rainy City Roller Dolls golf fund-raiser at the Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club in Yelm.

First, recapping: The four-man scramble will feature a shotgun start with action starting at 2 p.m. The cost for the event is $40 and includes 18 holes at Tahoma Valley, a cart rental and a post-round drink ticket. The event also includes a raffle featuring an assortment of prizes, as well as longest-drive and closest-to-the-pin challenges.

Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club is located at 15425 Mossman St. SW in Yelm. Golfers must pay and register prior to the tournament. For more information or to register, contact Julie Miller (Lucyville SlugHer) at (360) 451-6941.

In perpetration for this event, I went with mt.tilicum to the small 9-hole course near Tumwater Airport. While I was hitting straight and (relatively) deep on my drives (which remember, means driving with a 4-iron), my short game and approach were horrendously out-of-sync. I can tell I need to hit the range once or twice more, but overall, was happy with where I was considering I hadn’t played an actual course of any kind since twilighting Bellingham’s Lake Padden back in 2004.

But get ahold of Lucyville and join us! It’s gonna be pretty sweet (and it comes with a drink ticket!?!? Come on!?!?!?!)!

Also, I’m still looking for potential recap-ers. Let me know if you’re interested for the Aug. 29 bout between the Rainy City Roller Dolls and the Trampires!

Word.

Thurston!

Rollercon 2009! I wasn’t there!

But you can bet your ass I will be next year!

After hearing numerous tales of derby and debauchery from Rollercon 2009, I’ve decided to start scrimping and saving, hoping that in a year’s time I too will return home from Las Vegas with my own slew of sensational and salacious stories, and hopefully nothing more.

Herpes does not stay in vegas.

Of course I’ve been familiar with the annual derby lovefest in the city of sin since reading about last year’s in Blood & Thunder. From the action on the streets to the raucous party scene of life after dark, I too long to see the sunrise, while wasted with whiskey in hand, at 7:30 a.m. And I will. Oh I will.

A few of the Rainy City Roller Dolls made the trip down, including veterans Miss Mel Mangles and Crack Attack as well as fresh meat Chun Lethal. They joined thousands of other derby girls and supporters for Rollercon, which includes scrimmages, clinics, vendors, Vegas…just about anything and everything derby!

they'll even airbrush your derby attire, as modeled here by Crack Attack and Chun Lethal.

So, while I didn’t get to make the trip, I’ve been living vicariously for a week and a half. And if that’s reaffirmed anything, it’s that this will be me next year:

My goal next year.

In the meantime, check out recaps here, here, here and here (as well as tons of other places I’m sure; also, don’t forget the comments sections!) to see what went down at this year’s Rollercon-tastic summer party!

Short Track

Next weekend marks my return to the golf course, as I’ll be joining fellow derby adventurer mt.tilicum as well as some other cohorts for the Rainy City Roller Dolls golf fund-raiser at the Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club in Yelm.

First, the details: The four-man scramble will feature a shotgun start with action starting at 2 p.m. The cost for the event is $40 and includes 18 holes at Tahoma Valley, a cart rental and a post-round drink ticket. The event also includes a raffle featuring an assortment of prizes, as well as longest-drive and closest-to-the-pin challenges.

Tahoma Valley Golf & Country Club is located at 15425 Mossman St. SW in Yelm. Golfers must pay and register prior to the tournament. For more information or to register, contact Julie Miller (Lucyville SlugHer) at (360) 451-6941.

For me, it’ll be my first time back on an actual course since at least 2004. I’ve hit the driving ranges here and there, sunk a pretty sweet-ass-sweet hole-in-one playing putt-putt last summer, and have been brushing up on my Tiger Woods 04 golf skills via the PS2, but by and large, I expect I’ll suck.

 

but at least I'll have a better day on the course than this guy!

 

This is due to several things. First, I can’t drive. I tee off with a 3- or 4-iron, whichever feels right at the time. Can’t swing a driver to save my life. Trust me…it’s safer for everyone this way.

with me on the course, this could be YOU!

But aside from that, I used-to-could golf pretty well, in terms of my approach, short and putting games. So I’m hoping next to channel a little inspiration to hope it all goes well. We’ll be playing in foursomes, and hitting the driving range at least a couple times first, so I think I’ll be able to hold my own OK…all else fails, it comes with the free drink ticket!

"be the ball thurston." or alternately "na-nananananananananana."

Lastly, Rainy City is getting ready for their Aug. 29 bout later on against the Dockyard Derby Dames‘ (of Tacoma) Trampires. Both these teams were at Dockyard’s eight-team four-mini-bout format last month and both won, so it should be a good battle between two very solid teams!

Mark your calendars! In fact, if you want to get the lowdown on this one, you’ll have to get it somewhere else… For the first time since I’ve been involved with Rainy City, I’ll have to (somewhat) voluntarily skip this bout as I’ll be camping up near Mt. Rainier and Paradise, a trip nearly three months in the making.

go to derby for me. i'll be here.

That said, I’m debating how I’ll recap that one…if I’ll just talk to the team and attribute a lot to what they say, or (the preferred idea) if someone out there wants to help me out and write a recap, I’d certainly appreciate it! There may even be a future beer in it for the lucky chosen one! In any event, if you’re interested, e-mail me at thurstongore@hotmail.com and we can chat about it. word.

In the meantime, I’m gonna go get ready for this golf tourney! I leave you with this:

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the golf course! Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key... Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The little, brown, furry, RODENTS! Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers.

Have fun out there kiddies!
Gopher-killing, derby-lovin’ ¡Thurston Gore!

Dockyard takes on the PacNW Derby world!

Roller derby fans got a little bit of everything Saturday night in Tacoma as the Dockyard Derby Dames played host to four different teams representing four different leagues at The Soccer Center. From huge hits and huge leads to first-time and last-time wins, the action was intense from start to finish in the four mini-bout format.

In the format, each of Dockyard’s teams (the Femme Fianna, the Marauding Molly’s, the Hellbound Homewreckers and the Trampires) played host to the visitors (consisting of the Slaughter County Roller Vixens’ Death Rattle Rollers, the Jet City Rollergirls’ CarnEvil, the Rainy City Roller Dolls and the Rainy Terror Brigade, a last-second mix team made up both SCRV and RCRD skaters as well as members of the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade) in 30-minute mini-bouts, showcasing nicely each of Dockyard’s squads while also exposing fans to a variety of styles from across western Washington.

Just as you can imagine, with eight teams of derby girls all under one roof, things heated up quickly (anyone under the roof of the center can testify to that!).

Bout 1: Femme Fianna vs. Rainy Terror Brigade

The Femme Fianna were originally slated to take on the CinderKittens of Lava City, who were unable to make the trip. Instead, a group of skaters banded together from three leagues to battle the first team Tacoma offered on the night. Forming the Rainy Terror Brigade were BrawlyAnna, QT Krusher, Mistress Von Trample, On’Da Sligh and Less Than Shy of Slaughter County’s Terrormedixxx; Suicide Red, Legs Le’nor and Tamazon of the Fort Lewis Bettie Brigade; and Crack Attack of Rainy City. The Fiannain contrast, were a little short handed, enlisting the help of roving skater Whomping Willow as well to compliment the likes of T’erin Traxx, Skate Pauli Girl, Goldie Locksdown and company.

Things started off quickly for the Rainy Terror Brigade (RTB), with Suicide Red bursting through for an early 8-4 lead against T’erin Traxx. That’s when Tacoma derby fans got their first taste of On’Da Sligh, the TMX skater who’s been turning heads with her roller-hockey-inspired jamming. Behind a huge blocking line of Legs Le’nor, BrawlyAnna, QT Krusher and Tamazon, Sligh was able to punch through for nine more while Critical Hit was shut out, opening up an early 17-4 RTB lead. Just as Dockyard closed the gap behind a six-point jam by Skate Pauli Girl, Sligh was at it again, racking up eight more. Another four-point jam by Suicide Red and the RTB seemed to be on cruise control, up 29-14.

Suicide Red had picked up a penalty at the end of the fifth jam however, forcing her to start in the box as Whomping Willow took the line for the Femme Fianna. Red was joined shortly after in the box by her Fort Lewis teammate Tamazon, helping open the door for three grand slams to tie things up at 29 apiece, also giving the Fianna a much needed momentum shift.

The Femme Fianna rode that wave as T’erin Traxx and Skate Pauli Girl shut out the Rainy Terror Brigade for three consecutive jams behind great blocking and strategic jamming (not to mention a trip to the box for Sligh), growing their own lead to 45-29 and turning the tables for good.

The Rainy Terror Brigade tried to bounce back, with Sligh picking up eight more in the 10^th jam. But T’erin was right with her again, picking up six herself to make it 51-37 Fianna. But rather than an RTB rebound, the Fianna delivered the knockout blow, shutting out the RTB the rest of the way while Fianna jammers combined for 26 more, blanking the RTB in the bout’s final five jams. One of the best moments during the run came when Diva State donned the jammer cap after focusing on hitting the jammers all bout. Diva State battled her way through the pack, but a minor elbow cost her lead jammer. Rather than take a more defensive approach against Suicide Red, Diva State went on a tear, picking up a grand slam and four more for a 9-0 advantage. When the final whistle sounded, the Femme Fianna pulled of a skillful win, 77-37.

The Rainy Terror Brigade put up a battle, especially early on, considering it was their first time bouting together. For the Fianna, the win is especially nice coming against a mix-team of some very talented skaters, among the best on their respective squads. I had only seen the Fianna skate a scrimmage prior to the bout and was very impressed by how well they skated.

In addition to claiming a win for themselves, the Fianna also struck first blood for Dockyard, looking to represent well for the home crowd. After one mini-bout, Dockyard 1, Everyone Else, 0.

(Here were my recommendations for star consideration: Terin, Diva State and Skate Pauli were my FF picks, with Sligh for the RTB. Also, if I had to call a key jam, it’d be Willow’s 15-pointer to tie it up and change the momentum.)

Bout 2: Trampires vs. Death Rattle Rollers

The second bout of the night may have been the most anticipated, with this blog’s creator and host Elwood Bruise answering the call of duty, stepping up to coach the Trampires against Slaughter County’s Death Rattle Rollers, a team known for hard-hitting blockers and tough defense. Elwood took to the sidelines as normal Trampire coach, Hollywood Chuck Bury, was at speed skating nationals in Peoria, Arizona.

Just as things began in the opening bout, both teams battled for position early, with Dakota D. Stroya breaking through the pack for a fast four for the Trampires. The Trampires got four more from Teeny Mussolini. Speedy Gun Haul-Ass got DRR on the board however, trailing 8-3. Another back-and-forth jammer battle between Bashley Blaze of DRR and Trampire Redd Die forced Die to call it down one to Bashley Blaze, helping DRR inch closer 11-7.

The Death Rattle Rollers seemed to gain some speed in the fourth jam. With Speedy up again for DRR against Tricky Mick, a minor on Tricky ensured no lead-jammer status. Both teams ramped up the hard-hitting, with an injury to Eve Aftermath stopping play following a 7-0 run by Speedy Gun Haul-Ass, giving DRR its first lead, 14-12.

That would be the team’s only lead however. Looking to make the deficit short lived, Dakota D. Stroya rebounded after being run out of the pack by DRR jammer Gun’her Gombos to pick up four. Trampire blocker Mytai Smashya sat back on Gombos after that, allowing Dakota another grand slam, reclaiming the lead 21-14.

Following three more by Teeny Mussolini, Redd Die opened the door wide, getting a nice team blocking effort again anchored by Mytai Smashya, picking up a grand slam plus three for a 32-17 Trampire lead.

The next five jams proceeded similarly, with the Trampires going on a 17-3 run during that span, with Dakota picking up the largest chunk with nine in the ninth jam. The Trampires’ Tricky Mark took a huge hit from Death Rattle Roller Goodilicious, who was shaken up but returned.

Never a team to roll over, DRR got a big boost from Speedy once more, picking up nine points herself with a jamming Mytain Smashya starting in the box. That cut the gap back to 20, but the Trampires proved to be too much to contain the rest of the way, seemingly answering every DRR point with one of their own. In fact, after Speedy picked up three more to make it 53-32, it was the Trampires’ turn to put on a defensive display, shutting out DRR in the final four jams. Teeny, Dakota, Tricky and Redd Die combined for 17 in those five, locking up a 70-32 win. The run was also the result of great blocking by Trampire Rusty O’Toole, who had a solid bout from start to finish.

While the Death Rattle Rollers had some great blocking efforts from Anna Barbera, Goodilicious and others, it was the great teamwork between Trampire blockers and jammers that made the difference. So not only did the win give the Trampires a win, but made for a successful coaching debut for Elwood, who, should he retire from coaching right now, would be undefeated, among the coaching greats with a 1.000 winning percentage! In all seriousness though, the Trampires played a great bout and deserved the win they fought tough for. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 0.

(In this one I’d have to recommend Rusty, Mytai and a toss-up between Tenny and Dakota for Trampires and Speedy or Goodilicious from DRR. Key jam would be Dakota’s fifth jam, scoring nine to take over the lead for good.)

Bout 3: Marauding Molly’s vs. Rainy City Roller Dolls

With the Rainy City Roller Dolls and Dockyard as a league familiar with one another this season (Rainy City topped the Hellbound Homewreckers 128-96 in April and scrimmaged the Femme Fianna in May), it was going to be interesting to see how these two squads matched up.

The Molly’s wasted little time, with a fast pack pace aiding Pain Goodall in blanking Rainy City 4-0 in the opening jam against Toot A. Lou. DVS Dicer, one of two Rainy City skaters bouting for the last time with RCRD, forced Double D-licious to call off the jam after getting a point back, 8-5. After another neck-and-neck jam between Deathrose (the other leaving Rainy City) and Anita Hit Sum Won, proved that the bout would be a narrow one, with the Mollies up 12-8.

After another close jam between Miss Mel Mangles of RCRD and Molly C. Jane Skate made it 14-9, the Molly’s turned up the heat, with Pain Goodall streaking through the pack for lead jammer and four points. A nice cut move at the end capped an eight-point jam for Goodall, putting the Molly’s ahead 22-9 against Rainy City, a team that had won six straight coming into this one. DVS Dicer and Dita Von Squeeze matched each other for six in the next jam to make it 28-15.

With things looking good for the Molly’s, Rainy City responded. A great job early by Slaughter-Kinney, including both a big hit and a nice job sitting back on Anita Hit Sum Won, helped open the door for Toot A. Lou to take lead jammer. Behind a blocking line off Slaughter, Miss Mel Mangles, Holly Hobbler and Crack Attack (making her second appearance on the night after skating with the Rainy Terror Brigade), Toots followed up a four-point pass with a grand slam run that saw Anita sent to the box. Another grand slam later for Toots and the back-and-forth began, putting Rainy City ahead for the first time, 29-28.

With Anita Hit Sum Won in the box, DVS Dicer started on a power jam for Rainy City, picking up a grand slam. Before she could call it however, Anita rejoined the pack and salvaged four for the Molly’s to keep it close, 38-32 Rainy City. Holly Hobbler of Rainy City and Marauding Molly Double D-licious each picked up four in the next jam. After a scoreless 10^th jam Toot A. Lou again helped RCRD inch ahead, getting a 3-2 jam against Dita Von Squeeze to make it 45-38.

Both teams seemed to pick up the physicality of the bout in the twelfth jam, which saw Pain Goodall edge Miss Mel Mangles 4-0 thanks to some hard hitting by Vicious DivaLicious. Mangles got even against Double D-Licious in the next jam however, clearing out Double D while making way for Dicer to get four back for RCRD despite another nice jam for Molly Vicious DivaLicious.

Trailing 49-42, the Molly’s turned to C. Jane Skate. Early in the jam, RCRD’s Deathrose got sent to the box. Capitalizing on the power jam, C. Jane Skate got by Mangles and Crack to pick up a grand slam before adding two more to tie things up 49-49, the first of two ties in the bout. The Molly’s then took that surge of momentum and reclaimed the lead 55-53 thanks to six from Doubel D-licious to Holly Hobbler’s four. The Marauding Molly’s gained another point up in the next jam, with Dita Von Squeeze picking up five to a four-point effort from Deathrose. With time winding down and the Molly’s up 60-57, the fans began to buzz.

True to its build up, the bout came down to the very end. After Toot A. Lou held off Pain Goodall in a physical first pass for both jammers, a miscommunication on a whip attempt ended with Toots on the ground, calling off the jam defensively after three points to tie it back up 60-60. With a little more than a minute remaining, the bout came down to one final jam.

With a slow build up as both teams successfully held the other at bay the first time around the track, DVS Dicer finally got lead jammer for Rainy City. Anita Hit Sum Won stayed close, but got laid out on a big hit by Miss Mel Mangles, who was also sent to the box on the hit. That helped open a path for Dicer to pick up four en route to nine for Rainy City, utilizing a strong blocking effort to shut out Anita. When the final jam was whistled to a stop, Rainy City won a back-and-forth nail biter 69-60, providing the night’s most exciting bout in the process.

The win seemed like something scripted, with DVS Dicer scoring the winning points in her final jam with Rainy City. Both she and Deathrose closed out their Rainy City tenure with strong final efforts. Not only did the win keep Rainy City’s streak alive, but it also kept Dockyard from realizing a sweep at home. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 1.

(In this one I’d have to go with Dicer and Pain Goodall as the clear-cuts. The third could go to any one of Mangles, Toots and Vicious DivaLicsious. Key jam in this one was the very last one.)

Bout 4: Hellbound Homewreckers vs. CarnEvil

With the previous bout being such a close battle, this one seemed to start similarly, with Jet City’s crew taking an early 4-3 lead after the opening jam as Ally Kazaam got a one-point edge against Homewrecker Cookies and MILF. But rather than become another back-and-forth, CarnEvil used some big hits from blockers like Beezlebabe and Suzi 9mm to go up 18-3 through three jams, with Bess B. Ware taking credit for five and Cia Woodnwannabia picking up nine.

The Homewreckers could do little to slow CarnEvil or put big jams on the board themselves, allowing the team from Everett to jump ahead 25-6 behind the jamming of Cia, Mona Agony and Connie Torturous, none of whom earned lead jammer prior to the 7-3 run.

With a fast pack pace continuing into the seventh jam, Homewrecker Streeperella put a big shoulder into CarnEvil jammer Ally Kazaam. Cookies and MILF couldn’t take advantage despite gaining lead jammer however, sent to the box on a cutting major herself. That set up Kazaam on a power jam. Some good blocking (including a blasting hit by Blonde Amazon), helped hold Kazaam early to four before she could pick up a grand slam. Cookies and MILF returned before jam time ran out though, picking up three to make it 34-9.

Following a scoreless eighth jam, the Homewreckers seemed determine to get back within striking distance. Cookies and MILF powered by CarnEvil’s Indy Pendant to earn lead jammer in another fast pack. She was then on the power jam with CarnEvil’s Cia Woodnwannabia picking up an ill-timed cutting major. That (along with more stellar blocking from Blonde Amazon) opened up the door for three grand slams and 17 points total to pull back within 12 at 38-26.

Both teams proceeded cautiously in the next two jams, with a 4-4 jam between Ally Kazaam and Blonde Amazon following a scoreless jam. Someone would have to become the aggressor; this time, it was CarnEvil.

A big hit by Beezlebabe floored Homewreckers’ jammer Ivanna Pound-U, clearing the way for Mona Agony to pick up a grand slam for Jet City. Mona Agony passed the pack twice more before Mary K. LeTurnover sent her to the sport court, forcing her to call the jam off after a devastating 16-0 run. She was given a late penalty after the jam however, forcing her to start in the box after opening up a 58-30 CarnEvil lead. Cookies and MILF couldn’t take full advantage again however, as CarnEvil’s wall held up, allowing just three points.

Connie Torturous grew the CarnEvil lead to 67-33 on a nine-point jam following another scoreless jam in the 14^th. Bess B. Ware and Sister Slaughter battled to make it 69-37 CarnEvil. But with Bess B. ware to the box for cutting and with time winding down, things again started to get interesting.

The Homewreckers again called on Cookies and MILF to begin on the power jam. After picking up lead jammer and getting through for an initial four, Cookies and MILF put a nice juke move on Cia to earn four more. Needing to maximize points, Cookies and MILF sprinted around the track to earn two additional grand slams, capping a whopping 18-point jam and pulling the Homewreckers back within range of a conceivable comeback, 71-55.

It was Cookies and MILF taking on Connie Torturous in what would be the final jam of the night. Showing she can get the job done and score points in bunches, the Dockyard faithful was behind the Homewreckers. Could they really rack up another big jam and tie, or even surpass, CarnEvil on the final jam?

While Cookies and MILF skated well, the answer simply was no. CarnEvil went into the jam with a plan to control the pack pace, setting up hyper defensively to keep the Homewreckers contained. And while Cookies and MILF had a solid six-point jam, it simply wasn’t enough, with Connie Torturous adding three more to cap a 74-61 CarnEvil win, the team’s first victory this season.

So while what started as a blowout got closer toward the end, the visiting teams were able to level the playing field against their hosts. Dockyard Derby Dames 2, Everyone Else 2.

(In this one it’d have to be Cookies and MILF and Blonde Amazon for Homewreckers and Ally Kazaam, Connie Torturous and Suzi 9mm for CarnEvil. The key jam in this one I’d say was Ally’s nine-pointer in the seventh from a strategic standpoint, but Cookies’ 18-pointer to pull it close was nice too.)

STATS

Here’s the stats (most graciously compiled by Green Fairy, Jet City’s score keeper and a member of Seattle’s new banked league the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds).

Stats

Jamming

Femme Fianna vs. Terrormedixxx

(Okay. I hate to say it but the scoring on this sheet is all over the board…lol. And I can’t match everything on here up with what Thurston has in his recap. So, no jamming stats for this one. Sorry.)

Trampires (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Dakota D. Stroya (4-4-28)
Teeny Mussolini (5-5-15)
Redd Die (5-4-22)
Tricky Mick (3-1-5)
My Tai Smashya (2-0-0)

Death Rattle Rollers (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Bashley Blaze (7-0-4)
Speedy Gun Haul Ass (7-1-25)
Gun’her Gombos (2-0-3)
Ruby Rottin (1-0-0)
Scuttlebutt Jibberjabber (1-0-0)
Anna Barbara (1-0-0)

Marauding Mollys (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Pain Goodall (5-4-18)
Double D-Licious (4-1-8)
Anita Hit Sum Won (4-1-3)
C. Jane Skate (2-1-9)
Dita Von Squeeze (3-1-17)
Vicious DivaLicious (1-1-4)

Rainy City (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Toot A Lou (6-3-21)
DVS Dicer (5-3-21)
Deathrose (4-0-15)
Miss Mel Mangles (2-0-1)
Holly Hobbler (2-1-9)

Hellbound Homewreckers (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Cookies & MILF (7-7-51)
Pandora Panic (1-0-0)
Blonde Amazon (2-0-4)
Sister Slaughter (2-1-5)
Marcel duStomp (2-0-1)
Mary K. LeTurnover (2-1-0)
Ivanna Pound-U (1-0-0)
Twiggie Smalls (1-0-0)

CarnEvil (Jams-Lead Jammer-Points)

Ally Kazaam (3-1-17)
Bess B. Ware (4-3-7)
Cia WoodNwanna-bia (5-2-13)
Mona Agony (3-1-18)
Connie Torturous (3-2-19)

Blocking

Femme Fianna (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

T’erin Traxx (3-0-1)
Skate Pauli Girl (1-0-0)
Louda Than Bombs (1-0-0)
Snicker Brutal (2-0-2)
Whomping Willow (0-0-1)

Terrormedixxx (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

On’da Sligh (1-0-0)
Brawlyanna (1-0-1)
QT Krusher (7-0-1)
Crack Attack (1-0-0)
Suicide Red (0-0-2)
Leg Lenore (1-0-0)

Trampires (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

My Tai Smashya (3-0-1)
Teeny Mussolini (2-0-0)
Eve Aftermath (2-0-0)
Dakota D. Stroya (2-0-1)
Rusty O’Tulle (4-0-0)
Foul Play (1-0-0)

Death Rattle Rollers (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Miss Direction (0-0-1)
Anna Barbara (1-0-0)

Marauding Mollys (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Vicious DivaLicious (6-0-0)
MzSNOWmer (1-0-2)
Pain Goodall (1-0-2)
Double D-Licious (2-0-0)
Wicked Whip (0-0-2)

Rainy City (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Ghetto Heart (1-0-0)
Miss Mel Mangles (1-0-0)
Holly Hobbler (0-0-1)
Poise N Bury (1-0-0)
Pandora Bloxx (0-0-1)

Hellbound Homewreckers (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Blonde Amazon (0-0-2)
Cookies & MILF (2-0-0)
Mary K. LeTurnover (1-0-0)

CarnEvil (Blocked Jammers-Open Holes-Big Hits)

Beelzebabe (1-0-1)
Bess B. Ware (1-0-0)
Connie Torturous (3-0-0)
Indy Pendant (1-1-1)
Mistress Whiplash (0-1-0)
Mona Agony (0-1-0)
Suzi 9mm (0-0-2)
XE Cutioner (0-0-1)

Penalties

Femme Fianna (PIM)

T’erin Traxx (1)
Skate Pauli Girl (1)
Snicker Brutal (1)
Whomping Willow (1)

Terrormedixxx (PIM)

On’da Sligh (3)
Mistress Von Trample (2)
Suicide Red (1)
Tamazon (1)

Trampires (PIM)

My Tai Smashya (1)
Dakota D. Stroya (1)
Rusty O’Tulle (1)

Death Rattle Rollers (PIM)

Goodilicious (1)
Gun’her Gombos (1)
Ruby Rottin (1)
Anna Barbara (1)

Marauding Mollys (PIM)

Vicious DivaLicious (1)
Anita Hit Sum Won (1)
SARAted Edge (2)
C. Jane Skate (1)
Pain Goodall (1)
Missed Congeniality (1)
Wicked Whip (1)

Rainy City (PIM)

Benj Ya Over (1)
Crack Attack (1)
Deathrose (1)
Holly Hobbler (2)
Miss Mel Mangles (3)
Poise N Bury (1)
Toot A Lou (1)

Hellbound Homewreckers (PIM)

Blonde Amazon (2)
Cookies & MILF (1)

CarnEvil (PIM)

Ally Kazaam (1)
Bess B. Ware (1)
Cia WoodnWanna-Bia (1)
Mona Agony (1)
Suzi 9mm (1)

Short Track

With so much going on, it’s hard to get everything you catch or think about into the recap itself. So let’s do a bout-by-bout on some additional things that impressed me on the night.

Beginning with the very first bout, I was very impressed by the Fianna. I had seen a few of their skaters, but they really skated well against a team that had a lot of talent on it. In the second bout, it was great to see a new team, the Trampires. I’d seen some of their skaters before, but they had a number of skaters who really impressed me. And, getting to see Elwood pick up the ‘w’ was nice. In the last bout, I had never seen any team from Jet City, so CarnEvil definitely gave me a good first impression of what that league has to offer. Another fun crew to watch on the track too with some hard hitters and jukin’ jammers.

But wait, what about the third bout? All I’ve got to say about that is RAINY CITY WHAT!?!?!?!

What a great bout to watch! The Marauding Molly’s, who I’d also never seen, skated extremely well, as did Rainy City after their slow start, making for one hell of an exciting bout from a fan standpoint. But what I really wanted to do was say some additional goodbyes and hellos.

Both DVS Dicer and Deathrose made their final RCRD bout appearances in this one, and both showed exactly why they’ll be missed on the track, with Dicer getting the bout-winning jam and Deathrose continuing to look more and more mentally tenacious on the track throughout. But they’ll also be missed off the track, as they both brought great personalities to the RCRD team. While both are planning on skating down the road (Dicer is moving to Vegas and will try to get on with Sin City while Deathrose is moving to California, where she’s currently researching league’s in her area), they’ll definitely be missed!

On the flip side of that though, three brand new Rainy City skaters made their official debuts in this one, with Chun Lethal, NayK-47 and Benja Over hitting the track for the first time! While they mostly skated in one jam each (Benja had to go to the box, getting her a follow-up jam as well…coincidence? I think not! jk ), it was nice to see that even as league’s like Rainy City are forced to part ways with talent, that an influx of new talent is stepping up to fill the gaps! And while they didn’t get enough substantial time in this one to fully show how far they’ve come, the fact they made the roster speaks to how hard they’ve been working! Nice job ladies!

But my super huge fucking STAR! star goes to Dicer. You really couldn’t have scripted a better ending. It was fitting that she got to bring it home in her final jam for Rainy City!

So, there you have it. Many commendations to you if you actually made it this far. This is a lot of shit to read; no easy task.

Til next time derby lovers,

xThurstonxGorex